Kndmil01 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 My friend who has become very distant .... I called him a few weeks ago he answered told me he was going to call me back but didn’t .... yes I did decide to stop seeing him bc we wanted different things from the relationship... I wanted to remain platonic friends.... but he has been very distant..... I asked him via text did he want to be friends he said yea.... then I said I didn’t believe him do you want be friends he said we good..... so a few days ago he text me and text said you need to fix your right tail light and rear light..... I was shocked no hi hey or how are you....so I said ok thanks..... I am so tired of his bread crumbs I just unfriended him on Facebook and now I am deleting my Facebook all together..... why bother text if you can’t even say Hi...... so people would say he doesn’t care.. others would be does that’s why he texted to let you know Link to post Share on other sites
mightybop Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Sometimes it's hard for people to remain friends after a relationship, even if they say they want to. Yes it would have been nicer to first say "Hi how are you?", then mentioned the tail light, but I don't see it as a big deal. See how it goes, if he keeps contacting you or not, what he says, if and how he responds to your texts. You should know pretty soon if he really wants to remain friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kndmil01 Posted March 21, 2019 Author Share Posted March 21, 2019 me and my friend have been estranged for several months now and haven’t spoken since 2 months ago. We stop talking ... I broke things off because we wanted different things. He appeared to be mad about... but long story short he said about 1 month ago we were good when I asked via text. So last week I was having car problems and my current man who is and was in the picture all this time was an ass didn’t want to help me fix it.... so I reached out to him (strictly professional) . He said bring the car . I dropped it off. The next day he called and said that the part I need would be expensive and he will sent the price... now we haven’t talked in like 3 months so it was a little weird ..... he didn’t ask how I was doing ... he didn’t even say hi..... so he didn’t send the price.... so next day I called and said you didn’t send me the price for the part he said oh ok I will send. So he send pic with no price and I said there is no price so then he says it’s 100 on eBay ... so I said ok how much are you charging to fix he said 175... I said ok I will give you money this afternoon to order part. He said ok. Now several hours later he called and said your car is ready. What? Just bring the 175.... I felt like he was playing games... so I come to give him money and get my key. I was not going to get off of car... not a social call... so he came to car gave him the money and then I was looking for my key. But he wanted me to get out of car to listen to car... for what I trust he fixed it ... so I got out and then he makes a comment like oh I gotta find this girl key I drove the car up hear ... He could have kept that to himself is He trying to make me jealous?? Also 2 caps off my car was missing and I said probably my current man took them off and forgot to put them back home... so he takes a dig at him and say well common sense would be to put the things in the trunk. But everybody don’t have common sense you know.. I didn’t say anything but I am thinking is he still in his feelings why come for him like that it wasn’t necessary. So what do you think sorry so long Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 I think you need to find a different mechanic. You have a new BF. Out respect for him, why even think about what this friend may or may not think? He's your past. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldgreen Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 we wanted different things. He appeared to be mad about... Resentment is part of that process sometimes. Best leave him to it. he said about 1 month ago we were good when I asked via text. He lied. I was having car problems and my current man who is and was in the picture all this time was an ass didn’t want to help me fix it.... so I reached out to him (strictly professional) . I get that it's his job, but you rubbed salt into the wound by showing him your chosen man was incompetent and yet you still chose him. That's how your friend sees it at least. He said bring the car . I dropped it off. The next day he called and said that the part I need would be expensive and he will sent the price... now we haven’t talked in like 3 months so it was a little weird He might have tried to maintain professional distance, but the rest of this story is coloured by the fact that you should have taken it to someone else. ..... he didn’t ask how I was doing ... he didn’t even say hi..... See my second point. I said probably my current man took them off and forgot to put them back home... so he takes a dig at him and say well common sense would be to put the things in the trunk. See my third point. This was a bad idea all round. The dude doesn't want to be your friend and never will be again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kndmil01 Posted March 22, 2019 Author Share Posted March 22, 2019 So you think he will not be my friend again?? It seem like he was being very nice to me. I pulled up and was going to stay in the car.... so he walked to the car. And I gave him the money and he gave me the key .... then he was like oh I gotta find this girl key I drove it up here.... let me make sure I didn’t leave it in your car. Then he wanted me to get out to listen how the car sounds ....which I don’t need to I trust he fixed the car...... he is a good mechanic. It just seems to me like he wanted to make me jealous by saying what he said about the girl car....bc all of that was not needed. Most people would just left me see if I leave the key in the car . He seemed so proud that he fixed it and like I say insulted my current man Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldgreen Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 I pulled up and was going to stay in the car.... so he walked to the car. And I gave him the money and he gave me the key .... then he was like oh I gotta find this girl key I drove it up here.... let me make sure I didn’t leave it in your car. Then he wanted me to get out to listen how the car sounds ....which I don’t need to I trust he fixed the car...... he is a good mechanic. That's just good service. The customers before and after you got the same treatment, I'm sure. like I say insulted my current man And like I said, he's not past it. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 There's nothing here to indicate that he still has feelings for you. And nothing to indicate that he wants to be particularly friendly. About your current boyfriend...you said he's an ass for not wanting to help you fix it. Is he skilled in auto mechanics and have all the right tools? I can't help but suspect you're being too harsh on him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 I think you are kind of using your "friendship" with this guy for special favors. In a way using him because you know he likes you. If you have respect for the fact that you can't give him what he wants (a relationship, a chance with you) because you have a boyfriend and are not interested in him like that, you shouldn't use him as a mechanic and ask for him to "fill in" when your boyfriend doesn't come through for you, which is effectively leaning on him like a boyfriend or romantic interest. I don't flirt with my mechanics or text them in order to get my car fixed (well, maybe a little in person but yeah they are basically professional help and i treat them that way)--I call the business and set up an appt on the books. Not a special favor. That's what you should do with a new mechanic and stop playing games with this guy for your benefit. IMO, you wade into the drama of mixing with someone you rebuffed in order to get a deal or help with a personal problem like your car issues, well then you are playing with fire and bound to embroil yourself in a some drama back. I don't think he was that wrong (immature perhaps) to take a dig at your bf after all you went to him because your bf wouldn't step up. Is he supposed to pretend like your bf is some prince? Especially while he knows at the back of his mind he is being used. Stop playing with him. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 Sounds like you want him to happily be your orbiter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Inspire Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 I agree, his comment was unecessary but that's not really a shocker; it was out of bitterness. I didn't see anything in what you said that that would indicate that he wants to reconcile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kndmil01 Posted March 29, 2019 Author Share Posted March 29, 2019 ex texted me recently asking about a house my mom has that is vacant. He asked me hey what is your mom doing with the house I really need to rent or buy. I said she is not selling she is mostly likely will be ready to rent it out in a few months. I asked how much are you looking to pay. He said 1200 . I asked how many people will be living there. He said me and you not F$$$ing again so why does it matter . I was taken back with his response... and where did that come from.that’s a normal question how many people I didn’t ask him who. So I said if you not honest with I cannot help you. So he said him and his girl, I said you got some real balls to ask me to rent house out to you and girl. He said you got a man so what r u talk about balls I am moving on with my life I don’t have time for your games that’s why I moved on.... then I said I was not playing games and you were playing with me and screwing other people...now I am really confused how you think I am going to do you a favor with saying such harsh things to me. Our break up was a few months ago. I said it will be 1400 he said he can’t afford that . He got 1200.... and he was not screwing other people.so to end this ridiculous conversation that went on for 24 hours. Plus the next day. Via text . I said when she ready to rent I will let u know and let her know what u can pay... then he says I will work it off. I said how he said I will fix your car and your man car... Reallly.... he know my man don’t want him fixing my car let alone his. I knew it was BS then...... I am so confused by this conversation. I feel he still sour about the break up... plus I feel he actually miss me or wants me back in his life and doesn’t know how to say it....... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 You should not even be having this type of conversation with an ex, particularly when you have a new boyfriend. Where are your boundaries? Having your mom rent to him is a terrible idea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 What a waste of time of an argument. If you could stand him living there, you should have referred it to your mother to deal with. Or if you couldn't stand him living there, you should have simply said it is unavailable. Link to post Share on other sites
Senorheartbreak Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Yeah i agree with the above. Theres no need to even have this conversation. You sound like you are grasping too. Just ignore him/block him. He sounds bitter and you are in a new relationship. Focus on your man. If he really wants to rent he can contact your mum or find another place. Its not your concern any more. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 I'm trying to understand how a question about renting a house went on for 24 hours. You should have directed his call to your mother since it's her house to rent not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Sounds like Jerry Springer material. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Just tell you mom, Do NOT rent this to my ex. He has no money. End that little scheme right now. Yes, he's trying to maintain contact some way, probably to spy on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kndmil01 Posted May 10, 2019 Author Share Posted May 10, 2019 Why does a guy continue to disrespect you. If you have already addressed that with them. Me and my friend I guess stop talking 10 months ago. See we both wanted different things . I wanted relationship and he wanted to continue doing what we were doing. Plus he said relationship would not work because we both would be wondering what each other is doing .( because we both currently still Live with our significant other but relationships are really over). So I cut it off and ever since then he has been disrespectful and rude. For example the other day he did work on my car. I paid him and kept it professional. But he said I was short I said how much he said a lot . Would not give me a price. So then he said where a skirt and come see me. I was like what? But he has been disrespectful like that for the past 10 months and as he can see it has gotten him no where. I would think he would change is approach. Nope..... I thought he was mad bc of the break up and he thought it was due to another man or getting back with my current situation. I don’t know ... he is the type of guy who doesn’t say how he feels or thinks. He just expresses it through his behavior ........ what should I do.??? What do you think??? He never really was like that when we were talking Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 What should you do? Go no contact and find a new mechanic. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Yeah. I don't see why on earth you would use him as your mechanic. First of all, you can't trust him and he's hostile to you and treating you like a prostitute, so good luck with your car. You're putting yourself in this situation, and I have to say it's very illogical. He is hostile. He probably hopes your car breaks down. He is treating you like a prostitute. No good can come of this. Put him behind you. Come on. How CAN he respect you when you do things like this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Its not rocket science, just remove them from your life. If someone is a d-bag, its usually pretty ingrained, they will not get better just because you told them to and they acted sorry about it for a little while. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 He's mad because you cut him off. He won't give you what you want, and you won't give him what he wants...so cut ties and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Find someone else to work on your car. Seriously. It doesn't matter why he does what he does. You can't control that. You can't fix him. You can fix you and where you bring your car to be fixed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 This would probably make a lot more sense to people if you put it with your other threads that are about the same subject. In that context you will probably get the most valuable answers: which if i'm remembering correctly were basically that you should find a new mechanic and stop playing both sides of the fence. You each are playing with each other and are each responsible for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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