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I give up


john9999

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I haven’t posted on this site in a long time. But this dating story

Just had to be told.

 

So I setup a date from an online site. We chit chat a little but not too much leading up to the date. I confirm at 12 PM the day of the date. I Am literally in the parking lot of the restaurant I selected and this woman cancels on me with 45 minutes to go before our date. She text me that she’s not ready today and her nerves got the best of her.

 

Absolutely on believable! But I am convinced now beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.

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I feel your pain.... Much too many useless, time wasting, and ignorant people

online dating. Have wasted much too much time with it and am pretty much done....

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mark clemson

Suggestion: set up a casual coffee date first, e.g. at afternoon or lunchtime. Then, IF you're both still into it set up the dinner date. Possibly they would be less likely to bail.

 

 

Full disclosure: I'm not dating.

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There are plenty of women on dating sites purely there to stroke their egos and gain followers. But why, as a most excellent gentleman, should you be influenced by random women?

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She text me that she’s not ready today and her nerves got the best of her. ... I am convinced ... that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.

Hi john9999, that's frustrating, but it doesn't mean she didn't intend to meet. That she agreed to meet you shows intention to meet. That she canceled and said her nerves got the best of her shows that she got nervous. This was hard for her. If you can be patient, you could try to reschedule. She might be a great person who is just really shy.

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I can see how someone would feel anxious meeting a total stranger. Try doing vid chat first. If they are comfortable with that, they will feel more relaxed to meet you.

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But I am convinced now beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.

 

It's not gender specific. We also have plenty of single women here who complain about men who never intend to meet them in real life. I think there are just a lot of time wasters of either gender.

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yep feeling that way now aswell dating doing my head in only thing for me to look forward to is my holiday in a few months

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I am convinced now beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.

 

It’s not only women, it goes both ways...

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crispytoast

If you didn't go 45 minutes early, you wouldn't be so disappointed. It's online dating, if you aren't blase blah about it, if you have high expectations, there is a high chance that your experience will make you feel like dirt. This is true for anyone who dates online. If you have expectations, that energy leaks through the way that you interact.

 

And really, she gave you a whole 45 minutes notice when she cancelled. A lot of people (men and women) will just blow you off and wait until you are at the restaurant calling them to tell you. Or they just ghost you. Online dating sucks like that. Don't give up on dating, but also don't take online dating quite so seriously or you will keep feeling like a shmuck.

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Yeah man you got there too early. I was in a similar situation twice. I left my place and drove 5 minutes down the road before she texted to cancel. The other time I stopped at a store before I was supposed to go to her place. Then she texted she's stressed and had to cancel...

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Happy Lemming

Absolutely on believable! But I am convinced now beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many women who participate in online dating sites but really have no intention of meeting.

 

So stop using on-line dating, go meet women in "real life".

 

I tried on-line dating (once) and it was crap, went back to meeting women in real life situations and I was so much more successful.

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MeadowFlower

It's not easy for some girls to meet up with guys, some are not confident and they are shy.

 

Like someone else said further up, try again with her but something casual. Something that isn't face to face. Try an activity.

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Mrs._December
if op was a woman responses would havr been harsher. why do women get away with this inconsiderwte behaviour?!

What do you suggest we do? Call for her public beheading?

 

It's pretty common knowledge that there are tons of flakes of both genders on dating sites. His story isn't new and it isn't unique - it happens to men AND women every single day.

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She told you that her nerves got the better of her which is not that uncommon actually. I guess if you did a full investigation of all the flakes a lot of them will have flaked due to anxiety. Big butch guys and fiesty little girls all get very nervous when they have to step out from behind that screen and for some they just duck out and flake.

A date is a big deal. You have to bare your soul and someone may just come along and go "Nah", no wonder people get scared.

I would give her another chance.

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It's not easy for some girls to meet up with guys, some are not confident and they are shy.

 

Like someone else said further up, try again with her but something casual. Something that isn't face to face. Try an activity.

 

 

 

Hi Meadowflower,

 

 

by the way I have not forgotten and hope to chat to you here when I get permission to message!

 

 

Regarding this post, yes I agree with you, I would not hold it against someone for not showing up for a date,

 

 

again funnily enough this is something that I would actually like in a girl. Ok I know the cancelling of the date is annoying and an inconvenience, but to my mind pulling out of the date shows a little shyness and vulnerability and I am thinking, hey I would really like to chat to this lady, and that if she is nervous well we are on the same wavelength!

 

 

I know it could be a different agenda too and perhaps the girl is only playing games, but yes I think giving the benefit of the doubt and giving another chance for a date could be worth a go.

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TheFinalWord

OP online is riddled with mental disorders, women on the rebound, and excessive flakiness. There's a reason they aren't being approached in real life. Try to set up a vid chat first to gauge what you are dealing with. Half of them don't look like their snap-chat filtered pics.

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