Oilfield9272 Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 My girlfriend of 3 years had a one night stand and now she’s acting distant I know she’s says she’s completly overwhelmed right now as she has gotten pregnant from that night. I know she’s not perfect and I don’t expect perfection out of her. I don’t believe she wants to break up with me I feel if she did she would have just done it. I do forgive her and I’m willing to give her another chance. The hardest thing is I don’t know what to do right off I did what any other guy probably would do and tried to hard and pushed and in turn seemed needy and insecure. How do I give her space but still show that I love her and I’m there for her I had a somewhat similar experience with a girlfriend in the past and I let that experience cloud my mind and take control and think the worst in that being she would leave me. Please help I want us to work this out Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Does the father know she is pregnant? What does she intend to do; is she planning to keep the baby? If so, how does she envision Dad playing (or not playing) a role in the little one's life? I think you are too worried about being needy and not worried enough about her cheating and what that means for your future together. The baby further complicates matters but my guess is that she is rethinking your relationship. Having sex with someone else was the sign her heart isn't with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 First of all, she cheated on you, with severe consequences to her as well. I would not trust her again, nor would the relationship ever be the same. However, you can still be her friend, and support her through this whether she keeps the child, or not. Either way, however, it does not change that she betrayed you. For me, that would be the end of any romantic relationship, but I could still forgive and show some compassion. (If the father is involved, though, I'd not be.) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oilfield9272 Posted March 17, 2019 Author Share Posted March 17, 2019 Does the father know she is pregnant? What does she intend to do; is she planning to keep the baby? If so, how does she envision Dad playing (or not playing) a role in the little one's life? I think you are too worried about being needy and not worried enough about her cheating and what that means for your future together. The baby further complicates matters but my guess is that she is rethinking your relationship. Having sex with someone else was the sign her heart isn't with you. She said she hasn’t told the father yet. She plans to keep the baby and let the dad be a part of its life. She also said she loves me she is just overwhelmed with the thought of everything right now. I want to believer her as she still reply’s to my texts and will talk to me for hours on end when we are together and tells me she loves me. I was just thinking that maybe she needed space to let everything sink in and revaluate her feelings for me Link to post Share on other sites
Kelliousme Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Dump her. Honestly don't know what else to say. She cheated on you. Now she's pregnant and she plans to keep the baby and put the father in the picture. She's distant and you don't know what to do because you don't want her to leave you. This is just messy and it's a terrible situation for you. I'd feel bad for you but if you don't leave this woman.. then you deserve it. Learn to love yourself. You don't deserve to be in this situation. Get rid of her. Find someone who won't cheat on you/play games with you. There's literally ZERO trust in the relationship once one side cheats. I know 3 years is not a short period of time. But it's better for you in the long run. Seriously.. get rid of her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 She said she hasn’t told the father yet. She plans to keep the baby and let the dad be a part of its life. She also said she loves me she is just overwhelmed with the thought of everything right now. I want to believer her as she still reply’s to my texts and will talk to me for hours on end when we are together and tells me she loves me. I was just thinking that maybe she needed space to let everything sink in and revaluate her feelings for me Who is the dad? She obviously knows the guy well enough to know how to contact him to inform him of the pregnancy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 I think you are too worried about being needy and not worried enough about her cheating and what that means for your future together. The baby further complicates matters. Having sex with someone else was the sign her heart isn't with you. This. How is it that your girlfriend of three years just goes out and has a one night stand with another man? She cheated on you, and now she will deal with the consequence of that decision for the rest of her life. That would be enough to end most relationships... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Commongoal123 Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 I think you are too worried about being needy and not worried enough about her cheating and what that means for your future together. The baby further complicates matters but my guess is that she is rethinking your relationship. Having sex with someone else was the sign her heart isn't with you. I'll third the above... Dude, run away. She's clearly keeping you as a side arm, but is clearly interested elsewhere. Sounds like she's manipulating you. Have some self-respect. Do you really want to deal with this situation, and throw yourself under the bus out of unreciprocated love? There are a loooot of girls out there who won't cheat on you, are plenty attractive with great personalities, and won't keep feeding you breadcrumbs around after they got pregnant during a one night stand. Think about that.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Run Forrest!!!!! Run!!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 I do not understand what you are thinking here... Your long term gf cheats on you, gets pregnant, is keeping the baby and you are worried about how you are acting with her??? I do not understand where your head is at here!!! This woman is bad news, you want to be with her and a baby that is not yours from when she cheated on you. Get a spine man!!! You are being pathetic!! This woman should have been dumped yesterday, get your crap together and respect yourself. Dump this woman with no integrity, you can do better than her. Let her worry about how she is going to take care of the baby with the father, that is not you job. Now go out and find a woman with integrity, leave this one in the rear view mirror. Please do not be a sucker and stay with this woman, you will regret it. I promise you that I wish you luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightybop Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 What the hell? After 3 years your girlfriend cheats on you, gets pregnant, and you want to stick around? This is the worst possible scenario. How do you not see this? You have to get out of this situation NOW. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 She cheated on you with someone she knows well enough to inform of her pregnancy and not only that, but she wants her sex buddy to be a part of this new life they created and she expects you to ante up support and help her with this other guy's child? Are you cool with the babydaddy being in the labor and delivery room while you wait outside? Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 I call b*llsh*t on the "one" night stand. wake up before you find yourself played. good luck 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 You gotta be strong and dump her. She’s a cheater. You dodged a bullet. Consider yourself fortunate. Forget her. Erase her memories from your life. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 (edited) My suspicion is the GF didn’t cheat, isn’t pregnant, you are not taking the story and breaking up the way she expected. She is done with you. Edited March 18, 2019 by Simple Logic Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 I’m curious as to why she’s so certain the baby is this other guy’s and not yours. I know you’re trying not to appear needy but, the truth is, anyone who sits back and stays with someone who cheated on them and got pregnant from cheating is about as needy as it gets. No way on earth should you tolerate this. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 I’m curious as to why she’s so certain the baby is this other guy’s and not yours. I know you’re trying not to appear needy but, the truth is, anyone who sits back and stays with someone who cheated on them and got pregnant from cheating is about as needy as it gets. No way on earth should you tolerate this. Yep , sorry to say man but l'm wondering wth you would. Not only did she cheat on you which is enough of a betrayal for most to get out , but she goes and gets herself preg to him , and you wanna stick around, and you wanna be a part of the mess and looking after another mans child born through cheating on you. You really need to get yourself out of this rubbish and stop being her doormat . Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 The fact that you stick around is sooo needy and insecure. If I were your GF, heck any girl, would lose all respect for you..because you are a doormat and that's very unattractive for a guy. Also your GF did not just have a one night stand and will not only have a one night stand with the baby daddy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 Or did you cheat on her first? Not saying it's right to cheat revenge but I feel like this story is missing something? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 So you're going to invest your life and energy into raising her affair partner's baby? Plenty of men do this with no knowledge about the child's real paternity. But you KNOW the baby is the product of cheating with another guy and you want to stay with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 I’m sorry I think this thread might be fake. If it’s not though you need to run away from this woman and her drama. Are you ready to be a step father ? Are you ready to be second place ? Because When this child gets here you will become second place and most likely will have to step up on bills and accessories My advice would be to leave this person because this is just inexcusable, I understand you have three years but this is a child that’s going to be in the picture for 18 years !!! Be glad and move on Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 Good grief, dump her yesterday. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 OP, all the advice, you're getting here is with YOUR best interest in mind. You clearly care for this woman, but it's possible to care too much. "Love is blind." Don't be blind. This is her and the father's trainwreck, not yours. You're more like a bystander who also got hurt. Don't let her make this your trainwreck too. There are people who, not matter how much you do for them, will turn on you when it seems to suit them. Do not let this woman convince you to marry and care for the child. You may find in five years, she's suddenly cheating again and then YOUR life turns into a trainwreck. Because you let it. And depending on your state's laws you might end up paying spousal support for a long time. IMO, and I don't say this lightly, your best option is to either walk away completely or be a supportive friend (not boyfriend) while she goes through the childbirth. Move on romantically with someone else. Seriously, you deserve better. And whatever else you do, do not allow her to convince you to marry her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
40somethingGuy Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 You might as well tell her that she can cheat whenever she wants. Holy cow you have a lot to learn. You probably consider this to be a 'mistake' instead of a 'choice.' She CHOSE TO CHEAT ON YOU. And you get to help pay for and raise another man's kid? God. SMH. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts