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How to handle dating a girl who was in an emotionally abusive relationship


chemistry man

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chemistry man

I started dating a woman at work about 2 weeks after she broke up with an emotionally

 

abusive boyfriend. The first time I saw her was on the fourth of July. She was happy and

 

started holding my hand. Her friends who were with her said I had better be good to her in a

 

joking way but serious. I did not know at the time that she was abused. Over the next 3

 

weeks we went out about 6 times and always ended the night with a hug . On the

 

sixth date we kissed. Nothing deep, just a few light kisses on the lips. For the next week she

 

she would act different. For example I would ask her out and she would be rude and say not

 

really or if she had to walk to her car at night from work, I would say let me walk you and she

 

would say no she would let security do it. I thought she didnt want anyone to know about us

 

so I put it out my mind. Besides all her friends were behind me and said she was happy and

 

liked me and to keep up the good work. I asked them if she was okay and they said she was

 

fine even though she was strange to me.

 

Finally I had had enough of the cold shoulder so I called her and she was

 

upset. She said she was going through personal stuff and thats why she was so distant. I

 

did not pry and said if you need to talk then let me know. I hung up with her and 20 minutes

 

later I got a text saying" I am so sorry i suck. Dont waste your time on me. You are too great

 

and I dont know what I want. Naturally I called and said I was going to come over and

 

we could talk. She said okay. I went over and we talked for an hour. She said she really liked

 

me but didnt want to be in a relationship right now because she had never had a break in

 

between relationships and she wanted to be on her own for a while. She said she wanted

 

to see if she gets in relationships because she wants one or because its conveinant. She also

 

said she going through past issues and didnt want to drag me in.

 

I told her that was fine and that when or if she was ready for a relationship

 

then to keep me in mind. I left her on a good note. Over the next week I sent her 2 text

 

messages saying I am here for you and enjoy your days off. I would see her at work during

 

this week and she would talk briefly. I never mentioned going out again just kept the talks

 

simple. The next week she started coming over and occassionally touching my back and leg.

 

Then when I was sitting down she would sit in my lap. I was thinking what is up , I thought

 

she wanted space. I text her to ask if she wanted to go out as friends to a movie with no

 

pressure on her. We didnt go because she said she was tired. I would try to call her t ask her

 

out only as a friend again but this time she was out wit her girl friends. I saw her the next

 

day and she said when she sent the message that she was out with her friens that she got

 

so drunk that she needed a ridr home. She said she thought of calling me. I felt good that

 

she thought of me. The next day we laughed and joked at work. The next day I got off early

 

and text her to ask if she wanted to hang. I got no response.

 

Today I called her to see if she wanted to have lunch and she didnt

 

answer the phone so i left a message. I got no response. I then noticed a pattern that

 

when we talked before the relationship talk that night she would answer the phone and

 

talk to me but after that talk she would only respond to text messages. Now she wont

 

respond at all. I will see her at work for the next week till i am off. Whats going on and

 

what should i do.

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laRubiaBonita

leave her to rot...is what i would do if i were you.

 

she seems ungreatful, controling, and just plain rude.

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blue_eyes18

Right. Just don't even give her the time of day. It doesn't sound like she really wants you at all like that. If she did, she would let you know and wouldn't act confusing and ****ty. I wouldn't even call her ass again.

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