Glenn2008 Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 I think it benefits me when a woman talks at least 70% of the time on a date. If I can keep her talking most of the time then there's a good chance she will let something slip out as a red flag and then I will know to cut her loose sooner before getting emotionally invested or wasting money. I am a love detective like an undercover CIA agent in dating. I'm there to gather information. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 I am a love detective like an undercover CIA agent in dating. I'm there to gather information. So is she. And, if she is the only one talking and you are not volunteering information, it’s going to make her wonder about your poor social skills and/or what you are hiding. You may not be the one deciding to “cut the other loose...” 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glenn2008 Posted March 17, 2019 Author Share Posted March 17, 2019 So is she. And, if she is the only one talking and you are not volunteering information, it’s going to make her wonder about your poor social skills and/or what you are hiding. You may not be the one deciding to “cut the other loose...” Maybe but if during the course of the conversation she talks about how someday she would like to get married and says she does not want to be a lonely old maid that's a red flag and my cue to cut her loose. She is not going to cut me loose when she is going out with me for the wrong reasons. She is just lonely. It will be up to me to take charge of the situation and stop calling her. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Maybe but if during the course of the conversation she talks about how someday she would like to get married and says she does not want to be a lonely old maid that's a red flag and my cue to cut her loose. She is not going to cut me loose when she is going out with me for the wrong reasons. She is just lonely. It will be up to me to take charge of the situation and stop calling her. Dude. You are going to be single for a really long time with this attitude. A woman who wants to get married in three months - red flag. A woman who wants to find a life partner and get married “someday” - nothing wrong with that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glenn2008 Posted March 17, 2019 Author Share Posted March 17, 2019 (edited) The term lonely old maid strikes me as a red flag because that implies someone is willing to settle for someone they are not really attracted to and succumb to the pressures of loneliness. Settling is more common than we think. I may be single for a long time or even for life. I agree with you but not for the reasons you think. Being alone is the lesser of 2 evils compared to having a girlfriend who is there for reasons that have nothing to do with love. If all a guy wants is a girlfriend I think 90% of men can get one easily. However finding a girlfriend who stays for the right reasons is a different story. Edited March 17, 2019 by Glenn2008 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Just keep making up those crazy rules and generalizing about women and clamming up on dates, my friend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Glenn do you actually want help with something or are you here to vent? Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Look, I'm a listener too, but you don't want to just listen ... you want to talk and say things that are important and real. Otherwise, you're basically hiding on a date. Not good for your confidence, not good for letting her know who you are. And the kicker, she might really like some of your ideas ... but if you're hiding, you're not getting a full picture of who she is. You don't have to be a spy to pick up red flags ... Sure, you want to notice red flags ... but frankly, you're focusing at the wrong place--you want to see if there is a connection there and see if you like the person ... You pay attention to odd things someone says .. sure ... but you don't need to go into a first date ... listening for a red flag. The red flags will pop out over time without this strategy of yours. There's that old saying sometimes used in sports ... you can't focus on not losing ... you have to try to win ... Those aren't the same. I worry you're dating in a paranoid and defensive mindset of not losing. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 I wish you many dates where the wowan won’t shut up for one second. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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