LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Am I just too torn to commit?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree1Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 17th April 2019, 11:19 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 1
Am I just too torn to commit?

Been dating same man for several years and we love each other. We don't live together because of me - in particular, at first I wasn't ready to make that commitment emotionally (for the first 3 or 4 years) and the last year is because he was in a bad place (lost his job and only source of income). Since then, he's employed and seems to be back on his feet - BUT, he has only a very modest amount saved for when he (can) retire(s) and I am very comfortable financially and can retire in a few years.

He is very good to me and my adult kids and is a very good "relationship" person, which is hard to find as we get older.

I had resolved in my mind that we won't live together until and unless I am fully comfortable with the idea.

Last year, during a time we were not seeing each other for a short time (I needed a break from his drama), I met someone else. We only had one date but it was incredible - we spent the entire day together. He and I have a lot in common as well including the fact that he is a professional (like me) and has his own practice (like me). He is very stable financially from what I can gather and he seems like a really nice and thoughtful man. He's been divorced a while and has 2 grown daughters with families of their own and he is close with them. However, after the first date, I told him I couldn't see him at that time because I was getting over another relationship (the truth). The other issue is distance - he lives about 80 miles away (a 2 hour or little less drive). I know LDR are tough but he only works 4 days/week and my schedule is a bit flexible as well.

A few weeks ago, something made me reach out to him. He was very happy I did so I assume he is still not in a relationship. He wants to see me again and I'm tempted to do so even though I'm still in my "old" relationship.
I feel so guilty but don't I owe it to myself? Does anyone have advice for this type of situation?
melvinmaryland is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th April 2019, 12:27 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 893
Of course you shouldn't see him without first ending your other relationship.
bachdude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th April 2019, 12:39 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 17,354
I never read where you and the unemployed guy got back together but if you are back together, end it since you don't seem all in and then date the professional guy you desire. Good that you both have flexible schedules.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th April 2019, 1:40 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 884
Choose one guy and leave the other one alone. There is no other way, is there? Which guy to choose? Very personally choice, I can't tell you. Just make up your mind.
Gretchen12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th April 2019, 2:28 PM   #5
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 24,151
Look, you've written over and over that you don't want to move in or marry this guy you're dating -- so don't. Break up with him. Date someone else.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
"The greatness of a nation & its moral progress can be judged by the way in its animals are treated." -Gandhi
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Won't commit and says six month of dating is too soon cworr Breaks and Breaking Up 9 5th January 2014 6:03 PM
Too good to leave, not good enough to commit to spookie Dating 35 13th April 2012 8:03 PM
to commit or not commit barry32 Dating 3 25th October 2010 12:20 PM
To commit or not commit black_cat1985 Marriage & Life Partnerships 7 26th April 2006 9:05 PM
Too YOung to Love? to COMMIT? 4 men and women calithin83 Dating 3 9th January 2004 6:34 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 3:09 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.