Words of encouragement appreciated

[WhereSpiritsRoam]

Well, tomorrow will be exactly one year since the demise of my last relationship, and like clockwork, I'm feeling like crap. Since we split, I have gone on many dates and do feel I've become stronger emotionally - except for today, and probably the next day or so. I guess what has me down is that it's twelve months later and I still don't have a new girlfriend. I know she is happily with someone new, and I think that's adding to my sadness some. It's not so much that I miss her, but that she's moved on to a new relationship and I feel stuck in idle.

 

"Moving on" isn't just limited to starting a new relationship, right? I've always thought that just solidifying that kind of mindset, regardless of success or failure, is the main idea. I suppose there's nothing wrong with me feeling this way, but it just sucks and I guess I could use some words of encouragement right now. Thanks, folks.

[kgal]

I just saw your post...

 

I was just thinking of my ex tonight. I feel I've moved on as far as the fact that I can love someone else.. but I still love and miss my ex. I have put him in a special spot in my heart.. and sometimes I still go and visit those memories of us. I was surprised as I closed my eyes and images of us together in the past appeared in my mind. I thought I would cry.. as I have in the past.. but nothing! I was shocked... I then realized that I will always love him.. but I can indeed move forward. I feel that if I ever bump into him or hear from him again... then that will just be something the Lord allows and it would be nice to see him again someday. Anyways.... just because your ex is seeing someone new doesn't mean that she has forgotten you.. and it doesn't mean that you are idle. Moving on doesn't mean that you have to be in a new relationship to totally be over your ex. I will prob. think of my ex for the rest of my life... I miss him that much. I just know that I did all I could in that 'ship and I've let it go... You will be just fine.. and I'm glad to hear that you have become emotionally stronger.. that is a great sign! Just take a day at a time... and you will find sure happiness with someone, I'm positive!! Take Care.

[kellyp1]

Don't try to fit yourself into a schedule of when you should be over it. Your heart will heal in time. Funny, but I was reading somewhere how many people turn to music to help themselves heal as the feelings in your heart are put to song. Here is one of my fave song quotes:

 

"The price of the memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings." Memories of a past relationship can be a good/bad thing. Don't let them consume you and try to focus on making new memories. You have said you are making progress. Great! Don't discount that. As someone that has not had a Valentine's Day date in 7 years (and I am not unattractive) that date is all about my past memories for me. I try to keep myself busy. Go to a baseball game, bar, something, just get out of the house and away from your memories.

 

Good luck! And remember, you will be fine. Love is also not on a schedule and when you are ready and time is right, you will find it again.

[Just Visiting]

I have been where you are WhereSpiritsRoam. My previous relationship ended painfully and abruptly. It took me over a year to recover. It hurt that bad. Fortunately, it gave me the opportunity to find someone who is more compatible and things are great. I found out a lot of things about my ex, so someone upstairs was watching out for me. If I stayed with him, my self-esteem would have taken an even more severe nosedive than it already did.

 

It's normal to feel sad, jealous, angry, etc over exes who have moved on to other relationships. I felt the same way too. It felt like I have been ripped off and left to put the pieces back togeher. But you will get over it. You will. If I can recover from a painful break-up, you can too.