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Men make me sick to my stomach. Literally


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 14th April 2019, 3:58 PM   #16
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im not a fan of keep trying when i feel sick in the guts...and yes I have had exactly your problem...i have chosen not to go on dates unless i really feel something and know the guy well....because it isnt about the dating for me its about finding someone to share my life with and for me to eventually share their life in a permanent monogamous relationship....i would rather not risk me feeling sick dating random guys i dont know who i dont really care for and who dont really care for me....seems pointless and toxic to what I want to really find in love and life....i wont look for a date....if i do find my guy to date it will be purely organic from knowing a guy well..and wanting to know that guy more on an intimate one on one basis.....if just wanted to go on adate i would take my sons or daughters to a movie or cook them a nice dinner...which i do.............deb.......
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Old 14th April 2019, 4:22 PM   #17
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People who use social media extensively may lack social skills. Block these people once you hear of any drama/negativity. I have been there. When you feel ill it is your body's way of saying this is not for you. Plus asking on here shows you are not happy. Look after number one.
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Old 14th April 2019, 5:48 PM   #18
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Don't generalize a few experiences into an overall conclusion. The fact is that there are all types on the dating apps as well as walking around in real life. You have to read between the lines and learn to cull the crazies before you let'em inside your hula hoop. And it's not any different for men...

Last week I agreed to meet a woman for a drink downtown. I could tell that something was a little off. To make a long story short, I waited 30 minutes and left. I ended up having to block her, but her texts were still getting through so I had to block her at the system level through my provider. The one time I decide to take a chance and she turns out to be a complete whacka-doodle.

But to provide some balance... I met a woman downtown one other time without knowing much and it turned out that she was the sister of the judge that presided over my divorce! Prominent family, totally sophisticated.
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Old 14th April 2019, 6:32 PM   #19
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l had to try very hard not to start hating women when l joined a date site after being divorced . lt'd been so long and a million times l thought wth has happened to women in the last 22 years.
Gone were the happy carefree pretty girls l use to meet back in 20s and 30s, just gone.
All of the above in stuff you mentioned , and more.

l'm very very selective though and in time l discovered they weren't all like that now , you can still find that special one , they are still around.
But your not being selective , your going out with just anyone .
That's a crazy range of men to have been meeting , there;s nothing alike or suited to you in any of it, no pattern , it's just aimless.
So l'm not surprised you've had the run you've had, and you've only been single a few mths , why are you doing it ?
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Old 14th April 2019, 6:35 PM   #20
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Taking a break from dating could be healing for you. It doesn't sound like you're enjoying it very much.
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Old 14th April 2019, 6:41 PM   #21
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If you're meeting people that you have 'met' online, in whatever way, it is best not to meet up straight away. I know you say this is a good thing but actually it isn't. I have found the best way is to engage in chat online for a little while, a few days. It is surprising how people's attitudes come out after a few chats. All of a sudden you find out that a guy has extreme attitudes or gets angry about something bizarre. Then, you realise it is best not to meet after all.

I think part of the problem is you are rushing into meeting them without checking them first. Give them a little time to show their nature online and you will pretty quickly find out who you should not meet at least.
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Old 14th April 2019, 7:02 PM   #22
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Yep fully agree. l see a lot of stuff with people saying the quicker you meet the better , each to their own l suppose.But l found the exact opposite for me and taking my time was by far the smartest way to go, saved me a whoooooole lotta trouble.
You find things out, in a day, a few, talked to some a wk, more, but there it would come, and suddenly the writing was on the wall, don't waist my time. l only went to meet 3, but they were the pick of the crop and exactly who l would go for as far as l could tell so far. l live with one of them now.

Last edited by chillii; 14th April 2019 at 7:07 PM..
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Old 15th April 2019, 12:04 AM   #23
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When I was dating I found that meeting quickly was the best course of action. But I always kept my expectations limited to: can I have a good conversation with this woman? I knew that the majority of them would turn out as no or low chemistry. But I needed to meet them in person to make that decision. Worked out great for me. I was pretty good at screening for my expectations. The only time it didn't work was an exception I made for a redhead with two PhD's in genetics. She was dull in text and on the phone but I figured we could have a good conversation with a background like that. Um no. It was like talking to a mannequin. Go figure.
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Old 15th April 2019, 12:25 AM   #24
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I only read your initial post, but I think it has to do with the guys you're picking. A woman only needs to express to me one time she's not interested and she will never hear from me again, ever.
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Old 15th April 2019, 3:28 AM   #25
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I can relate to this post big time. MEN make me sick a lot. I have been dating guys for two years after my last relationship. Sometimes, when I'm getting ready for the date, i would be crying while putting my make up or something. I feel like every man has some sort of a mental illness or a redflag. I am tired of them, i have dated a lot and i tried to be alone and not to date for a while. But every guy i dated in those 2 years was a disappointment. I just feel like i have to ignore some redflags and bad personality trait if i dont want to end up alone. Like this guy who gets his **** together, who is normal and fun does not exist. The one im dating now is perfect on papers, but his high self-esteem and his narcissisim that i already detected are suffocating me; the whole time we talk he is talking about how much obsessed i will be with him because he will treat me just right.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your prince. If you are sick of men, how about you take a break from dating and focus on other stuff ? like a new hobby, gym, solo trip, trying new restaurants, read books, get a new pet.. I feel tired of dating too.

Clingy behaviors post-dates is what i noticed also. I block them immediately after clarifying that its not gonna work and they still try to ask me out again. NO SHAME.

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Old 15th April 2019, 7:08 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Highndry View Post
I only read your initial post, but I think it has to do with the guys you're picking. A woman only needs to express to me one time she's not interested and she will never hear from me again, ever.
I'm the exact same way. She doesn't even have to say it. I can pick up on it and delete her number and refocus on women who are interested. I never take it personally either.
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Old 15th April 2019, 8:18 AM   #27
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I don't know if reading posts like this are good or bad for me. LOL. (im a guy) I know there are a lot of "Players" out there... but there are a lot of good guys that just get stuck in a "Grass is greener" situation, and are tossed aside. Or worse... we get demonized to validate someone else's agenda. Because of that... the "Good Ones" may feel jaded, and have a hard time trusting again.


But on that note... there are just as many women who are the same.


Guess there's no real info here... just a response to what I'm reading, since it's very personal right now.
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Old 15th April 2019, 10:31 PM   #28
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This is not gender specific, or necessarily about the picker. It's simply a cross section that represents the state of the collective consciousness. Dating online, offline, social media, in person or through friends, you are likely to find the same.

What you will discover is vastly more egoic people, than normal ones. Look at the state of society, then tell me why you are surprised you can't meet a decent person...
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Old 15th April 2019, 11:46 PM   #29
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Prior to this relationship, I had dated quite a bit, online dating included.

Other than 2 or 3 really freaky experiences, everything was mostly good!

I'm wondering if it's perhaps the type of guys you swipe right on. In general, I have a thing for really smart guys or outdoorsy guys, and would only bother with researchers, coders, programmers, professors or rock climbers, canoeists etc.

Very varied perhaps, but I have always had a few rules --> I never, ever bother with men who have selfies whereby the sole focus of the photo is on how good they look. I'm not sure if you know what I mean. Like those where they smirk into the camera, where they look good and they know it - I never ever bother with people with such photos as their number one pic.

Usually, I do guys who have dogs in the photo (i know, such a typical girl), guys doing some outdoorsy activity, travel photos, or guys who look a little goofy.

Other rule is, I look at the profile and make sure they sound down-to-earth. And chill. I avoid all men who put things like "looking for a casual thing" etc., or things like "earn big bucks" or anything that points to an inflated ego.

Now, with all these rules in place, I still met a couple of doozies (one asked me to marry him on the first date. I ran fast and hard). But most of the time, i actually went on dates with really sincere, decent (at least from the first few dates) and intelligent men, and really enjoyed the whole dating process!
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Old 16th April 2019, 12:40 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by toomanyquestions123 View Post
I can relate to this post big time. MEN make me sick a lot. I have been dating guys for two years after my last relationship. Sometimes, when I'm getting ready for the date, i would be crying while putting my make up or something. I feel like every man has some sort of a mental illness or a redflag.
That's all just sad as hell , l've known a lot of good men , most of friends or guys l've met are good guys. And being a guy myself believe me l'd pick it or hear about otherwise in minutes.
l dunno how your managing the run your having, l mean it must be your choosing and choices.
The thing is, way back when when l was single, you could spot these women a mile away , in person in seconds. Or on date sites for example guarantee the real her will be among it in just a few lines somewhere, many of them in the first line or even in the name they'd chosen to call themselves. And if by some magic they did manage to sound sane through their page write up , a few messages or a call would let it out anyway if there were things.

So l dunno in guys on date sites never looked, but if they're anything like the women there's no need to even meet the losers and whackos .
The good ones you could also pick in things they said on their page, their photo's,a few messages and phone calls.
l actually thought date sites were good like that because in women , whatever they say or show gives them away right there and you just wouldn't even bother with 90% of them.
l don't see why it all couldn't be the same with the guys if your a good judge of character

like for example right there, why are you even seeing this guy now then if he's all that , why even start seeing him or go on seeing him ?
Right there could be your prob , l mean you just wouldn't even bother with people like that.

So say for me , it wasn't the women l actually met that were making me sick, l only met the few great girls out there that l could find and girls where l felt we could have a very good shot.
What made me sick was the rest of them and things l saw or heard or even read in ls sometimes. But l've never had anything to do with that type. Just seeing it all was enough though.And they do all the same scamming and fronts and lady like acts that l'd imagine these guys would do, but it's as transparent as glass , they unravel before your eyes. You just avoid them.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 16th April 2019 at 8:24 AM..
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