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Getting blocked for "no reason"


nychic009

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Wanted to get some insight on a very weird and bizarre situation. I went out with a guy a month ago and we really hit it off. We went on maybe 5 dates in two weeks. Really intense emotional connection. I had to travel for 10 days after our 5th date and we met the day before I left.

 

 

During my trip he msged me throughout the day, every day. I got really REALLY sick during this trip and came back a few days early. I sent this guy pictures of antibiotics bc I didn't want him to think I'm a flake and I knew he'd want to see me. The day after I got back he wanted to come by with soup, I said no bc I literally could not talk/lost my voice. He continued to keep in touch with me during the week, wanting to meet up etc. Remembered my birthday, interview, all these important dates and asked about them and checked in etc. When I finally got better a few days later, we made plans to meet up on Sunday.

 

 

Fast forward, this past weekend, the first weekend I am back, we both happen to be in Long Island where our families have homes. There aren't too many places to go out there and he had told me he'd be at a certain club. Since he didn't invite me I made my own plans, figuring we'd meet on Sunday anyway. My girlfriends wanted to go to the club he was at after dinner and I msged him saying I may stop by later (there are only 2 places to go out in town so it's not like I was stalking him). Later on, my girlfriends decided to go to a house party hosted by a guy one of the girls is dating. Apparently, he's a celebrity-type. I got to the house party and invited my guy. I told him we were at X's house with his friends and my girlfriends insisted on coming here. We both had a bit to drink and he indirectly told me he wanted to see me. But it was indirect and I just didn't get the message that he really wanted me to come by the club. I figured since I wasn't invited anyway, he was there with a bunch of dudes, and I was still sick/not myself and I'd see him for a one on one on Sunday, we'd just keep our original plan.

 

 

Next morning Sat, I check our convo and see that he was kinda salty about me choosing to stay at my friends houseparty (despite that I invited him and he told me he wanted to stay at the club, and he never included me in his plans anyway that evening). The last thing he said was "because of your friends, we have very different plans for tonight".

 

I end up apologizing saying that I had wanted to see him, but it seemed he wanted to do his own thing at the club, and when my friends changed plans I went along with it. He replied saying it's all good.

 

 

Then all day Sat he gives me the cold shoulder/we didn't talk. Sunday, I follow up on our date. We make plans, joke around, everything is normal. Then BAM! 2 hours later I go to respond to a msg he had sent earlier and find out I am blocked on every social media platform. I text him why he blocked me and as I was doing so he blocked me number as well.

 

Any idea for why he'd do this? I can only think of 3 things and none of them except #4 checks out?

 

1) He was still mad about Friday and couldn't get over that I didn't see him, despite us not making plans, and having a solid date night planned Sunday. But if he was mad about me being unavailable why would be block me before our Sunday date?

 

2) He met someone else on Sat, after Fri's clubbing situation, and on Sun just decided to end it with me by blocking me. Which also is weird bc I know he was super into me, and you don't block someone you like even if you hooked up with someone else.

 

3) He somehow lost respect for me bc I chose to stay with my friends over meeting with him last minute? Which is weird bc the concept of respect or lack there of is a mature thing to know/think about, and someone who blocks on a whim, usually isn't capable of that.

 

4) He is emotionally unstable and has a mental illness.

 

I'm absolutely baffled. We have mutual friends in common and I've met his best friends. I know he's not married or have another girlfriend. I get that ghosting and blocking may be the new normal now, but why bother begging to see me Friday, making plans on Sunday, just to block right after?

 

Anyone have any ideas on this bizarre situation?

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Beendaredonedat

If he blocked you for any of the reasons you have 'guessed' then he's not worth being with and he was never really as into you as you were him.

 

No one who is smitten with you would block you and ghost you on a planned date if they were really into you. What he did is the actions of a control freak, a player who is trying to get you to be jonesing for him or someone who doesn't care if his action cause you to hitch up your self-worth and block him so he can't hoover you back in for more of his drama.

 

Block him back and accept the situation for what it is... A going no where situ with a d-bag. Thank your lucky stars he showed you who he is before you really put your heart on your sleeve for him.

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He may have thought you were flaking too much and he hit his limit.

 

AT the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what he thinks if this is the outcome of his thought process--instead of opening his mouth and telling you he was hurt that you've been avoiding him since you left for vacation, he instead used the one method that will not only get your attention, but force you to keep your opinions to yourself.

 

I also was struck by the comment you made where you took pictures of your medication so he wouldn't think you were flaking on him. Why would he think that if you sounded near death if you'd had a conversation with him? To me, that's doing too much to manage someone else's perception and I'm wondering why you're doing that?

 

Bait the hook and drop it back in the water.

Edited by kendahke
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Versacehottie

He sounds like he's very emo with a huge chip on his shoulder. I think he interpreted you as being flakey with him and lashed out because he was presuming you were going to drop him or had dissed him in some way. IMO, you hadn't but mine doesn't matter, all that does is his perception of what is going on. So I think he's OVERLY sensitive. This is the most likely scenario.

 

The other is that he has things/recents things going on with another girl and doesn't want you to find out about each other, and again is OVERLY sensitive. I think even if he has something going on with another girl she was second to you or it just heated up while you've been gone/sick and he is again presuming that your attention to your sickness & friends is disinterest in him. Ugh.

 

I think it's a happy accident. You don't need a guy like this in your life. Imagine if there was a real problem or difference of opinion. His ego is very fragile. I also think he lashes out, i.e. the blocking, and thinks he will be able to fix with you (or other girls) when he does this behavior later. He may have gotten away with it with other girls but his actions already show that he does hold you in high regard and like you have options, which i'm guessing you do. If...ok when...he gets back in touch, I would just leave it alone. He's not worth it.

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I wonder if this whole mess could have been avoided by clear conversation on both your parts.

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He sounds like he's very emo with a huge chip on his shoulder. I think he interpreted you as being flakey with him and lashed out because he was presuming you were going to drop him or had dissed him in some way. IMO, you hadn't but mine doesn't matter, all that does is his perception of what is going on. So I think he's OVERLY sensitive. This is the most likely scenario.....

 

Now I think he really was just that pissed I ditched him on Friday after coming back from vacation and not seeing him right away.

 

On Sunday when we were joking around earlier that day he had talked about how he went to this club on Sat night until 4am. It was a club we had gone to right before I left, and so I made a joke " who's your date" . He said "no, just with friends". I didn't reply until 3 hours later bc I was running around and that's when I noticed he blocked me. IF he was pissed bc I ditched him on Friday and then this joke made him feel like a pushover even more, maybe that's why he blocked me?

 

If this is an emotional response to lash out at me, and teach me a lesson, he should unblock me right? Plus, I can't even send him an apology if I wanted to since he prob. blocked me on all platforms.

 

Also, funny enough not sure why - he made his insta profile public today and has been posting stories. Not sure if he's trying to test and see if I'd view his stories after being blocked.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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He may have thought you were flaking too much and he hit his limit.....

 

 

I didn't talk with him on the phone - we were just texting. I literally got my voice back 2 days ago. I sent him pics of meds in convo when I told him I was recovering. I didn't want him to think I'm lying bc people do use the sick excuse a lot when dating.

 

I have never been blocked so this is totally shocking. I have blocked 2 bfs before when I was 21/22 both times to lash out bc. I was hurt, angry, and wanted attention/get revenge. But since then I've definitely matured and would never do that to anyone.

 

I have to add that I did do something crazy right after he blocked me. I didn't realize it was crazy at the time but we have a mutual friend (his best guy friend) in common who I gelled with - he had asked me for my # bc I was cool. I asked him to ask David why I'm blocked bc it's really out of nowhere. No reply obviously. In hindsight I obviously shouldn't have done that. He'll probably label me as a crazy girl now.

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He got angry I suspect that you were sick all week but still ended up out partying on the saturday and avoided him ,

 

that may not be the case- but that is the way he is interpreting it,

 

you are around early 20s I am guessing, guys that age only see things in terms of their own bubbles and can be immature,

 

or they think they are more important than they really are - and that it is being macho to cut you off,

 

I dont think your liaison could really last anyway, if this is how he reacted this time, it does not auger well for any future "misunderstandings"

 

better off without.

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@Foxhall...

 

 

We are both ~30 actually. But men around that age aren't exactly super mature either.

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He blocked you? Sounds to me like you have missed a Bullet. It's time for him to grow up. If he had an issue, a mobile was invented for just that. Too much drama over something so small!

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In this dating age, you can get blocked for little or no reason. Some people just lack the backbone to tell you they don't feel it's going to work anymore. And I'm not condoning it, but blocking/ghosting (but selfish) is just the easiest way to get out of it. It sucks, but you didn't lose anything.

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I didn't talk with him on the phone - we were just texting. I literally got my voice back 2 days ago. I sent him pics of meds in convo when I told him I was recovering. I didn't want him to think I'm lying bc people do use the sick excuse a lot when dating.

 

If he is predisposed to believe you to be a liar, then really, you're better off not even dealing with this kind of mindset.

 

I have never been blocked so this is totally shocking. I have blocked 2 bfs before when I was 21/22 both times to lash out bc. I was hurt, angry, and wanted attention/get revenge. But since then I've definitely matured and would never do that to anyone.

 

it's a good sign that you know how he feels because you've done this yourself. His lessons are to be learned on his timetable, not yours...

 

I have to add that I did do something crazy right after he blocked me. I didn't realize it was crazy at the time but we have a mutual friend (his best guy friend) in common who I gelled with - he had asked me for my # bc I was cool. I asked him to ask David why I'm blocked bc it's really out of nowhere. No reply obviously. In hindsight I obviously shouldn't have done that. He'll probably label me as a crazy girl now.

 

Oooh, bad form.

 

Well, consider it a learning experience. Keep as many people out of your business as possible, especially when it's someone you've only known a month.

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Blocking is childish. It is a child covering his ears, but he wants you to see him do that because he wants a reaction out of you. And you did react. So anyway, you both move on and feel not too good about the whole thing. Oh well... what can you do?

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Blocking is childish. It is a child covering his ears, but he wants you to see him do that because he wants a reaction out of you. And you did react. So anyway, you both move on and feel not too good about the whole thing. Oh well... what can you do?

 

 

I reacted like a logical person would.. asked him why he blocked me. His friend too, which I shouldn't of, but I didn't say anything besides ask why he blocked me out of nowhere. I didn't react irrationally or act emotionally.

 

He could have muted me so he doesn't see my posts or stories or unfollowed me. It's weird that he chose to BLOCK me, which is extreme. He's always the one msging me, it's not like I annoy him. So bizarre why he'd pretend like nothing was wrong all Sunday, making plans as normal when he was holding in this resentment.

 

Hopefully he will unblock me eventually.

Edited by nychic009
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Hmmmm......after all that has been written, do you really hope he'll unblock you eventually? Surely you can do better than this.

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He sounds like a spoiled child.

Seems to be so many brats out there these days , all playing with the, in their minds, God all powerful block buttons, like little babies.

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Versacehottie

Yeah, i think the most likely thing is he was pissed and insecure about it/you.

 

I wouldn't worry about him unblocking you. He stood you up and he knows you know you were blocked for a time--the most important time when you DEFINITELY would be trying to be in touch because you'd just been talking and had plans. No apology necessary. Listen, he didn't behave well--why would you reward that with an apology?

 

Do I think his IG is public today so he can see if you are checking his stories? why yes! Or if you are having a friend look at them for you. More stupidity from his end. And not exactly manly.

 

So here's a couple of things you could have done differently though:

 

a) you shouldn't have said "who is your date". To be fair, even when you are saying that in jest, you are testing a person, looking for reassurance. While I think this guy's main reason for the things he's done is that he is emo, a lot of guys, including possibly him, wouldn't react well to this kind of thing. They can see through it and it conveys a test, jealousy, possessiveness, neediness--even if you aren't those things. And are just curious and looking for a way to ask which friends he is with. Idk, with a million combos in the english language, I probably would have picked anything but that question :) It also could have heightened everything that was going on with him (not that you are responsible for his emotions but still).

 

b) I also don't think you should have used a friend as an intermediary. Because number one, that guy might like you--did I read through the lines correctly there? number two, it's grade school type stuff and drama. Both of you have done some immature things in this and that usually doesn't contribute to a good outcome--involving anyone else besides just the two of you, no matter how neutrally you stated the question is immature. Lastly, a lot of the time intermediaries, mess things up even if they are well meaning and sometimes they have opinions and don't take the info back neutrally. Just think of the regret you would feel if the thing that messes it up is however this guy takes some message to your guy--that's why you don't get people to do your conversations for you. If your guy's blocked you or won't talk to you, it's obvious that any conversation like that needs to wait until he's ready to talk or not happen at all.

 

I like a lot of the others can't see why you would want to talk to him anymore.

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I reacted like a logical person would.. asked him why he blocked me. His friend too, which I shouldn't of, but I didn't say anything besides ask why he blocked me out of nowhere. I didn't react irrationally or act emotionally.

 

I wasn't trying to say you did anything wrong to have a reaction. I said he wanted a reaction and he got one. But you regret something about what you did (i didn't read that part thoroughly). It's not important. He messed with your mind and made you defensive.

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ExpatInItaly
Hopefully he will unblock me eventually.

 

May I ask why you hope he will unblock you?

 

I wouldn't bother with him anymore. He can't communicate like an adult. Whether he's pissed off at you or has another woman on the go he tried to hide you from, it's not worth your time.

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Thanks so much. Yeah I do think his friend liked me. We had dinner all three of us together and he was putting down my guy/making fun of him while flirting with me. Then when I showed him a funny pic he grabbed my phone to send the pic to his phone, which obv sent him my number. All while my date was there. Then casually asked in front of my date that we should hang out alone and make fun of him. It was a little weird at the time bc I thought it was low key disrespectful to my guy but I figured maybe they were just best friends and trust each other. In any case he didn’t reply.

 

I’m trying to move on. It’s actually easier to move on when blocked bc I literally have no other option. I want him to unblock me bc even if we don’t date I’d feel better to talk it out. I hope he feels just as bad as I do about this whole thing and find that blocking doesn’t make things feel better.

Edited by nychic009
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Hopefully he will unblock me eventually.

 

Why? You aren't thinking of taking him back after this are you?

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Thanks so much. Yeah I do think his friend liked me. We had dinner all three of us together and he was putting down my guy/making fun of him while flirting with me. Then when I showed him a funny pic he grabbed my phone to send the pic to his phone, which obv sent him my number. All while my date was there. Then casually asked in front of my date that we should hang out alone and make fun of him. It was a little weird at the time bc I thought it was low key disrespectful to my guy but I figured maybe they were just best friends and trust each other. In any case he didn’t reply.

 

Wow, this is weird. Do you think he's passing you on to his friend. Some guys are like "it ain't no fun if my hommies can't have none".

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Why? You aren't thinking of taking him back after this are you?

Probably not, but I’d like to tell him how his actions were immature and selfish. It’ll make me feel better to talk it out and tell him off.

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Wow, this is weird. Do you think he's passing you on to his friend. Some guys are like "it ain't no fun if my hommies can't have none".

 

Lol def not. After he dinner he wouldn’t not leave my side cuz he was worried i think what his friend would do. . It was like his friend was the aggressive one and my guy a beta. which I guess isn’t surprising given the blocking thing.

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