bellagreen Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 So been seeing this person for about a month. I havenÂ’t been dating, talking to, or even setting up dates with other people. And no we havenÂ’t had any conversations about being exclusive. I did log into a dating site the other week briefly but wasnÂ’t talking to anyone or setting up dates. This person messaged me the other day claiming their friend saw me on tinder. I told them yes I did log in but havenÂ’t been dating anyone else or setting up dates, talking to others etc. Told them how much I like them and how IÂ’ve been wanting to get our intentions out in the open. They never responded to the text. I sent a message the following day asking if we could chat on the phone instead of text. Still no response. Was this person looking for an easy out? Pretty disappointed they cant communicate. I would have happily taken down my profiles once we agreed on being exclusive with each other. Not sure if there are some trust issues there. What do you all think? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 (edited) Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Why are you blaming them? Instead of scanning over the activity on your Tinder account, why didn't you "communicate" and have that conversation with them first..."Hey I like you a lot, and see this going somewhere so I will be taking down my dating profile on Tinder, etc..." It's only been a month, that isn't long enough to trust someone or truly know someone, so I can see why they bailed. They have heard it all before, and didn't want to get caught up in it again. To add, it's the fact you went on there to "look" and not take down your profile. Yaya I get it you are not exclusive, but people expect some show of exclusivity. Edited August 8, 2019 by smackie9 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 (edited) I would lean toward over-reaction. But some people can't handle the idea that they might have to compete. Some want exclusivity before exclusivity. I don't think it should be expected, but some do. I'm in a singles group that has 4,500 members and I've been in a lot of face-to-face conversations with people on this subject and people are pretty messed up. On one hand they don't want you to get too serious too fast, yet at the same time don't want to accept the idea that they and the other person are free to see other people until they are "serious". They want you to stack the deck in their favor so they don't have to deal with competition because in their low view of themselves they think that if they had competition they would always lose. Myself, I try to make it a point to not date anyone if they are using Online Dating (I do from time to time, but go into it not expecting much). It is the kid in a candy store thing,...almost every day an exciting new profile is going to pop up that looks just a little bit better then who they are currently seeing (no matter if exclusive or not) and so they jump to the next one, then the next one, then the next one. They would be very unreliable people to date. I would recommend staying away from Online Dating just for that reason alone. Edited August 8, 2019 by PRW Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 So been seeing this person for about a month. I havenÂ’t been dating, talking to, or even setting up dates with other people. And no we havenÂ’t had any conversations about being exclusive. I did log into a dating site the other week briefly but wasnÂ’t talking to anyone or setting up dates. This person messaged me the other day claiming their friend saw me on tinder. I told them yes I did log in but havenÂ’t been dating anyone else or setting up dates, talking to others etc. Told them how much I like them and how IÂ’ve been wanting to get our intentions out in the open. They never responded to the text. I sent a message the following day asking if we could chat on the phone instead of text. Still no response. Was this person looking for an easy out? Pretty disappointed they cant communicate. I would have happily taken down my profiles once we agreed on being exclusive with each other. Not sure if there are some trust issues there. What do you all think? Perhaps---how often have you been in his presence? Well, I think it all depends upon what you said to him and what you led him to believe about your intentions before his friend found you on active Tinder. Before you logged out of Tinder, did you deactivate it? If you had told him before his friend found you on Tinder, I don't think he would have set you adrift... it could have been other things too and his boy bringing him this was all the justification he needed to cut that cord. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellagreen Posted August 8, 2019 Author Share Posted August 8, 2019 (edited) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Edited August 8, 2019 by bellagreen Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 Since you asked for a chance to talk & that wasn't forthcoming all you can do is walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 Hi bellagreen, after dating someone for a month, you were seen using an app which is used to find dates. This gives the appearance that you were searching for someone new to date. I am not surprised that the person you were dating has cut off communication. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Inspire Posted August 9, 2019 Share Posted August 9, 2019 If you two had slept together that could rub "some" the wrong way. Either way, I can see it from both perspectives. It seems like it was a bit of an overreaction on her part, but then again we don't know the kinds of conversations you've had, her past and her overall perspective on OLD. If she doesn't respond, well there isn't a whole lot you can do about it but to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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