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GF of 1 month, it is already getting complicated or am I overthinking ?


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Old 13th March 2019, 10:25 AM   #16
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Well guys, we just broke up.
Fastest and shortest relationship I've ever had ^^

Thanks y'all for your help ! Best of luck out there.
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Old 13th March 2019, 1:38 PM   #17
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2 times we were drunk.

You were both drunk 2 out of the 3 times you were intimate?


More sex, less drinking. With the next one anyway.
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Old 13th March 2019, 2:16 PM   #18
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Your second post revealed that you were working way too hard ... and the flowers ...dude, flowers work only in the movies. Flowers do not change a woman's mind about whether or not she wants to spend time with a man. Save flowers for after the relationship is really working ... and the person indicates they want flowers ... Sending flowers when she's pulling away--you need to relearn how to respond.

Imagine someone sent you the equivalent of flowers ... So what?! ... Imagine a woman asks you to a $100 dinner ... or say she has an extra car and wants to give a car to you? Are you suddenly attracted to her? ... No! ... And think about it ... you do not want to date anyone who has lost interest and then sees flowers and says, "OMG, I'm changing my mind."

The humor was an early sign of a disconnect. If the person can't get your humor ... especially if you think the humor is so ridiculously the opposite of what you really mean ... then there's a good chance you guys aren't on the same page with your personalities.

You don't need to apologize for having trouble coming ... And her interpreting that as you not thinking she's sexy ... a red flag. She's turning everything into reasons why she's not enough for you.

Quit chasing when someone pulls away ... no notes, no calls ... let them come to you ...
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Old 13th March 2019, 2:48 PM   #19
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The flowers were way over the top. This woman was pulling away.

The reason I told you to dump her immediately was she was blatantly disrespecting you on purpose. She acknowledged the flowers, never said thank you, then immediately posted a picture of her with another guy. No self-respecting man would ever put up with this behavior.
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Old 13th March 2019, 3:47 PM   #20
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The reason I told you to dump her immediately was she was blatantly disrespecting you on purpose. She acknowledged the flowers, never said thank you, then immediately posted a picture of her with another guy.
She could have simply been out on a work related outing, he could be a platonic friend. Opposite gender friends aren't all that uncommon. He said she posted a story about it perhaps he could clarify what it was about.

She acknowledged the flowers without thanking him because maybe she saw it as unnecessary or wasn't impressed with his materialistic way of trying to fix things. Maybe she isn't used to getting gifts. Maybe she's just a bit self centered and not appreciative even downright rude. Doesn't mean he's gotta dump her immediately for it.
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Old 13th March 2019, 9:19 PM   #21
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She could have simply been out on a work related outing, he could be a platonic friend. Opposite gender friends aren't all that uncommon. He said she posted a story about it perhaps he could clarify what it was about.
I don't know. I'm of a different generation so maybe this is why I feel differently, but if I liked and respected the guy and I was just crazy busy out with a work obligation, etc., I would not be posting on social media because I know it's bad form. I would hate for a man I was dating who I really liked to question my feelings for him or question my intentions. It's rude to me.

You don't have a second to text a quick 'OMG thank you so much, I'm out with work friends I'll call you on my way home' but you have time to post something on social media? To me it speaks volumes about interest for the other person or just general respect for someone else's feelings. Neither of which is good.

So when people say 'maybe they were just busy with work obligations, chill' I don't buy it.
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Old 14th March 2019, 4:02 AM   #22
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Turns out she was just mad at me and disappointed. She didn't reply to my calls but only to my messages because she wanted to avoid to talk about it as she wasn't ready yet. She needed time and space.

The flowers were sent with a note in it, maybe it was over the top or too late but I wanted to do it and I did it.

She said she was hurt by my words and my behaviour. She didn't feel loved or cared even if I was really cute with all the little other things I did with/for her. Thus she pulled back and was afraid to get hurt again.

I explained my position and my feelings but it was like talking to a wall. I told her that we should communicate better and resolve things like adults but it had no effect. I guess she was very mad In a nutshell, she wanted to stop because she didn't have the courage to try it again and be disappointed again. She was sad and said it was a pity because she never met someone who had so much in common with her.

On my side, I was a bit sad and still am. Lots of friends who "know" her said it was good thing ending now because she'll make me depressed on the long run. I am not sure if I want to hear what they've to say because I had a good feeling with her. We had so many things in common that I thought that she did a background check on me and learnt all the things I love or like :P

I'm gonna pull back a bit, think of it, talk around me and I'll see if I really want to fight for her or nope.
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Old 14th March 2019, 4:18 AM   #23
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I think she just realized you are not a match for her, and vice versa. She has already lost interest after a month and that usually doesn't bode well for a sustainable reconciliation.

Sorry OP. I think you would be best to accept the break-up and move along.
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Old 14th March 2019, 10:53 AM   #24
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Let's see how my feelings evolve...
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Old 14th March 2019, 12:04 PM   #25
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Hey guys, thanks for your feedback, here's a little update :

So i've been trying to call for the past 2 days, we agreed to call today afternoon but didn't happen either.

In the meantime I've sent her a bouquet of roses with a cute little message in it. She sent me a picture of the box but didn't say anything afterwards.

I had like no news for the next 5 to 6 hours. I sent her a text asking if I should still expect the call because I'm tired and will go to sleep.

A minute later, she posted a story on Instagram of her in a restaurant with one of her colleague, John. I am really not the jealous type at all and I don't mind at all but not responding me for hours, not returning my calls and not even saying thank you for the flowers makes me really doubt about this whole thing.

I get that she's doing this only to piss me off but I don't accept this kind of behaviour. We are grown up and we can communicate as adults.

Therefore, I'll have discussion with her (If I succeed) and let her know what I think of this and we'll see.
So at this point, Id really be calling it a day. You send flowers, she doesn't even say thank you but she's got plenty of time for John.

It doesn't get any better at this point, and you calling her just pushes her away.

The only thing to do is show her how much self respect you have. But you have to mean it.

Let her know that you want her, but it's not quite taking off. She's obviously a bit confused, so your going to fully go your own way, and if the confusion clears for her she can reach at to you.

This usually works, but bear in mind you'll most probably be straight back at this point before long.

I wouldn't advise emotional investment with this one, keep her number but date other women.
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Old 17th March 2019, 8:31 PM   #26
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Hey Guys,
What a ride ! Just a final update on this.
Thanks again for all of your feedback, I appreciate it.

Most of your were right about her, and what my friends told me is becoming my reality.

So I saw her again 3 days after we broke up. We had a discussion and I've been very honest about my feelings. Our conversation was surprisingly very very good and we clicked right away.

She really loved what I told her and she said that she'll think about it. We had a good time and I dropped her in a restaurant and I went home.

A few hours later, we continued talking on Instagram and I was looking for place to go that night for some drinks with friends. She proposed me to come because she was already in a bar with some of her friends and I went there with my friends. We had a good time and around 2.30 am she asked me to come to a club to dance with her.

I accepted and I shouldn't have ... How naive am I ? So we went to this club and I felt like I was alone, she wasn't paying attention to me anymore and just went on enjoying herself and drinking. I was quite frustrated and I felt like I was wasting my time. She started dancing with a young guy, and there was flirt involved. I told myself I won't do anything but I couldn't keep myself from telling the guy to stop even though I had no right anymore but that was being so disrespectful towards me.

She hated my intervention, told me I am not your girl, basically don't **** up my night... I was quite furious because she's the one who told me to come and dance with her but she's ignoring me since we've got there and now she was flirting with another guy. We spent 1 more hour in the club and the young guy came back and he was touching her legs, waist but I didn't say anything. Then he left and we left with her group of friends as well.

The next day, we were supposed to go watch a movie together and I received a text from at 10pm telling me that she really enjoyed our conversation but my behavior was unacceptable, I acted possessive and that she really didn't like it. That it was really over now and bla bla bla.

Texted back saying that it was for the best that we stop it right now.

So yeah, I was perceived as the bad guy even she was the one flirting with others, letting others touch her while I am just standing next to her. I rarely felt so bad. I reckon I shouldn't have talked to the guy but hey that's very provocative. Either you don't ask me to come and enjoy your night or if you want me to come then at least look at me...

I'm glad it's over, this could have been way worse and could have impacted my life in a very bad way.

Thanks for reading !
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