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I give up


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 12th March 2019, 12:04 AM   #1
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I give up

I havenít posted on this site in a long time. But this dating story
Just had to be told.

So I setup a date from an online site. We chit chat a little but not too much leading up to the date. I confirm at 12 PM the day of the date. I Am literally in the parking lot of the restaurant I selected and this woman cancels on me with 45 minutes to go before our date. She text me that sheís not ready today and her nerves got the best of her.

Absolutely on believable! But I am convinced now beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.
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Old 12th March 2019, 12:14 AM   #2
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I feel your pain.... Much too many useless, time wasting, and ignorant people
online dating. Have wasted much too much time with it and am pretty much done....
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Old 12th March 2019, 12:17 AM   #3
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Suggestion: set up a casual coffee date first, e.g. at afternoon or lunchtime. Then, IF you're both still into it set up the dinner date. Possibly they would be less likely to bail.


Full disclosure: I'm not dating.
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Old 12th March 2019, 12:17 AM   #4
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There are plenty of women on dating sites purely there to stroke their egos and gain followers. But why, as a most excellent gentleman, should you be influenced by random women?
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Old 12th March 2019, 1:11 AM   #5
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She text me that sheís not ready today and her nerves got the best of her. ... I am convinced ... that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.
Hi john9999, that's frustrating, but it doesn't mean she didn't intend to meet. That she agreed to meet you shows intention to meet. That she canceled and said her nerves got the best of her shows that she got nervous. This was hard for her. If you can be patient, you could try to reschedule. She might be a great person who is just really shy.
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Old 12th March 2019, 5:46 PM   #6
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I can see how someone would feel anxious meeting a total stranger. Try doing vid chat first. If they are comfortable with that, they will feel more relaxed to meet you.
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Old 12th March 2019, 9:19 PM   #7
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But I am convinced now beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.
It's not gender specific. We also have plenty of single women here who complain about men who never intend to meet them in real life. I think there are just a lot of time wasters of either gender.
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Old 12th March 2019, 10:50 PM   #8
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yep feeling that way now aswell dating doing my head in only thing for me to look forward to is my holiday in a few months
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Old 12th March 2019, 11:00 PM   #9
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I am convinced now beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.
Itís not only women, it goes both ways...
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Old 13th March 2019, 1:16 AM   #10
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If you didn't go 45 minutes early, you wouldn't be so disappointed. It's online dating, if you aren't blase blah about it, if you have high expectations, there is a high chance that your experience will make you feel like dirt. This is true for anyone who dates online. If you have expectations, that energy leaks through the way that you interact.

And really, she gave you a whole 45 minutes notice when she cancelled. A lot of people (men and women) will just blow you off and wait until you are at the restaurant calling them to tell you. Or they just ghost you. Online dating sucks like that. Don't give up on dating, but also don't take online dating quite so seriously or you will keep feeling like a shmuck.
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Old 13th March 2019, 6:01 PM   #11
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Yeah man you got there too early. I was in a similar situation twice. I left my place and drove 5 minutes down the road before she texted to cancel. The other time I stopped at a store before I was supposed to go to her place. Then she texted she's stressed and had to cancel...
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Old 13th March 2019, 10:02 PM   #12
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Absolutely on believable! But I am convinced now beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.
So stop using on-line dating, go meet women in "real life".

I tried on-line dating (once) and it was crap, went back to meeting women in real life situations and I was so much more successful.
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Old 13th March 2019, 11:38 PM   #13
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It's not easy for some girls to meet up with guys, some are not confident and they are shy.

Like someone else said further up, try again with her but something casual. Something that isn't face to face. Try an activity.
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Old 14th March 2019, 9:52 AM   #14
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if op was a woman responses would havr been harsher. why do women get away with this inconsiderwte behaviour?!
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Old 14th March 2019, 10:01 AM   #15
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if op was a woman responses would havr been harsher. why do women get away with this inconsiderwte behaviour?!
What do you suggest we do? Call for her public beheading?

It's pretty common knowledge that there are tons of flakes of both genders on dating sites. His story isn't new and it isn't unique - it happens to men AND women every single day.
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