imstillturningout Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 So I’m 25, and I have dated very few people, only seriously dated one, which led to an engagement that I broke off because I didn’t feel ready and wasn’t sure I really loved him that way. It’s been five years since then, and I only went on a few dates with one guy. In short, I have very little experience dating. I’m not sure if I’ll ever really love someone and I’ve got major self-esteem issues, and maybe that’s why I put walls up, but there it is. Anyways, I’ve only kissed twice, basically just a peck on the lips. Recently, I’ve started to reconsider whether I want a relationship, so I met a guy online, chatted for a couple weeks, and went on a date. Nice, funny, smart guy. Better than I expected, but there wasn’t a strong connection. We were watching a movie, and he cuddled closer and closer until we were suddenly kissing. And I have no right to call it making out because there wasn’t tongue and I had no idea what I was doing, but it was the most physical I’ve ever been. I didn’t like it. Not because I was upset but I honestly think I just don’t like kissing. I’ve had three experiences now and they’ve all been boring and gross. His leg came between mine at one point, and I liked that a lot more than the kissing. Anyways, I did it solely because I don’t have experience and I figured why not get some practice in so I’m better at it? He’s probably going to expect more on a second date, but that’s on me because I was encouraging the whole time (if he even contacts me, since I was probably a little too loose). I’m more worried that I’ll let things go too far eventually, end up having sex, and regret it, all because I’m curious and damn horny. I don’t even know how to tldr this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 For kissing to be enjoyable, we need to have chemistry with a partner. If you were just kissing for the sake of practice, then it doesn't sound like there was chemistry and therefore, it wouldn't have been great. How is it that you were engaged previously but have only previously had two pecking kisses? Link to post Share on other sites
Author imstillturningout Posted May 11, 2019 Author Share Posted May 11, 2019 (edited) For kissing to be enjoyable, we need to have chemistry with a partner. If you were just kissing for the sake of practice, then it doesn't sound like there was chemistry and therefore, it wouldn't have been great. Oh. I guess I’ve just never been with anyone I’ve felt chemistry with? I still don’t get it. It’s just mashing your faces together. How is it that you were engaged previously but have only previously had two pecking kisses? I live in a place where it’s normal to get engaged after four months of knowing someone. And kissing him didn’t appeal to me that much. If it’s a lack of chemistry, that’d help explain why something felt off about our relationship. Guess that means I need to meet more people? And you have to kiss them to find out if you have chemistry? And then if you don’t, it’s just, well maybe it’ll be the 108th guy. Ugh. No wonder people complain about dating. Thank you for your insight. Edited May 11, 2019 by imstillturningout Link to post Share on other sites
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