Should I?

[VC1207]

So I need help making a decision.

 

I have a crush on someone that I work with. Technically I am her supervisor.. she is a student aide that works part time in my office. Before you all say wtf lets get into the backstory lol.

 

Backstory:

 

Im 30, she's 26 going on 27 and in a Master's program. She is super cute, outspoken and highly intelligent. She graduates in a few weeks and as of June will no longer be employed by our company. A few months ago I felt attracted and said I would wait it out and if I still felt attracted when she is getting ready to leave I would act on it.

 

Im just nervous because I have no game and don't know how to do this lol. Im terrified of making her feel awkward, or uncomfy.

 

I thought I would just approach her privately and respectfully and I plan to be cool and still respectful if she declines.

 

Should I wait until her last day? (my timing could be off and I could completely miss my opportunity)

 

Should I just not say anything and miss out on potentially something great? (We do seem to get along well, and if something romantic happened I think we would gel very nicely)

 

Thank you for reading and all of your input!

 

V

[todreaminblue]

You should wait until she leaves and has settled wherever she may go.... you are in a position of power over her.....she is in transition and at a time of vulnerability and possible insecurity....wait until she is settled and do what you said about approaching one on one.... respectfully one on one....accepting her decision either way....i dont believe in rushing things and if you have to rush to make a move...that move..is probably not the right one at that time....there is a ....desperateness about rushing.....stay calm and give her some time in her transition....then she will make a more stable decision or ....you could not take my suggestions(for i really dont know the girl) throw caution to the wind and do whats in your heart to do....i feel....you know whats right to do ...do that......deb

[kendahke]

don't poop where you eat

[alphamale]

don't poop where you eat

 

^^^this^^^

[Flame Aura]

Go for it! If you don't you will always be thinking 'what if' and regret it.

 

Tell her you would like to treat her to dinner to congratulate her on her graduation. From her response you will soon find out where you stand with her.

 

As for 'game'... just be yourself. It seems to have worked for you so far with her, and it's the best way to see how compatible you are.

 

Let us know how you get on.

[frus69]

You didnt mention if she has ever showed any signs of interest

[GeorgiaPeach1]

Maybe send her a friendly e-mail AFTER she's already left and a little time has passed. If she responds and you have a few, pleasant back and forth messages, THEN ask her out to something light like lunch. From there you can assess whether or not to proceed.

[elaine567]

Where will she go once she graduates? You really do not want to be in some long distance relationship with someone you hardly know outside of work.

[d0nnivain]

While you are her supervisor do NOTHING! So much as asking her out sets you up for a future claim of sexual harassment. If she doesn't get a job with your company after her studies are over she will scream discrimination & claim that she didn't the job because you black balled her after she turned you down for sex. Do not put your own career on that kind of peril.

 

Do keep talking to her about non work subjects in work, nothing too personal just yet. Talk about the weather, non-controversial current events, her post graduate plans etc. As her last day approaches ask if you can take her out for a celebratory drink. Invite lots of people from the department. Do speak to her at that get together & see if you can convince her to have a private drink with you the following week or day.

 

Absolutely do not ask her for a date without any preliminary interaction or while on company property.

[VC1207]

Hi everyone,

 

There is some solid advice here - I originally wanted to pull her aside on her last day.. but Idk.. Because after her last day I will not see her anymore. I thought it would be more genuine than asking her via email or instagram DM.

 

As far as her showing interest, at work she is all work.. very focused on her studies and her filmmaking. (at our office we are allowed to work on our personal work if there is downtime; all of our student aides do this).

 

Someone mentioned sending her an email a little bit after she has left the company - starting light conversation and THEN asking her out. I think I like that idea the most. Im thinking about asking her out to one of the new non-alcoholic bars (crazy right lol) here as she is not a drinker.

 

Thank you.

[Foxhall]

hmmn, at least with online dating, you know the other party is romantically interested or interested in the sense that they are both looking for love!

 

 

my main worry for you on this is the stress of it building up in side you, should I /should I not , you know it may bring you a sense of relief once you get your feelings out in the open,

 

 

I actually like the thoughts put forward by Flame Aura and Donnivain although they are contrasting viewpoints!

 

 

lol if it was me, Id take a chance on this and go with Flame Aura's advice,

 

 

you only live once,

 

 

cannot play it safe all the time!!

[smackie9]

I've been in her shoes....better to show interest after she's gone.

 

 

She's going to be having a lot to process at the time she leaves, saying good-bye to everyone, her graduation so she's going to be busy with friends and family and possibly going on vacation. She doesn't need this added to her plate. Step aside and let her enjoy her moments.

Edited May 10, 2019 by smackie9

[kendahke]

You didnt mention if she has ever showed any signs of interest

 

 

Yes--this. Interesting that OP hasn't answered this. In fact, there is nothing in his initial or subsequent posts that even address if she's even got it like that for him. So far, it's what's in his head, not what she's done to give him this impression.

 

Has she ever shown any interest in you outside of work? Being professional and friendly at work isn't being interested in you.

 

Do you know if she has a boyfriend or fiance?

 

Or if she's straight?

[dispatch3d]

This seems like a bad idea to me just overall.

[VC1207]

Yes--this. Interesting that OP hasn't answered this. In fact, there is nothing in his initial or subsequent posts that even address if she's even got it like that for him. So far, it's what's in his head, not what she's done to give him this impression.

 

Has she ever shown any interest in you outside of work? Being professional and friendly at work isn't being interested in you.

 

Do you know if she has a boyfriend or fiance?

 

Or if she's straight?

 

I thought I did answer this - I have no idea if she is interested or not. I mentioned that at work she is professional, cordial, friendly and mostly just does her work. She may be interested and she may not be. I wouldn't show interest to someone that I worked with either lol. Im only planning to say something once she is NO LONGER an employee. I believe she is bi, not sure if she is seeing anyone.

[VC1207]

Also a few updates...

 

kind of minor, kind of not lol. Two weeks ago it was pretty cold here so I wore my nicest sweater to work (I always get alot of compliments when I wear it).. so I put it on to see if she would notice at all.. she did.. she kind of said jokingly "I see you with the turtle-neck on" we both laughed. Same day she kind of teased me about being sensitive.. again we both laughed. Fast forward to yesterday.. I came in on my off day to have a few people sign a card for someone's last day. The two people who signed the card will not be there when its presented. Also I knew their would be drinks so I kind of came in to celebrate lol. I also knew she would be in.. so again I made sure I looked immaculate. Nicer shirt, super fresh haircut.. again to see if she would notice. When I came in the office I still had my bag on she says to me "are you leaving?" Almost like she didn't want me to go.. I think lol.

We also ended up locking eyes about three times. Im trying to make sure I'm not imagining things lol. The first time was in the office.. maybe for two or three seconds.. like intense stare.. but no one smiled. I think I was too surprised but not trying to make her feel creeped out lol. So then later on we all went out to a bar for happy hour.. ended up playing beer pong..she was on my team.. all fun, high fives, jokes ect. Then when she was getting ready to go home.. she said bye to everyone.. but we locked eyes again. She was talking to my other coworkers maybe a few steps away.. and I was sitting at a table with a wall behind me. We caught each other's eyes again.. this time was a little longer..she was talking to them and they to her but her eyes were on me.. again no smiles lol - me because I'm in shock... I think I looked away first and then back at her and she was still looking at me.

 

Is this good or am I reading too much into this?

 

Also I planned on giving her a good luck/congrats card and giving it to her on her last day (this Friday) with a cute little note and my number. I thought this may be a better route than asking her out at work, also if she isn't interested there is no pressure on her.

 

Thoughts? Lol

 

Thanks

[The Outlaw]

Wait until her last day. And be cool about it. I know it's nerve wracking because I've been there. But don't fret. If she expresses a mutual interest, awesome. If not, shrug it off and move on.

[alphamale]

Also a few updates...

 

kind of minor, kind of not lol. Two weeks ago it was pretty cold here so I wore my nicest sweater to work (I always get alot of compliments when I wear it).. so I put it on to see if she would notice at all.. she did.. she kind of said jokingly "I see you with the turtle-neck on" we both laughed. Same day she kind of teased me about being sensitive.. again we both laughed. Fast forward to yesterday.. I came in on my off day to have a few people sign a card for someone's last day. The two people who signed the card will not be there when its presented. Also I knew their would be drinks so I kind of came in to celebrate lol. I also knew she would be in.. so again I made sure I looked immaculate. Nicer shirt, super fresh haircut.. again to see if she would notice. When I came in the office I still had my bag on she says to me "are you leaving?" Almost like she didn't want me to go.. I think lol.

We also ended up locking eyes about three times. Im trying to make sure I'm not imagining things lol. The first time was in the office.. maybe for two or three seconds.. like intense stare.. but no one smiled. I think I was too surprised but not trying to make her feel creeped out lol. So then later on we all went out to a bar for happy hour.. ended up playing beer pong..she was on my team.. all fun, high fives, jokes ect. Then when she was getting ready to go home.. she said bye to everyone.. but we locked eyes again. She was talking to my other coworkers maybe a few steps away.. and I was sitting at a table with a wall behind me. We caught each other's eyes again.. this time was a little longer..she was talking to them and they to her but her eyes were on me.. again no smiles lol - me because I'm in shock... I think I looked away first and then back at her and she was still looking at me.

 

Is this good or am I reading too much into this?

 

Also I planned on giving her a good luck/congrats card and giving it to her on her last day (this Friday) with a cute little note and my number. I thought this may be a better route than asking her out at work, also if she isn't interested there is no pressure on her.

 

Thoughts? Lol

 

Thanks

 

OMG you are trying waaaay too hard here and over analyzing everything

[VC1207]

OMG you are trying waaaay too hard here and over analyzing everything

 

How am I trying too hard? I have said NOTHING to her and have done nothing?

[kamani]

I believe she is bi, not sure if she is seeing anyone.

 

Did anyone notice this?

 

OP why do you think this? Then why do you want her if you think so.?

 

Married to a bi man here (not knowing he is) and can't understand why someone would start a relationship knowingly their partner is bi.

 

May be a different story in case of a straight man because they can have a threesome (MFF) later in life.