ironpony Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 I've taken acting jobs, once in a while cause I am trying to get into the filmmaking scene more. One filmmaker I worked with before needed an actor that involved a sex scene in a movie. It was actually a rape scene. So I did, cause she helped me out on projects in the past, so why not help her. But it bothered by gf that I did that with another actress in a shoot. I have another project coming up where I am playing a part where I have to something similar, but she is also bothered by this, and seems to think i am up to something. It's just acting, and I'm trying to get onto projects, nothing more to be analyzed. Is there a way I can make her see that, cause I think after I do it, she is just going to be more bothered by it. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 Oh, your poor girlfriend. No, there's probably nothing you can say to her that will make her unbothered by you acting out your known fantasies and fetishes on film with other people, even if there's no actual sexual contact. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 You need to find another girlfriend. Preferably one who also does sex scenes. You 'll understand each other. Just wait until you tell her the next role you play will be as a gay man in an x-rated film... As is, there is no way for your 'regular girl' girlfriend to be comfortable with staged sex in front of a camera. After all, at the end of the day, it is you, not the character you portray, who is pulling the other persons pubes out from between their teeth... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 If it's porn, I can understand why this would be a dealbreaker. In actual acting, there is no actual sex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 Why is it that you seem to find yourself in situations with sexual conflict all the time ironpony? Your poor girlfriend... The best relationships meet the needs of both people. Perhaps someday you will understand this and you will make better, more considerate, decisions. Until then, I think your girlfriend should find herself someone else to date... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 You need another girlfriend, who understands the unpredictable demands of acting. It won't just be sex scenes ... I have a buddy in a local acting troupe that has to perform love scenes ... his wife totally gets it and doesn't mind. It is not even a thing with them. You need another gf who understands acting and the psychological states that actors have to enter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 Oh okay. I asked my friends opinion on this, and he said that if he had a gf who did a rape scene in a movie, that he would dump her, so that makes me think, maybe this is a bigger issue than I thought, if he thinks that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Porn acting or regular acting aside, it's ACTING i.e. not real. If your girlfriend is giving you grief about playing make-believe, well, she's 1) not being supportive and 2) trying to project her hang-ups on to you, so you'll feel guilty so she can manipulate you emotionally and 3) she needs to accept that ALL actors have sex scenes at some point. It's part of the job. If your girlfriend doesn't support your work, she's not a good girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Then you have to make a choice: Your GF or your acting career. Not everybody can handle that aspect of dating an actor. If she can't you have to accept that. You can't make her change. It may be a point of incompatibility for you two 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 There is a reason why the Hollywood crowd can't make a marriage work more then 6 months. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Not every actor/artist will take on every role even if it potentially"advances" something in their career. BUT since you are dead set on doing whatever you can, even if it's steamy or violent sex scenes, it might be wise to find a GF that is in the industry, so she would be supporting you in what you are trying to achieve. The GF now doesn't get it. No words will make her feel any different. Breaking up with her is the only way to escape this grief she's been causing you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Tom Hanks never did a sex scene but a horse got some action. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 John Holmes is turning in his grave Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Oh okay. I asked my friends opinion on this, and he said that if he had a gf who did a rape scene in a movie, that he would dump her, so that makes me think, maybe this is a bigger issue than I thought, if he thinks that. Then your friend is dumb. As for you, it just may not work out, but I can't help but think that the fact that you have performance issues outside of very rough, dominant sex might exacerbate her concern about you acting in rape scenes. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I could never date an actor because I would t ever know if it’s all just an act. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 This is a matter of you two being totally incompatible. If your goal is to be in film and she can't take you doing sex scenes then she needs to dump you and find someone who doesn't do such scenes nor would they want to. Do her a favor and break up with her so she can find such a guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 you acting out your known fantasies and fetishes on film with other people, Known to whom? I haven't read anywhere in his writing on this thread that he is into this. Keith David---ever hear of him? Sure you have--you've heard his voice in just about anything that's being sold since 2005, video game characters and off-screen acting---and he plays the heavy a lot of times i his on-screen roles, but that doesn't' mean he goes out robbing and killing in real life. It's a job--and if it's not porn, then there's no sex involved. Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 ^Kend...it's from other posts he's made. Essentially, he has trouble performing in bed if the sex isn't rough and dominant (him domming her). There's nothing wrong with dom behavior, but potentially a woman being disappointed that it's always rough sex could be conflated with him acting in scenes of rape. Ultimately, I just don't think they're particularly compatible. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 No one wants their dad to see their daughter's boyfriend in a porn movie, that's for sure. Hard sell. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Oh okay. I asked my friends opinion on this, and he said that if he had a gf who did a rape scene in a movie, that he would dump her, so that makes me think, maybe this is a bigger issue than I thought, if he thinks that. Well, if I were to go by how many Hollywood couples met while doing love scenes and bounced from partner to partner (other than the very few successful couples, like Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, for example), I can see why the girlfriend of an actor might be insecure. It might be just acting, but I think when you are in an intimate position with a member of the opposite sex, it might be hard to turn off those feelings? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Oh, your poor girlfriend. No, there's probably nothing you can say to her that will make her unbothered by you acting out your known fantasies and fetishes on film with other people, even if there's no actual sexual contact. I second this. No one sexes my man except me, pretend or not. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 This has nothing to do with the “acting” that occurs during a sex scene, nor is it a Hollywood romance. Her upset has everything to do with the fact that there are serious problems of sexual incompatibility in her relationship and she has a partner who just. doesn’t. get. it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 ^Kend...it's from other posts he's made. Essentially, he has trouble performing in bed if the sex isn't rough and dominant (him domming her). There's nothing wrong with dom behavior, but potentially a woman being disappointed that it's always rough sex could be conflated with him acting in scenes of rape. Ultimately, I just don't think they're particularly compatible. I agree with you--clearly, they aren't a good fit for one another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted August 14, 2019 Author Share Posted August 14, 2019 ^Kend...it's from other posts he's made. Essentially, he has trouble performing in bed if the sex isn't rough and dominant (him domming her). There's nothing wrong with dom behavior, but potentially a woman being disappointed that it's always rough sex could be conflated with him acting in scenes of rape. Ultimately, I just don't think they're particularly compatible. Oh no, my bedroom problems, which I am trying to work on have nothing to do with why I chose do this acting part. I chose it as a gig to gain experience, but also to make hopefully my connections in the business, etc. Me choosing it was completely career based and had nothing do with performance problems for me in bed. Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted August 14, 2019 Share Posted August 14, 2019 Is the movie pornographic? I didn't get the impression that it was but several people in this thread seem to have interpreted that way so perhaps some clarification could help us give you a better answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts