Frazzle Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 I met a girl at a Meetup event last week and hit it off. I asked for her number and immediately texted her the next day. She seemed pretty happy to talk to me and even shared photos of her dog. I asked her to grab dinner this weekend and she asked if she could bring her roommates (more than one apparently). These scenarios are running through my head: 1) Does she know this is a date or know I'm interested? I'm not sure if I made my intentions clear enough. Why else would I ask for her number and start texting her the next day. 2) Is this her way of rejecting me nicely? 3) Does she not feel safe around me since she's only known me for a week? And does she want her roommates there to get a second opinion on me? Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 She sounds naive. How old is she? Tell her straight up that you asked her for a date because you want to spend time with her specifically. Tell her that you prefer to see her alone. If she wants to cancel, so be it. This way you put the ball squarely in her court, and you'll either have your date or you'll save yourself a bunch of frustration. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 option #2... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 I would just not reply to her. I mean, if she doesn't want to date you, then don't accept a date, and then you'd end up probably paying for them all. Or you could write back and say, "So you want me to date all your friends too?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tagalz Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Your options is well thought out and in this case I would just go for it and go out with her roommate. Think of it as a positive way of letting her friends know you better. It's hard to tell if it's her way of rejecting you nicely because she might be back and forth when it comes to you so she needs her friends to help her decide. Maybe her roommate are going to talk about you when they get home? who knows My opinion is that you went for it too quick, meaning you should have not texted her after a day. Maybe it was better to wait 2-3 days. OR ask her to come with you on the next meetup. Usually rushing won't lead to anything and that's why you want to be with her a couple of times so she feels comfortable around you. That's however not too late. Atleast she agreed to hang out with you that's gotta be something! Go with her roommate and if you have a chance to speak to her alone say that you want to have a date with her next time you meet up. See what she says. Worst case is if she says "No" but then don't get sad just take it and ask to be her "friend" instead. If she says "Yes" congrats man! Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 I'm putting my money on she wants to have an orgy. Theres no other logical conclusion. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Frazzle Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 She sounds naive. How old is she? Tell her straight up that you asked her for a date because you want to spend time with her specifically. Tell her that you prefer to see her alone. If she wants to cancel, so be it. This way you put the ball squarely in her court, and you'll either have your date or you'll save yourself a bunch of frustration. She's in her late 20s. What I don't get is why don't people just do it the proper way if they're not interested.... ala ghosting or saying you're busy Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Yes, option #2. I could not fathom bringing along my friends if I guy I liked asked me out. She knows it's meant to be a date, but she just wants to be friends with you, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 I'd be straight up with her & say something like Apparently I wasn't clear. I wanted to go on a date with you -- one on one you & me. Frankly I can't afford to treat you & multiple roommates of yours to dinner & don't really know how to take your request to bring other people along. If you don't want to date me just say so. If you want to hang out as friends & that is why you are adding all these other people to the mix, that is your choice. I'll stop by & meet you & your roommates for a drink, Dutch treat, but I don't want to be just your friend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Only go out on the date if you are into her as a friend ... I remember one date I went on ... but it was probably the third date ... in which a woman brought her sister. But I got that ... the woman I was dating was really naive and hadn't dated before ... Sister was much more socially skilled. Sister asked questions, made conversation and only later did I realize, OMG, sister was screening me. I wasn't offended at all and sister moved out of the way. So if you're into making friends, go on the group date ... if not don't ... BTW: there is something to be said for expanding your network of women friends ... as a dating strategy for meeting other women. Actually using meetups not just to find dates but to find fun people to hang out with is a great thing. Those fun people you meet ... often know other fun people who would be a good date. There's a small chance she's merely going slow ... or got burned on last relationship and wants to make sure she has other eyes on the guy she goes out with. Very small chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Does she expect you to pay for her friends as well? This one sounds like a cold fish that needs to be thrown back into the ocean... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Does she expect you to pay for her friends as well? This one sounds like a cold fish that needs to be thrown back into the ocean... I'm gonna steal your phrase Poutrew. Hilarious! Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Bring a friend. Have some drinks at the restaurant and have fun with it. Don't pay for anyone's dinner but your own. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Not worth responding to. You are friends zoned, I would move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Not worth responding to. You are friends zoned, I would move on. totally 100% agree 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 Not worth responding to. You are friends zoned, I would move on. A counterpoint, if he goes and he doesn't take it seriously and just enjoys himself, he'll probably learn something. OP just don't pay for her dinner or anyone else lol Link to post Share on other sites
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