Think he's gonna ask me out but I'm busy

[caputo77]

I recently got into online dating and met this guy who I've been talking to all week. We've been getting along really well and I'd love to move things forward and meet up with him! Normally I would just ask him myself, but I'm literally like 0 for 5 at this point when I've tried being forward with guys, so I told myself I'd just sit back for this one.

 

Anyway, he just texted me asking if I have any plans for the weekend. I'm guessing that's a buildup to asking me out.....but I'm going to be out of town. I really want to meet up and don't want him to think I'm just shooting him down. But I also don't want to be too forward and presumptuous by saying something like "oh I'm going to be out of town but am free next weekend and would love to get together." Because maybe he's just making conversation?

 

Should I just tell him my plans and that I'm unavailable and see what he says from there? Or should I go ahead and be forward and propose getting togehter another time?

[basil67]

Yes, I see where you're coming from. I'd answer his question by telling him that you're out of town but make sure to tell him when you're getting back.

[shydad]

I agree with basil67's suggestion, which is very good. Also, yes, it could be leading to asking for a date, but it also could just be making conversation.

 

Unrelated to your question, you mentioned being forward with the previous five guys, and it not working. Are you thinking that asking those guys is what caused it not to work out?

[kendahke]

Because maybe he's just making conversation?

 

and maybe he's working up the nerve to ask you out.

 

Why are you selling yourself so short here?

 

I'd bring up the trip before he asks you for a date and tell him that when you get back, you would like to take him out for a drink--and you do that and pay for it.

Should I just tell him my plans and that I'm unavailable and see what he says from there?

 

And that can be interpreted as you being flaky and not interested and he will act accordingly.

 

Instead of playing games, why not own your voice and agency and ask him out?

[Flame Aura]

"Yes I have plans this weekend I'm going to be out of town.. following weekend I'm free though no plans yet.. what about you?

[preraph]

If you like him, I'd go ahead and assume he's going to ask you out. I mean, he's talking to you on a dating app! Men don't usually just try to be friends with women, and not on dating apps, unless they're young or inexperienced and too afraid to actually DO anything. So assume he's a normal guy and say,

"Yes, I'm going out of town to see my (whoever or do whatever), but I'm around next weekend. What about you?"

[alphamale]

... So assume he's a normal guy

 

mistake #1

[preraph]

^ I agree it does seem like a long shot, but that's because LS has jaded me.

[Lotsgoingon]

I see your dilemma. It was wimpy for him to ask you if you are available first but yes, that's something I did when I was younger. He should just ask you out for the weekend and go from there.

 

A good answer to his question would be to get specific ... You don't even need to say "I'm available next weekend" though you can keep next week open if you want (no need to announce that).

 

No, I'm out of town this weekend, but I'll be back in town on Wednesday (or whatever day)..

 

You'd be giving him factual information. Let him then take the next step (and ask about your weekend) if you're worried about being too forward.

 

He can then ask you out, and if he doesn't, you haven't done very much or been too available or too forward.

 

Good luck.