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Itsjustme2000

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Itsjustme2000

I've been using tinder and I find that my conversations have gotten alot better in terms of not being ignored when sending messages, however there are still situations where I'm left thinking what the **** have I done wrong.

 

For example even though I match with a girl, if I start flirting with them I will get ignored. To cut it short, is it possible to scare girls off with flirting.

 

Btw the recent example that got me unfriended on Snapchat from tinder was ' I heard these ' enter location' are quite fiesty how would you describe yourself' she responds with ' hahahaha im quite laid back, not going to lie' I then respond with ' that makes quiet a change, maybe I can make you more fiesty?, what do you do for fun apart from riding dragons' the riding dragon part refers to an earlier text were I told her she looks like the girl from game of thrones. Any tips? too cheesy, too aggressive, just plain weird? Also another question would be, if she likes me according to us matching on tinder, can flirting creep girls out and scare then off? I don't think it was heavy flirting to the point where it would scare a girl away.

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Unless she posts that she is DTF or just wants to get laid yes you absolutely can be flirty too fast.

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Itsjustme2000

PS The text I sent was the third or fourth text I had sent. Up to this point she was replying every 5 mins, and laughing then I went to bed and sent her the text above about 12 hours late. I then got unfriended around an hour or two later. Why was this?

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Itsjustme2000
Unless she posts that she is DTF or just wants to get laid yes you absolutely can be flirty too fast.

 

Would you recommend asking what she is looking for or just try and feel her out? Or just assume she is looking for a relationship if she doesn't put in her profile she's DTF

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I've been using tinder and I find that my conversations have gotten alot better in terms of not being ignored when sending messages, however there are still situations where I'm left thinking what the **** have I done wrong.

 

For example even though I match with a girl, if I start flirting with them I will get ignored. To cut it short, is it possible to scare girls off with flirting.

You can't honestly "flirt" with Tinder Texting. All you will do is say something stupid and "poof" they are off to #9 of the 10 guys they are "Tinder Texting" with.

 

I make the date offer within the very first message exchange (message session), usually by the 4th message. I say "Let's get together for dinner at 6:00pm" and give them 1-2 evenings I have open for them to pick from. They either pick a day, offer a different day,...or they decline and I move on to the next one. You have to be the one to beat all the other gutless guys to the punch and get the date while they are all still playing "Tinder Text Flirting". Never forget that she probably has 10 other guys on the list she is Tinder Texting with at the same time as you.

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Itsjustme2000
You can't honestly "flirt" with Tinder Texting. All you will do is say something stupid and "poof" they are off to #9 of the 10 guys they are "Tinder Texting" with.

 

I make the date offer within the very first message exchange (message session), usually by the 4th message. I say "Let's get together for dinner at 6:00pm" and give them 1-2 evenings I have open for them to pick from. They either pick a day, offer a different day,...or they decline and I move on to the next one. You have to be the one to beat all the other gutless guys to the punch and get the date while they are all still playing "Tinder Text Flirting". Never forget that she probably has 10 other guys on the list she is Tinder Texting with at the same time as you.

 

Whilst I can see your logic, most guys are very boring over tinder and text in general. In terms of competition you can only do your best, asking them out faster maybsplit you apart but depending on how interested she is it could back fire or go well. in addition to this I feel like some rapport needs to built just because she needs to feel comfortable and so that she doesn't meet up with a creep. However I do believe that after about 5-10 messages depending on how the interaction is going you should ask them out.

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I agree with the above poster about 10 messages in, ask about meeting up. It can certainly be within the first conversation. When it's happened to me I felt flattered he found me interesting (or whatever) enough to get together.

 

Don't just assume they are DTF or want a relationship if it's not in the profile. I think it's best to ask in person. Who are we kidding? Their answer will vary depending on their opinion of you.

 

If you are hot but stupid, they may be DTF only. But if you are kind, thoughtful, fun then their answer could be different.

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Roadrunner234

I'll tell you my experience with guys on tinder back when I was using it (roughly 2 years ago). It's like a game, girl plays it shy, the guy is friendly at first. In my experience, everything deviating from that is bound to turn me off from a guy, especially if he says "I have never experienced such a connection with someone in my whole life, you are so special!" on the first half an hour (it did happen and he was talking about a relationship on the second day of chat. NOT good.)

 

1. If he says hi first, bonus point.

2. We exchange hellos

3. He makes a cute joke about one of my pictures

4. I appreciate the joke and continue the conversation

5. We either pick up a conversation about social norms, life, tinder, etc or we talk about going to drink something /always a drink, always at lunchtime so it's friendly and civil and doesn't look like I'm seeking a free meal/

6. We evaluate if the date was pleasant or not.

 

The keyword is FRIENDLY. You are there, you are available, that's it.

 

I have connected with guys who were flirty too fast. Even if I was DTF it kinda put me off because they either seemed desperate, or creepy, or disrespectful. Yes, I know why we're there BUT it shouldn't be ugly. Nobody wants to marry over a tinder text, nobody wants undying love proclamations over a tinder text and nobody wants to see a schlong over a tinder text. It's just a way for people to connect in a friendly matter, beat over the bush a bit and connect in whichever way they prefer.

 

I've met people who have creeped the F outta me. People who were clueless, disrespectful, vulgar. But I also met very pleasant men and they ALWAYS were friendly but not intrusive in the beginning. So, treat it as a virtual BAR instead :)

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Yes I believe you can be too flirty too fast. Some people like it right away others don't and get turned off, depends on the person you're speaking with.

My universal rule would be to play it cool and don't flirt too much too soon. There are other ways of showing interest by asking questions. Once you've established rapport the flirting will then take care of itself.

If she flirts, then it's basically an invitation to do the same.

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Rogue Vampyre

Don't flirt with them. Talk about stuff that your into & answer a few of her questions but then cut the convo short. Leave em wanting more.

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notthatintome

I am one the those females that gets put off very easily via a tinder message.

 

 

If i stop messaging it means i was never really that interested in the first place or something they said had put me off.

 

 

 

If i had read your message it would have put me off - sorry for being brutally honest.

 

 

it would mainly being 'I would make you feisty' this is cringey and intrusive. No woman wants to hear a guy say that until she knows them really well and a connection is there.

 

 

 

And the dragon joke is a little cheesy. We hate cheesy jokes.

 

 

If you want success just be nice, friendly and ask her questions. You could even throw in the odd genuine comment about what she looks like but don't make a joke about it.

 

 

 

You seem lovely by your paragraph on here. Be you and be genuine, not a showman looking to impress and i am sure you will be more successful.

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Itsjustme2000
I'll tell you my experience with guys on tinder back when I was using it (roughly 2 years ago). It's like a game, girl plays it shy, the guy is friendly at first. In my experience, everything deviating from that is bound to turn me off from a guy, especially if he says "I have never experienced such a connection with someone in my whole life, you are so special!" on the first half an hour (it did happen and he was talking about a relationship on the second day of chat. NOT good.)

 

1. If he says hi first, bonus point.

2. We exchange hellos

3. He makes a cute joke about one of my pictures

4. I appreciate the joke and continue the conversation

5. We either pick up a conversation about social norms, life, tinder, etc or we talk about going to drink something /always a drink, always at lunchtime so it's friendly and civil and doesn't look like I'm seeking a free meal/

6. We evaluate if the date was pleasant or not.

 

The keyword is FRIENDLY. You are there, you are available, that's it.

 

I have connected with guys who were flirty too fast. Even if I was DTF it kinda put me off because they either seemed desperate, or creepy, or disrespectful. Yes, I know why we're there BUT it shouldn't be ugly. Nobody wants to marry over a tinder text, nobody wants undying love proclamations over a tinder text and nobody wants to see a schlong over a tinder text. It's just a way for people to connect in a friendly matter, beat over the bush a bit and connect in whichever way they prefer.

 

I've met people who have creeped the F outta me. People who were clueless, disrespectful, vulgar. But I also met very pleasant men and they ALWAYS were friendly but not intrusive in the beginning. So, treat it as a virtual BAR instead :)

 

Thanks for the great reply, I especially like the treat it like a virtual bar. That's definitely changed my mindset abit.

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Itsjustme2000
I am one the those females that gets put off very easily via a tinder message.

 

 

If i stop messaging it means i was never really that interested in the first place or something they said had put me off.

 

 

 

If i had read your message it would have put me off - sorry for being brutally honest.

 

 

it would mainly being 'I would make you feisty' this is cringey and intrusive. No woman wants to hear a guy say that until she knows them really well and a connection is there.

 

 

 

And the dragon joke is a little cheesy. We hate cheesy jokes.

 

 

If you want success just be nice, friendly and ask her questions. You could even throw in the odd genuine comment about what she looks like but don't make a joke about it.

 

 

 

You seem lovely by your paragraph on here. Be you and be genuine, not a showman looking to impress and i am sure you will be more successful.

 

Thanks for the honest reply, I just feel like my conversations are very boring over text. At least from my experience of being ignored or conversations dieing, that's why I try and put more effort into messages. Maybe too much effort.

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I can only speak for myself, but sometimes I accidentally swipe on a girl I'm not too attracted to but I'm also not repulsed by so I decide to strike up a conversation just to hone my skills. 9/10 times I can get these girl's number and even get them to agree to come over to "Netflix and Chill" but after I get that confirmation, I ghost them because I wasn't that interested to begin with.

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Oh God I have accidentally swiped right a lot too. And I superliked a guy I have no interest in. I was scrolling to see if there was a profile and hit it in error.

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