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should you date a girl in her "ONS phase"?


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girl i knew seemed extremely sweet and wonderful. She's been craving a lot of attention on social media and irl too and just at that phase where she seems to want no strings attached

 

also what are some ways to identity this phase.

By no means am i trying to categorize every women. I understand men go through the same phase as "ONS bois" or some other names. Just out here being cautious

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salparadise

You identify it by the attention-seeking and casually-promiscuous behavior. What you don't know is whether it's a phase or if that's just who she is.

 

No, don't date –– hit and quit. That's what she will do, and if you catch feelings she'll make you absolutely miserable. I don't think there is anything worse than being obsessed with a woman who is compelled to behave that way. Thinking you can reel her in and make a sweetheart out of her? Better stock up on pain medication.

 

I think the attention-seeking is probably the more revealing predilection. A healthy, well-balanced person could be exploring her sexuality... but if there is a compulsion, driven by need for validation through sexualized attention-seeking, well, that's probably a fundamental personality feature.

 

My advice... if you want a girlfriend, go for someone who looks and acts like a girlfriend.

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Someone can be attention seeking without being promiscuous. Don't confuse the two.

 

Also if someone doesn't seek attention, how is the world supposed to know that person is available? You actually have to be flirty when you are on the prowl.

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IF she is going through a ONS phase and she has actually had sex with a series of men... My answer would be no - for one simple reason. I have absolutely no interest in being exposed to whatever STDs she has been exposed to from her previous partners.

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If she is only offering you NSA sex, then believe her.

Do not try to twist this into thinking she really wants a relationship with you.

Girls who truly want a relationship, tend not to go about offering NSA sex.

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OatsAndHall

You wouldn't be dating her... You'd just be sleeping with her. So, the answer is "no" just by the dynamic she's established.

 

 

 

I went on one date with a woman who stated initially that she was looking for a committed relationship but changed her tune to wanting a "monogamous physical relationship". I was looking to date someone seriously so I tapped out. But I still wouldn't have continued to see her if I were inclined to have FWB because I didn't know her well enough to be sure it was going to be "monogamous".

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emeraldgreen

ONS isn't a phase. It's just that their options dry up and they settle for one of them.

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ONS isn't a phase. It's just that their options dry up and they settle for one of them.

 

Or they have plenty of options but want to try them all.

 

@Chillii, ONS is One Night Stand

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Just know l'm gonna feel silly later asking this , but wtf is an ONS ?

 

A One Night Stand

 

I think it depends on why the person in question is having ONSs

 

In college I had several one & done dates but that was a function of the fact that I felt like a kid in a candy store. I was the nerdy smart girl all through HS. In college everybody else was smart too so it wasn't a handicap &there were all these new people. I went from a HS with 400 kids to the 3rd largest university in the world. A whole new world opened & I wanted to explore it all. I called it one & done dates because I wasn't sexually active but my idea of a double date was going on 2 different dates in the same day with 2 different boys. I had a blast but wanted nothing to do with being tied down. I loved the thrill of the chase. In that sense I was not a good prospect as a GF. I think my longest "relationship" was 6 months but I had a lot of fun & don't regret it. At that point in my life I was a lousy prospect for being somebody's GF

 

In my mid - 30s I had a few ONS. Like emeraldgreen pointed out, I made the choice because I wanted a physical release but the pickings were slim. The FWB thing I had going on for a few months was with a handsome alcoholic with a Peter Pan complex. There was no way I could have an LTR with him but we had fun otherwise. I was looking for something serious but hadn't quite worked up the courage to go out alone to seek a more suitable partner. When I finally committed to doing that I ended the FWB arrangement I had.

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