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Staying Connected


notthatintome

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notthatintome

Recently the guys i have dated have not liked me enough to take it to the next step. To be fair, I haven't really liked them either. However, the rejection always stings a little.

 

 

 

However, they always want to keep in touch/stay friends. Even when I try and detach they find a way to stay connected with me - mainly through social media. One even has a girlfriend who he likes but he seems to want to like all my pictures and message from time to time saying he has a soft spot for me.

 

 

What is the motivation for this? Why do they want to stay connected even though it was never going anywhere?

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Unless they're young and immature and just not ready to actually date, I would say that's rather unusual. It's women who find it easy to be "just friends" with guys, not usually the other way around.

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Some guys just can't take a hint or there's always that distant hope that the 'friendship' they're trying desperately to maintain will evolve into something more.

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they want to keep you on "standby" as a fall back option if things dont work out with the other girlfriend,

 

they do not fancy you as a long term prospect but would be quite happy to have a one night stand if it happened to suit.

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I don't mean this as a criticism but it may be your personality engenders feelings of friendship more then passion.

 

Nothing wrong with that. You just need to match up with the right guy.

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notthatintome

I just can't figure it out but it has happened twice now.

 

 

Guy no 1: We were dating on and off for 6 months. When we were together he said it felt like we were friends. I never saw it as long term and neither did he. I was trying to get over my ex and he was good to hang out with. We did have a bond. Now we message every now and again but he gets jealous if i am dating anyone new despite having a girlfriend. It's all very weird.

 

 

 

Guy no 2: I liked him but there was something missing. He was hot but there was something inside me that screamed no! There must have been something screaming inside of him too because he said he liked me but not enough to go any further. He doesn't want me as a back up for sex either. So i don't understand his motivation at all?! Sometimes he messages, sometimes he doesn't. But he is very much there looking at my social media and occasionally sending memes and messages.

 

 

 

I find when they reject me it just makes me want them more even though i know it isn't right. Must be an ego thing.

 

 

 

Sometimes i wonder if i am too nice, or too warm, or chase too much or appear desperate. Whatever it is, the last two have put me off men for a little bit and will wait it out until the right one comes along. i don't even want to go looking for it.

 

 

 

When i met my ex, he literally knocked me off my feet instantaneously. I wonder if i will ever meet anyone like that ever again? I fear not.

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I certainly hope you’ll find the right person over time. If you don’t want to be friends with people you can always be direct.

 

Sometimes it takes people a long time to find the right person. My best friend was married at 44 and know someone getting married today at 32. My dad found true love at 51.

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When i met my ex, he literally knocked me off my feet instantaneously. I wonder if i will ever meet anyone like that ever again? I fear not.
That's your clue. When you will feel like that again, you'll be ready for a relationship. You were probably meh with the following guys, and they could sense it. They can tell if you're not really into them. So that's why things didn't progress and they moved on. But that doesn't mean they don't like you.

 

 

Now it's your time to move on... from them.

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