thepeopleschampion Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 Long story short - Me (32) Her (23). Amazing personality, we clicked from day one... things were going great for 6 weeks, texting everyday... good morning good night... and she even started calling me babe. She introduced me to her brother, told her mom about me, invited me to few events - met some of her cousins.. everything is good. THAN... last week (sunday) - she got drunk and was hungover - but her texting and the way she talked to me changed! - in one day... I was confused... I didn't push it too much, but it was starting to agitate me... I'm a Leo shes a ... capricorn.. not sure if that matters but hey why not add that in here. I asked her what was going on .. she finally told me after a few days.. stating her friend passed away, dealing with family drama, dad drama, and she has to move in a few days. I got it.. and told her I am here for you, I don't expect much back... I been in her shoes we all have bad times (but while we were talking in the 6 weeks.. she was going thru dad drama and family drama). Me being a nice guy.. I wanted to cheer her up .. I sent her flowers to her home... her reply was "I am home. You made my day!!" - where is the thank you haha.. besides the point... I also, wrote her a letter -- happy letter no lovey dovey stuff.. and sent it to her address.. not sure if she got that yet ... but I told her I was there... she still was acting different.. so I told her I was going to back off and give her some space... which I did I didn't text her... A few days go by and she texts me "I am at starbux and thinking about you... three guys come in that work for BMW and it was crazy...thought about you"... I work for BMW... I just replied yup BMW is the best! A few more days go by and she texts me "oh so you ignoring me means backing up. Ok Lol" ... I responded with ... giving you space... A few more days go buy and she writes me a long message stating she is sorry for acting distant that she never had someone support her when going thru things, blah blah blah... that its hard for her to open up and doesn't want me to get involved in her drama... I replied lets meet up in person. I'm an adult ... I need to either see you or talk over the phone so I can see some emotion... My question is... Do I give her another chance or do I just move on and be a dick... like they say nice guys finish last... but I really was diggin this chick.... What do I ask if i meet up with her.. I may be over thinking it.. one side is saying to forgive her (which would be the little angel) and the other side is like yea forgive her, use her and treat her like **** (devil side - aka A$@hole side haha). Anyone ? Thank you for reading happy friday to everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 (edited) You're investing way too much in her, way too quickly. Everyone has an amazing personality in the beginning. Part of that amazing chemistry is because you don't know each other and it's fun to learn about someone. Plus she's young and probably attractive. But non-stop texting has made it to wear there is no real newness anymore. Don't talk all day non-stop like this unless you're in a relationship. There's no mystery about you, no challenge. The drama excuse is just that. An excuse. She may not even know why she's losing attraction. You need to back off a lot. Save communication for setting up dates and that's it. Slowly get to know her. She's TWENTY-THREE. She doesn't have her life in order and women in that age bracket get new crushes every month. So don't go in with an outcome in mind because chances are it will not last. Edited March 15, 2019 by TheFinalWord 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 A woman who's interested makes no mistake about it and is anxious to see you/talk to you. A woman who's not, doesn't. I think you already know the answer here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thepeopleschampion Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 Hell yea! Love the response.. thank you .. I needed that ... back to being a ho haha... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hercules22 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 yeah it sucks when that happens and then you meet other people u dont connect with it the cycle goes on lol Link to post Share on other sites
Tagalz Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 I'd say I agree with most people's answer. You kinda fcked it up at the beginning when you were texting. Only use texting to set up dates/meeting with her. So at that point you should have not sent her flowers and letters. However, you can decide to go between two routes. 1. Say what you feel. Tell her that you want to meet up and see what she answers. If she says yes go for it and pretend that nothing happened. If after you have met up with her and she keeps texting and coming up with an excuse... cut her off. 2. use her to have one night stand and then leave her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thepeopleschampion Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 I love to hear the responses - Honestly over her at this point... going to go with option be use and abuse... if not on to the next cough already have another date tonight cough... but you are right its not the same after you had a connection with someone. Cheers! Have a great weekend yall Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 (edited) This is one is where we older folks have the advantage: stop the foolish texting. Texting is a high and means NOTHING, zero, absolutely zip, about a real connection. Texting does not bond or build trust. Texting is simply performing. You date to find out what the person is really like! You waste time writing witty lines and trying to be funny and it's completely useless because people can be great at texting--and that says ZERO about whether you have chemistry with the person. You can go either way. I think she's simply flaky or not interested. If you go out again, no excuses ... she shows up or you cut her loose. Edited March 16, 2019 by Lotsgoingon 2 Link to post Share on other sites
allofme Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 People, do you realise she’s 23 she is more likely to be glued to her phone than not. I’m 26 and have just dated some who doesn’t text me everyday and it was haaard. If OP doesn’t text her everyday I bet you she’d drop him the first week. I do agree young girls get crushes every month tho. I do remember all the crushes I’ve had when I was 23-24. Neighbour, tutor, boss, colleague, you name it. I’ve never acted on it but yeah I was restless at hell 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 I'm a Leo shes a ... capricorn.. not sure if that matters but hey why not add that in here. LOL, no. It doesn't matter at all unless you believe in that stuff. She's 23 years old and flighty. That's how young people her age act. She's acting her age. You're at a different stage in your life and while a10 year age difference doesn't sound like much, it's night and day between where YOU are and where she is. She's still got a lot of growing up to do. Date her at your own risk, but the chances are probably pretty high that it won't end well for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thepeopleschampion Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 man this forum is awesome! I appreciate every ones comments - I agree age is a major factor. I also agree with this day and age ..we are glued to our phone. I'm old school I like convos on the phone ... I hate texting personally.... Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 (edited) man this forum is awesome! I appreciate every ones comments - I agree age is a major factor. I also agree with this day and age ..we are glued to our phone. I'm old school I like convos on the phone ... I hate texting personally.... If you allow her to dictate the terms of communication, you are entering her frame and the masculine/feminine dynamic is lost. All you have to do is let her know that you do not text often as you are too busy with your goals. When she texts, ask her on a date. The occasional hello here or there is fine, but full text conversations should not occur. If you think she will ditch you because of that, you're better off. She needs to enter your frame. You're the man. If she ditches you at week 1 because of that you're better off as you haven't invested any time or energy. The alternative is you text non-stop and she loses attraction anyway because of over pursuit. Only in that scenario you've likely invested a lot of time and energy, and probably money too. Women are at their peak hyperagmous state at 22-24. She will always be looking for the next best thing. You can elicit tingles (crush), but recognize she won't feel that long unless you keep her at an arm's length until she is emotionally invested. Edited March 16, 2019 by TheFinalWord 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thepeopleschampion Posted March 17, 2019 Author Share Posted March 17, 2019 Man, how do you know all of this.. Genius! ... I am not going to lie I have reached out to her to hang, she flaked on me the first time.. second time she reached out I flaked out on her than we agreed to meet today. Casual coffee... I'm trying to think if i should play her or if I should just cut her off... what do you think I should say today? honest opinion.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author thepeopleschampion Posted March 17, 2019 Author Share Posted March 17, 2019 Do you recommend that I play her or just cut her off? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 (edited) Cut her OFF! She got wasted last week with you? or without you? If she got bombed without you, she hooked up with someone else, hence the 180. Edited March 17, 2019 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Do you recommend that I play her or just cut her off? Are you not a little old for that nonsense? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thepeopleschampion Posted March 17, 2019 Author Share Posted March 17, 2019 ahhaha trueeeeeeeee Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 (edited) Man, how do you know all of this.. Genius! ... I am not going to lie I have reached out to her to hang, she flaked on me the first time.. second time she reached out I flaked out on her than we agreed to meet today. Casual coffee... I'm trying to think if i should play her or if I should just cut her off... what do you think I should say today? honest opinion.... Glad it's helpful. It's red pill philosophy. Recommend to read the Rational Male by Rollo Tomossi. Probably a PDF version somewhere online. But I have the hardcopy. The bible of dating for men. The main thing on these dates is try not to be outcome oriented. Be free of outcome. Also, you're an older guy, relative to her. So, she expects you to have a career and she does not want to be the most important thing in your life. You can very effectively play off that dynamic. However, eventually, you want it to really be the case that you are too busy to make any woman your mental point of origin. An important man with goals in life is not going to be able to chit chat over text all day. She expects and ironically, it is more attractive to her that you are too busy to text all day. Schedule dates that way you can build attraction and progress things. All you can do over text is lower attraction because you're showing her you're not that busy and also you risk saying something dumb. Whereas in person, if you say something off, you can correct for it. If you're scheduling dates, that shows you have a life and you're busy. It sounds like you went out with her. What was your impression? Edited March 18, 2019 by TheFinalWord 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 Why do you have to play her? Seriously what's wrong with guys these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 You'll starve to death on breadcrumbs Link to post Share on other sites
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