Jump to content

Do I have a right here? (short question)


WhereSpiritsRoam

Recommended Posts

WhereSpiritsRoam

Hey all - I like someone who currently has a FWB relationship going on with someone else right now. Do I have any right to politely ask her to refrain from doing that stuff until she makes a decision on whether or not she wants to date me? I know we technically aren't going out, but I think it would be respectful if she held off on the fooling around until I got an answer either way, ya know? I would do that for her so I could gain a clearer perspective on what I wanted to do.

Link to post
Share on other sites

IMO If this Girl was all about you to begin with you wouldn't need to ask her to stop having sex with someone else, she wouldn't be doing it... in fact you wouldn't know about someone else because she wouldn't have told you about it...

 

My 2 Cent's

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam
Originally posted by Merin

IMO If this Girl was all about you to begin with you wouldn't need to ask her to stop having sex with someone else, she wouldn't be doing it... in fact you wouldn't know about someone else because she wouldn't have told you about it...

 

My 2 Cent's

 

Well, we've just started talking. She hasn't had a chance to really like me yet, but she definitely wants to get to know me better. I'm just not sure I'm keen on getting to know a girl who is having sex with someone else. I'd like her to hit the "pause" button on that while we talk more.

Link to post
Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall

If you tell her to stop the FWB situation she will show you the door..

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam
Originally posted by my_manda

Why would you think that she owed you something if she has not even indicated that she likes you? Just curious.

 

Well, I was just thinking it would be a courteous thing to do. If someone liked me, I would temporarily suspend the FWB while I looked into the new possibility.

Link to post
Share on other sites

i agree with merin but at the end of the day, you have to do what you're comfortable with. apparently this is a dealbreaker for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam

Well, we've just started talking. She hasn't had a chance to really like me yet, but she definitely wants to get to know me better. I'm just not sure I'm keen on getting to know a girl who is having sex with someone else. I'd like her to hit the "pause" button on that while we talk more.

 

Honestly... again WSR IMO IF this Girl was interested in dating you there isn't any way you would even know about this other arrangement she's got going on... while I'm not saying she doesn't want to get to know you better, IMO it's more as a friend than a potential romantic partner.. think about it, IF or WHEN you have a romantic interest in someone you DON'T start telling that person that you're having sex with someone else....

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam

If someone liked me, I would temporarily suspend the FWB while I looked into the new possibility.

 

Then doesn't that give you a clear indication about where you stand with her?

 

To answer your original question: No, you don't. You also shouldn't have to. And if you DID have to ask her to stop f*cking other dudes, she's not worth your effort anyway.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by Merin

IF or WHEN you have a romantic interest in someone you DON'T start telling that person that you're having sex with someone else....

 

Yeah I agree with this totally :bunny:

Link to post
Share on other sites

if she already told you she is banging another dude then she has no romantic interest in you whatsoever....

 

and FYI, a FWB situation is usually created when a girl likes a dude a lot but he does not want to commit to her, so she just settles for sex. :)

 

good day

alpha

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam
Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

If you tell her to stop the FWB situation she will show you the door..

 

I don't mind taking that chance because I don't want to talk to her if she's going to continue having sex with him on the side.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam
Originally posted by Merin

Honestly... again WSR IMO IF this Girl was interested in dating you there isn't any way you would even know about this other arrangement she's got going on... while I'm not saying she doesn't want to get to know you better, IMO it's more as a friend than a potential romantic partner.. think about it, IF or WHEN you have a romantic interest in someone you DON'T start telling that person that you're having sex with someone else....

 

She never actually told me, but it's posted on her online blog. Don't know if that makes any difference.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam
Originally posted by alphamale

if she already told you she is banging another dude then she has no romantic interest in you whatsoever....

 

and FYI, a FWB situation is usually created when a girl likes a dude a lot but he does not want to commit to her, so she just settles for sex. :)

 

good day

alpha

 

She might like him, but from the facts I have gathered, it's a one way street here. He has no intention of being with her. The question is, then, will she stop banging him if she starts falling for me?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam

The plan is to tell her I'm only interested in getting to know her if she stops the FWB thing for awhile. If she cares about my feelings and knows it makes me uncomfortable, she'll do it. If not, that's fine, too. I've had enough girls be blunt with me about things so I figure I'll try it myself.

Link to post
Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall
Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam

The plan is to tell her I'm only interested in getting to know her if she stops the FWB thing for awhile.

 

That shows balls ... But don't look for it to go your way.. She is banging him..

 

your asking her to stop banging the guy she is comfortable with so you guys can talk and get to know each other..

 

Sounds like a lose/lose deal to me..

Link to post
Share on other sites
Marshbear32
if she already told you she is banging another dude then she has no romantic interest in you whatsoever....

 

 

I disagree Alpha. I know women who bang other guys and they in no way want a romantic relationship, just sex.

 

will she stop banging him if she starts falling for me?

 

The obvious answer is yes. Anyone who cares for someone enough is not going to want to be with other people in a physical way. You have to decide if you want a romance with her since she is now doing some other guy and you say she shows interest in you. Can you handle it if she just wants you on the side also? MAybe she just likes sex with many partners.

How old is she?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam

She might like him,

so she's banging this other dude and u think she "might" like him??? WTF!

 

 

Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam

The plan is to tell her I'm only interested in getting to know her if she stops the FWB thing for awhile.

She'll most likely laugh in your face when u say this....and your chance of hooking up with her will go from 2% to 0%. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam
Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

That shows balls ... But don't look for it to go your way.. She is banging him..

 

your asking her to stop banging the guy she is comfortable with so you guys can talk and get to know each other..

 

Sounds like a lose/lose deal to me..

 

I don't expect it go my way, but I'm used to that. Lol. The bottom line is that I won't be happy with her doing that while talking to me. I don't have to like it just like she doesn't have to abstain for awhile.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam
Originally posted by Marshbear32

Can you handle it if she just wants you on the side also? MAybe she just likes sex with many partners. How old is she?

 

I don't think she's that kind of girl, but I have been wrong many a time. She's 19, and get this, the dude she is apparently with is only 16. That in itself is probably a debate for an entirely separate thread, but I think she is torn between this young dude who is good in bed and me, who is older and hopefully a lot more mature than that guy.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Nobody here can tell you what's going to happen. If you're willing to take the risk of losing her, and that might be a hefty chance, then go for it. It's you're decision.

 

Why do you feel the need to ask her to do anything before you even know if she likes you?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam
Originally posted by alphamale

She'll most likely laugh in your face when u say this....and your chance of hooking up with her will go from 2% to 0%. :)

 

Then she'll laugh. I know what I'm looking for and what will make me comfortable, and I'm not going to stop looking until I find it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam
Originally posted by JS17

Why do you feel the need to ask her to do anything before you even know if she likes you?

 

I honestly don't know. All I do know is that this makes me uncomfortable inside for some reason. It just doesn't give me a good feeling.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
WhereSpiritsRoam

Apparently she stopped doing that with him as soon as she started talking to me, and she has no intention of continuing the FWB relationship regardless if we go out or not. She is harboring a lot of regret for doing something so out of her character. So I suppose that is good news.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...