Itsjustme2000 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 (edited) To cut this short, met a girl at gym got her contact details, messaged her over a few days, asked her out but got the "I'm busy for a month". Took a few days off then tried asking her again and got the "maybe". I stopped messaging her till She liked me on tinder. I then messaged her a few days later making it a total of 2 weeks and a few days. Up to this point she seemed to be replying well, laughing emojis, would add detail to the questions I asked, enjoys when I flirt with her, reply times vary from 5 mins to a few hours possibly half the day. She still does this now minus the emoji use. But since the beginning she never asks me questions nor does she initiate any contact? What can I do to get her on a date and why is she not asking me questions or initiating contact? Is she low interest, enjoying the attention, no interest shy, need more rapport? Edited August 12, 2019 by Itsjustme2000 Spelling mistakes and extra detaila Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 She is low to no interest but doesn't mind the attention. You've asked her out twice at least, it seems. Busy for a month means "no" and I am hoping over the span of 30 days or so you forget or find someone else or just move on. "Maybe" means I have no plans, I do not have a boyfriend, but "no" I am not going to make plans to out out with you and I can't think of a great excuse on the spot. Liking you on tinder means, "Hey, I know you and need more orbiters". Chatting with you means, "I like you in my orbit". Maybe you will message me when I am out with a guy and want to look like I am in demand and other guys are chasing me. Not asking questions and not initiating contact means she does not want to know anything about you because she is not interested and one simply does not initiate contact with an orbiter, lest she gives the impression she is thinking about you and it leads you on. It is the orbiters job to stay in orbit, not the other way around. It is her job to respond and absorb the attention. Move on, you are wasting your time. Think about it...if you had minor interest in a girl, would you show complete disinterest and if she asked you out say, "Hey, that sounds great. Maybe one day it will happen...who knows?" 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Itsjustme2000 Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 Thanks for your reply, in terms of the meaning of an orbiter, I'm guessing that means someone that sticks around and just messages a girl? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 She said she's busy. Busy with what? Work? School? Her fiance? Her kids? Find out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Itsjustme2000 Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 She said that she was busy with work and getting ready for school and stuff. Pretty much here words Link to post Share on other sites
Author Itsjustme2000 Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 She pretty much said she was busy with work, school and friends and other stuff Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Well, that may have been a "no," then. And now she's just being friendly. So when is her school out? I mean, in the US , school is out and just starting again. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 It's just an ego stroke for her. She isn't interested. If someone is interested, they'll find the time to make for you even if they're 'busy' for a month. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 She's not into you but enjoys the attention. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 she's not low interest, she's NO interest 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Thanks for your reply, in terms of the meaning of an orbiter, I'm guessing that means someone that sticks around and just messages a girl? Yes. basically a girl that has guys after her that she has no interest in, but they "keep" them around, in her orbit. She's not going to commit to doing anything meaningful with you, not going to date you, not going to really be a friend, but she likes having guys that hang around her and remind her of how attractive she is and how much in demand so she can get a confidence boost. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Yes. basically a girl that has guys after her that she has no interest in, but they "keep" them around, in her orbit. She's not going to commit to doing anything meaningful with you, not going to date you, not going to really be a friend, but she likes having guys that hang around her and remind her of how attractive she is and how much in demand so she can get a confidence boost. Jupiter = Good Looking Girl Jupiter's moons = Boys in orbit Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 It's hard to know exactly where her motivation is. I remember a girl/woman posting on here awhile back saying that she never accepts a date on the first or second ask. She had the "mak'em work for it" mentality. She was pretty convinced that the man is supposed to have high interest, pursue with diligence, and earn a shot to take her out and impress her. She could be one of those. Of course, I think it's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard. In your situation I'd back off awhile and maybe take another shot in a few weeks or a month. Don't invest any more energy. When someone plays hard to get, you have to play that game better than they do. Women like this don't want what's easy, they're intrigued by what they can't have, a challenge. Personally I think this one isn't worth any more of your time and attention, but if you're determined to keep trying you need to turn the tables on the aloofness. Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 She said that she was busy with work and getting ready for school and stuff. Pretty much here words I will add this...how are you busy getting ready for school? Like what effort is it, one trip to the store for school supplies, 3 hours of packing and then going to school when it starts? Over the next month her 4.5 hours of getting ready for school do not exactly make her all that busy. If someone is busy but interested, they tell you exactly what they have going on and not "I'm busy with stuff". I guarantee in the next month she has 15 nights she could go out minimum, if she really wanted to. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 Agree with Alpha … I see no interest, not low interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 She said that she was busy with work and getting ready for school and stuff. Pretty much here words She could have said she is busy for the month because she was dating someone. Itdidnt work..now she is available. A thing thst drives me up the wall is if I feel I have to initiate everything as you said eith first texts, Adkins about dates, deciding what yo do...this turned me off. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggiemay1 Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 She’s not too busy. She has time for friends and the gym. She has time to txt and has time for tinder. Therefore she has time to go grab a bite to eat or a drink after a gym session. I find it odd however that she said she’s busy for a month , yet you ask her out only a few days later? Why didnt you wait the month? You could also have suggested to have a gym session together? She is there anyway! And couldn’t respond with too busy to that! Perhaps she is early dating stages with another and wanting to see how that goes and that you are plan B? Who knows?!? But she did it seems lie to you about something. Forget about messaging her anymore. Just chit chat in person when you see her at the gym and see how she responds to you in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Itsjustme2000 Posted August 13, 2019 Author Share Posted August 13, 2019 In terms of school she is setting her self up for university so getting living arrangements done and student loan, but nothing so big that we couldn't hang out. When she sent me I'm busy for a month text she said something along the lines of I'm busy for a month with school , work (she said she has two jobs but I think both part time) as well as a holiday she is going on with mates for a week. Probably looking to get dicked down. After the holiday it would have been a month I believe. She told me this yester and originally when we spoke for the first time. She said sorry for so slow replys just as she was travelling. I told her to hit me up when she is back and if she does I'll ask her out one last time. Thanks for all you advice guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Itsjustme2000 Posted August 13, 2019 Author Share Posted August 13, 2019 SheÂ’s not too busy. She has time for friends and the gym. She has time to txt and has time for tinder. Therefore she has time to go grab a bite to eat or a drink after a gym session. I find it odd however that she said sheÂ’s busy for a month , yet you ask her out only a few days later? Why didnt you wait the month? You could also have suggested to have a gym session together? She is there anyway! And couldnÂ’t respond with too busy to that! Perhaps she is early dating stages with another and wanting to see how that goes and that you are plan B? Who knows?!? But she did it seems lie to you about something. Forget about messaging her anymore. Just chit chat in person when you see her at the gym and see how she responds to you in person. That's the thing. I thought she was lying and still is because we had no rapport, so once we had talked a bit and it appeared that her interest went up I asked again which I got the maybe text. But yes now that the ball is in here court it's down to her and if I get another rejection then that's it. In terms of gym I haven't seen her appear since I've got her contact details. On top of that she gave me quite a few since of interest such as starting a convo with me in person, staring, searching the room to see if I was there. She either manipulated me hard or I ****ed up real bad somewhere. I find it extremely hard to believe that she has no interest at least in person. If it was a cold approach I wouldn't be pursuing her after the second ask out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Itsjustme2000 Posted August 13, 2019 Author Share Posted August 13, 2019 She could have said she is busy for the month because she was dating someone. Itdidnt work..now she is available. A thing thst drives me up the wall is if I feel I have to initiate everything as you said eith first texts, Adkins about dates, deciding what yo do...this turned me off. This is the same for me, I'm pretty much on the brink of just giving up. That's why I didn't talk to her for two weeks. The thing is when I was asking for her contact details I teased her by saying ' you know you'll have to message first' and she said ' you know it doesn't work like that' I definitely feel like she's read or been told about these books that tell them to withhold their interest Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 No interest, enjoys the attention. She’s just using you for an ego boost. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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