Soulinfected Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 I play video games as an enthusiast, and have done for most of my life. I have never let it get in the way of anything. I studied and completed a diploma on top of full time work, started a new career and am excelling at my new job. I also go to the gym and keep healthy. I'm aware that it's rare to find a woman gamer to date but I always feel I'm being judged whenever I mentioned it. With one of the last girls I was rejected by, she did painting as a hobby. She seemed to reel at the fact that I played video games, as another girl did too. So now I'm perpetually hiding it. They don't seem to accept it as a valid past time. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 I am not sure if they do not rate it s a valid pastime or they are worried they get involved with some guy who can hardly pee, in case he misses out on the game... Gaming usually equals a degree of obsession and as most women want a man to pay attention to her instead of some game, then she will tend to avoid gamers like the plague... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Gaming usually equals a degree of obsession and as most women want a man to pay attention to her instead of some game, then she will tend to avoid gamers like the plague... This would be the meat of it... What girl would want to be a gamer widow when on date night they should be together and in reality the gamer is glued to the screen ignoring the GF... Doesn't paint a fun picture of something to tie yourself to so women just run.. I would bet though that women run from a past experience and not wanting to repeat it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 I play video games as an enthusiast, and have done for most of my life. I have never let it get in the way of anything. I studied and completed a diploma on top of full time work, started a new career and am excelling at my new job. I also go to the gym and keep healthy. I'm aware that it's rare to find a woman gamer to date but I always feel I'm being judged whenever I mentioned it. With one of the last girls I was rejected by, she did painting as a hobby. She seemed to reel at the fact that I played video games, as another girl did too. So now I'm perpetually hiding it. They don't seem to accept it as a valid past time. The reason for this is from their bad experiences with gaming BF's that spent more time playing than seeing them, or the gaming was more of a priority. Plus a lot of people see gaming as a waste of life. It is what it is. I'm a gamer myself, but I also fill my time with other hobbies and activities. I think if you open yourself up to different things, and present them of more importance over your gaming, you just might be able to win them over. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Most gamers, while meeting there employment and education requirements, are known to spend the rest of their time gaming. They judge you as being unavailable for dating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulinfected Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 Ok, I will hide this from future dates then. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 I would think the key would be to find someone who is like you and games as well.. there are tons of women gamers who date.. Honestly if you have to hide it then maybe they do have a point. Don't hide it but only talk about it if they ask.. in other words don't offer it up on a platter as a topic of conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulinfected Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 Nah I don't need to reveal it at all. I have other hobbies anyway. They will find out and it won't be an issue because they will know what I'm like at the point. It's not like I'm hiding being an alcoholic or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulinfected Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 Don't hide anything. You would just be doing yourself a disservice. Do what I do and immediately lay your cards on the table. Let ladies know right away that you are a gamer. Even go so far as telling them about a game you play. If they are turned off and wanna bail, you're better off. I am a gamer and even worse, I dare to be a Dungeons & Dragons player (on and off). One night back in college, this girl that was crushing on me basically invited herself back to my place to "work on our projects together." Sure. As soon as we walked in, I gave her a tour of my place, including my little game room which is filled with video games and D&D stuff. She laughed and called me a nerd. I stuck her in the friendzone immediately. She was trying to hook up with me later and I wanted no parts of it. She seemed confused that I wasn't interested. Why be with a girl that doesn't respect you? That includes your hobbies. I'd rather date a girl that sees the value in dating me for who I am. Wouldn't you? That's not cool? If she laughed and called you a nerd, it sounds like she was just being playful. Especially since you said she tried to hook up with you later. Why it's being called a nerd so offensive to you? If she didn't like it she would have kept it to herself and NOT tried to hook up with you... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Ya and you should have smashed anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 H and I both play and I love it. Obviously, like with any other hobby, moderation is key. We go out on dates, do lots of other fun things together, he has a great career and a rich social life. Games are just that thing that we do to veg out after work sometimes, like most couples do with the TV. As long as you're a balanced person in general I wouldn't worry about it. If you're not a balanced person, well, nobody wants to date a guy who spends all weekend every weekend fishing, anyway. She laughed and called me a nerd. I stuck her in the friendzone immediately. She was trying to hook up with me later and I wanted no parts of it. She seemed confused that I wasn't interested. Why be with a girl that doesn't respect you? That includes your hobbies. I'd rather date a girl that sees the value in dating me for who I am. Wouldn't you? Dude, way to overreact, lol. Sounds like she was just teasing you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulinfected Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 H and I both play and I love it. Obviously, like with any other hobby, moderation is key. We go out on dates, do lots of other fun things together, he has a great career and a rich social life. Games are just that thing that we do to veg out after work sometimes, like most couples do with the TV. As long as you're a balanced person in general I wouldn't worry about it. If you're not a balanced person, well, nobody wants to date a guy who spends all weekend every weekend fishing, anyway. Dude, way to overreact, lol. Sounds like she was just teasing you. Is your name in reference to Elsewyr? ONLY TRVE GAMER GETS REFERENCE Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Is your name in reference to Elsewyr? ONLY TRVE GAMER GETS REFERENCE No, sorry, I actually had to google that. Not a fan of ESO! *hides* Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 I’m not sure the exact definition of a gamer, but my bf plays a LOT of video games. He has a full time successful career and also plays a sport for fun. But he still manages to play almost constantly during the weeknights we don’t see each other. If it’s not interfering with our time together, it doesn’t bother me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulinfected Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 No, sorry, I actually had to google that. Not a fan of ESO! *hides* I'm not a fan of ESO either. Just the OG ES games. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 You know, if you prioritize golf, at least You're not playing on bad weather days. Gamers just into play constantly and ignore everything else and often cannot be trusted to watch for example a toddler while the mother wants to go to the store. This happened to a friend of mine. He would completely forget to watch the toddler and from then on she told me she knew she could never trust him alone with the children. so if a woman is looking to have a family they've likely heard these type stories from someone because it's common. At least if you're both watching TV, you can be cuddling eating dinner at the same time. It would be good to find someone to like it as much as you did and didn't mind if you both just checked out one play together, but the truth is at some point somebody in the household has to grow up and take care of the household, so it is considered a negative if it's a big priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 I know a few girls who are into gaming and a few girls who wouldn't mind a gamer if he's a good guy with his sh*t together. I think you should absolutely be who you are, so don't hide your hobby. I think in saying how much you love it and describing your love of gaming or whichever details about it, I just think you need to convey that you don't let it consume you and have your sh*t together. In other words, dispel whatever stereotypes might jump into their minds by counteracting it with facts about the rest of your life. I wouldn't fall all over yourself to do this (because who wants a girl that doesn't "get" you) but just let her know with some evidence I think relaying information is fine initially and then back it up if you continue to date in your actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulinfected Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 You know, if you prioritize golf, at least You're not playing on bad weather days. Gamers just into play constantly and ignore everything else and often cannot be trusted to watch for example a toddler while the mother wants to go to the store. This happened to a friend of mine. He would completely forget to watch the toddler and from then on she told me she knew she could never trust him alone with the children. so if a woman is looking to have a family they've likely heard these type stories from someone because it's common. At least if you're both watching TV, you can be cuddling eating dinner at the same time. It would be good to find someone to like it as much as you did and didn't mind if you both just checked out one play together, but the truth is at some point somebody in the household has to grow up and take care of the household, so it is considered a negative if it's a big priority. That's a huge generalization there bud. That's like saying all drivers drink and drive. All people who watch TV are fat and lazy etc etc 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 OP, there are some things you may want to wait to share. For example, I love extreme heavy metal. I don't take it seriously, but it freaks some girls out. The thing is, it's not that big of a deal in my life. But it pumps me up for the gym. I don't really tell a girl I've just met about it, especially since I like a lot of other more mainstream music. I can also see what enigma is saying, in that it might be good just to put it out there. There are quite a few women into gaming these days, so I would think there are some out there you could hang out with. That way you would have something in common. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulinfected Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 (edited) OP, there are some things you may want to wait to share. For example, I love extreme heavy metal. I don't take it seriously, but it freaks some girls out. The thing is, it's not that big of a deal in my life. But it pumps me up for the gym. I don't really tell a girl I've just met about it, especially since I like a lot of other more mainstream music. I can also see what enigma is saying, in that it might be good just to put it out there. There are quite a few women into gaming these days, so I would think there are some out there you could hang out with. That way you would have something in common. I love extreme metal too haha. My favourite bands are Mayhem and Nile. I also play drums. Edited March 28, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Hm, I think some of the stereotyping comes from the term gamer itself and I would avoid using that term. Gamer implies that you build a big part of your identity around the hobby, and identify - at least to some extent - with the stereotype. It implies a lifestyle. Same would be true with term such as biker. Or hardrocker. Or gymrat. Etc. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 (edited) I love extreme metal too haha. My favourite bands are Mayhem and Nile. Both classics! But I'm not going to show a girl I first met the picture of Dead's brain on the front of Mayhem CD cover Edited March 28, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Be who you are and people can take or leave it. It is a hobby like anything ele and as long as you don't let it take over you then enjoy what you like. There are also women who like gaming. My wife actually cried at the end of Red Dead Redemption 2 and I think there are many women like her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 I think if you open yourself up to different things, and present them of more importance over your gaming, you just might be able to win them over. I think this is important. These days around 60-70% of guys (under the age of 50 or so) play games in some form or other, so the fact that you game on some level should hardly be a shock or a big black mark. Where the distinction comes is at the obsessive level... many girls will at some point have been burnt by dating a guy who spends all of his spare time gaming, and puts it as his top priority after eating/sleeping/work. You need to present yourself as someone who doesn't fall into that category. Mention gaming in context with your other interests - whether it's fitness, travel, tv shows, discussing dating and relationships on internet forums, or whatever else Present yourself as the well-rounded individual that you are, and you'll be fine. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 This thread is actually a subject that has been on my mind lately. And, I think most of the advice is sound. 1) Don't hide the fact that you are a gamer to a new person. As mentioned, it could be a killer after the fact. So, before you get attached to that other person, let them know. 2) Level is everything. I know some gamers, and they don't have any issues with not showering for a couple days because they are into the new fad game. As said already, there is a negative to that image, and could drive someone away. So, be truthful to yourself, and figure out what level you are at. (can you go days without turning on your system? Or do you obsess about your next session?) Now... the reason I've been thinking about this is... I've never thought of myself as a "Gamer", but I've always had game systems. I go all the way back to the Atari 2600. (late 40's) But, as my kids got older, I kind of got into more than I did in the past. Over the last 3 or so years, I went from only having one console, and letting it go almost our of date, to I have every current system in the house. (Xbox 1 S, PS4, PSVR, Switch, new 3ds) While I do have all of that, I can go weeks where the "Consoles" don't get turned on. (my oldest kid plays Fortnight every day) I like to play the PSVR when nothing is on TV, and play Mario Kart with my youngest when she asks. Now... the par that I've been thinking of... one of my current hobbies has been collecting retro handheld units. I basically have all the Nintendo handhelds made, and any obscure game or accessories made. To me that's even more "nerdy" than being a regular gamer, and I really like the old games. So, that in of itself could be a turn off for some. regardless, I won't hide it moving forward with my life. Link to post Share on other sites
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