French kiss then ghost?

[thebiglimp]

Met a woman online- 1st date brief, 2nd date 7hrs which ended up us making out/groping/french kissing on the beach. We were vague about setting up the next date so i flat out said i want to see her again and as a response she just grabbed me and kissed me hard.

 

I took this as a strong yes.

 

However on the follow up text she says she's too busy to meet me in the immediate future, and that she's not ready for a relationship- which she told me in person even before we started kissing.

 

Ok, so she is career oriented and busy, that much is certain.

 

And I already asked her out twice and got a no, like so:

-are you busy this weekend?

yes, trip overseas

-can i try asking you next week and the week after?

i am being realistic, i won't have time in the immediate future because of my schedule

 

Ok, being sensible I should write this off but I never had someone disappear on me after all that kissing.

 

So what do you think is going on and how should I approach this?

 

I'm thinking just a light text a week from now, along with asking her out that weekend, and then probably drop it completely.

[schlumpy]

If she won't tell you, I don't know how you can find out unless one of her friends lets it slip.

 

Maybe you didn't pass her rigorous kiss test?

 

Seal it up in an envelope and drop it in the mysteries of life drawer.

[ExpatInItaly]

It could be anything, OP. Maybe an ex came back, maybe she’s more interested in another guy, perhaps she was only after one night of fun.

 

One thing is definitely ISN’T is interested in seeing you again. A “light text” isn’t going to change that, and honestly, will probably annoy her. She has been clear that it’s not going to happen.

 

Sorry, man. I know it sucks but you would be wise to drop this one.

[elaine567]

However on the follow up text she says she's too busy to meet me in the immediate future, and that she's not ready for a relationship- which she told me in person even before we started kissing.

 

"Too busy", followed up by "I am not ready for a relationship" = not interested.

Sorry!

 

I guess she got caught up in the moment, went home thought it through, came up with a no.

 

Not ready for a relationship usually means an ex and and ex still so far ingrained that trying to fight him for her attention, is a waste of your time.

[Maggiemay1]

She is uncomfortable rejecting someone in person?

She kissed you instead?

Didn’t mean anything to her , it was just an easy way out.

 

And she comfortably rejected you by text.

 

I’m pretty sure that’s all it is about.

 

But it doesn’t really matter, you know she doesn’t want to hang out again.

So leave it at that.

The reason doesn’t matter and is nothing personal to you , but her only.

[beentheredonethat77]

I think she pulled you in for a kiss instead of answering you question -- the perfect distraction lol.

 

Making out is fun, she figured she'd enjoy a make out session but i'd say in the back of her mind she knew it wasn't going to go any further, otherwise she would have answered 'yes!' / of course.. / sure' when you asked to see her again.

 

It was probably something you said in the conversation that turned her off - or some aspect of how you live your life. Maybe she thinks you lack ambition or something that doesn't fit with her ideals.. could be anything.. BUT

 

The good news is though, she found you physically attractive enough to make out with;-) -- So move on from her and find someone whose a better fit in the other areas.

[smackie9]

Maybe her BF was being a d-bag so she went out and found some attention to make her feel better.

[preraph]

Yeah, she's not dating. She has someone or is focused on someone. It's probably not going well for her and she was glad to have someone thinking she's attractive for a day.

[d0nnivain]

You mistakenly believed the kissing meant something more then a physical feel good in the moment. It didn't.

 

She TOLD you that she didn't want a relationship. You do. You two are not on the same page.

 

Be sensible about this. Next. Sorry.

[Michelle ma Belle]

She's just not interested. It doesn't get any clearer than this. Take a hint and move on hun. Sh*t happens.

[preraph]

To be fair, it is easy to see why there is bafflement since she's saying one thing and doing another, and of course, we always say actions speak louder than words. Still she did say something and now has followed up with actions. She stole a kiss in between and played with someone.

[The Outlaw]

I wouldn't even ask her out a third time. If she's flaking on you like that, she probably wasn't as interested as she thought she was. If she were, she'd make the time for you. I know it sucks, but it's best to just move on.

[shydad]

So what do you think is going on and how should I approach this?

Hi thebiglimp, you might ask her if she wants to see you when she returns from her trip. If she says no or ignores you, you have your answer. If she says yes, ask when she will return, and then follow up after that. Keep in mind, though, that she said she doesn't want a relationship, so it's unclear where this is going (or why she was dating you to begin with).

[Inspire]

Were you ok with just something casual? It might be that she sensed you wanted something more and right now for whatever reason she was not looking for something serious.

 

 

 

I'd give it a few weeks and reach out but don't ask her out right away and see what happens.

[Flame Aura]

One thing I have learnt over the years is a kiss is NOT an indication of long-term potential. A lot of women will happily kiss someone for a variety of reasons, not just because they think it will develop into something serious.

[basil67]

Following on from Flame's comment, I had to learn the same about men. The fact he kissed me passionately doesn't mean that he's interested in me.