Relationship after miscarriage

[Nikkkita]

I had a long distance relationship for months. From last month my partner became busy and tired by chatting. He told me he was tired and wanted a person by her side. We had a great connecrion so we decided to leave relationship and meet each other only when we were on vacations.

After couple weeks I realised that I was pregnant. I decided to manage meeting and talk about it but I was not sure because I knew he didn't want kids (he is divorced and have a child from his ex wife)

I wanted to talk to him but he seemed distant and I jusr stopped trying. After visiting a doctor and hearing heartbeat from a baby I became very happy but also stressed. That caused my miscarriage. I was feeling very bad and needed support. I decided to keep it secret. There was no reason to stress him.

Later he texted me he wanted to meet me and offering me to plan something for weekend. I was steel recovering from it and I really could not meet.

After arguing I decided to say real reason why I didnt wanted to see him for this weekend and asked to meet a bit later.

In the beginning he was very sorry but later became agressive. Told me that I was not trusting him and stressed myself, so I am the reason why I got miscarriage. He was very angry and I just needed his support, so I said I don't want to talk to him. Soo He blocked me.

 

Is that reaction normal? Am I wrong? What should I do? I love this man and I am feeling worse now. I lost a baby and the person I love

[preraph]

I'm not sure if you tried to blame him for the stress causing the miscarriage. If so, he had a right to be mad. If not, he was insensitive. At any rate, doesn't sound like a good relationship to hold onto.

[Nikkkita]

I'm not sure if you tried to blame him for the stress causing the miscarriage. If so, he had a right to be mad. If not, he was insensitive. At any rate, doesn't sound like a good relationship to hold onto.

 

I told about pregnancy and miscarriage same time.

I explained reason why I couldn't meet. Said I need recovery. I didn't say neither a word about blaming. I didn't want to stress so I was super sensitive about this topic.

Why is he blaming me and not supporting like normal people must do?

[malaiyas]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. This has clearly been a really bad time for you, and his insensitivity certainly does very little to help.

 

No one can explain why another person does the things they do... but I'm inclined to say that this man is callous and showing you his true colors. I know you must feel you lost so much so quickly, but the only true loss is here is that of the baby.

 

I know that's not what you want to hear. I know when you want one person, you just want that one person and any other possibility hurts. But is this how you want your ideal partner to treat you when you need him the most?

[Bella_Lee]

Hi @malaiyas I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's hard when someone you love is not being supportive in difficult times.

 

His reaction doesn't seem normal to me and I can only think there is some underlying reasons for his reaction. Is there any other way to contact him?

I pray you get stronger and the future bring you the desires of your heart.

[basil67]

Nikkita, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself or stress for the miscarriage. Approximately one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage and the primary reason is an abnormal embryo. Even if you were both overjoyed, the miscarriage would still have happened.

 

He's probably angry and blaming you because you kept the pregnancy a secret from him. If you want to continue working on the relationship, propose a fresh start to him. And also discuss what to do if there should be any future unexpected pregnancies.