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GF doesn't like Marijuana


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Old 12th March 2019, 11:30 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by Wallysbears View Post
You can research all you want. You can show her all the proof you want. She doesn't like it and she doesn't HAVE to like it.

Your choice is the pot or the relationship with her.

We can debate all day long if it is beneficial, prescribed, helps you, etc. and she can STILL decide it is a deal breaker for her.
The whole point is that we are on a cycle
I love you > 4 months later > "I can't be around this, this is a deal breaker" > 3 - 10 days later > "Do you want to come by and get it on?" > 2 hours later "I love you"

If it were deal breaker in her heart of hearts, she would've stopped talking to me years ago.


And that is part of a relationship, there is always something not to like. Some of my female friends say "I love my BF / husband, I wouldn't want anyone else, but I have a list from here to the moon of things I don't like"
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Old 12th March 2019, 11:38 AM   #47
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OP doesn't want to pick - he wants both.

For me personally, hard drugs and any excessive anything (not just daily - binge drinking for instance) is a hard pass.

I could compromise on marijuana only as a recreational activity or as a medicine away from my kids that does not affect me or the relationship, if all else in the relationship goes well and if I've been told in advance.

OP, your gf doesn't seem to be totally against it on principle so there might be room to get a compromise as long as it's all on the table.
There have been many instances in my life where I was told "one or the other" i.e. "play baseball or play soccer" "go to college or get a [white collar] job" "work in finance, or be a creative type" ..... and in all instances I had both. Asking me to pick one is like being as which child I want to survive, this isn't Sophie's Choice I believe all of us can make it out of the camp alive.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084707/
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Old 12th March 2019, 11:46 AM   #48
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See your own post #7. Medical marijuana is different from what you’re doing to get high though.
So you’re getting medical prescriptions in a place where medical marijuana is illegal?
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Old 12th March 2019, 11:53 AM   #49
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There have been many instances in my life where I was told "one or the other'
I get that. In that instance though, it's out of your hands.
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Old 12th March 2019, 11:56 AM   #50
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I gave up drinking because I was powerless over it and I had ruined a relationship that meant a lot to me
you're not even comparing apples and oranges, you're comparing apples and baseballs

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If she doesn't want someone who self medicates with pot then so be it.. you need to get on the same page with her not us...
I have an Rx, it's not self medication.

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Did you smoke pot before you tried it for nausea ?
No, in fact until I did the research I was 100% against marijuana, and capriciously used terms like "weed addict" as well

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Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
so the compromise you have in mind is you don't change a thing and she has to change and accept it ?

That seems to be the way I'm reading this thread, you have all your bases covered on why it's okay to smoke and she doesn't...
Willingness to restrict smoking to a certain time of the day is a compromise, me researching vape pens that don't make a smell is a compromise, me staying faithful to her while whenever she goes a few days without talking to me is a compromise.

If I said to her "you should give up Catholicism, I don't dispute the fact that it helps you, and I can't name a specific way in which it has negatively influenced you life" NOBODY would say "she's just making excuses" or "she goes to church regularly therefore she's obviously she's a fanatic", everyone would say "that's ridiculous" --> The difference is that we haven't been spreading lies about religion for the last 3 generations.

Be honest, if instead of of Marijuana I took mood stabilizers for bi-polar everyday [which unlike weed are physically addictive] , would anyone say "you're making excuses", would anyone try to explain away her egocentric position ABSOLUTELY NOT
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Old 12th March 2019, 11:57 AM   #51
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So you’re getting medical prescriptions in a place where medical marijuana is illegal?
My Rx is from another state
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Old 12th March 2019, 12:13 PM   #52
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It seems like she has a problem with the marijuana itself, as you mentioned she hasn't noticed any negative side effects.

If she can't accept your use of it, then she isn't accepting YOU or your choices 100%. Plus you said it benefits you, how can a 'loving' gf hate on something that makes you better?

I wouldn't spend my life with someone who refuses a part of who I am. It's all or nothing baby.
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Old 12th March 2019, 12:13 PM   #53
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My Rx is from another state
Are you sure you live in DC?
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Old 12th March 2019, 1:01 PM   #54
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If she is not accepting this with the medical prescription, she's jeopardizing your health.

You profess that you love her & want to keep her in your life & smoke too. That is not going to happen. She is too short sighted. You have to choose. In your shoes I know which I'd pick but the decision is yours. You can't have both her & the life saving medicine. Think about how loving she isn't, if that is the choice she is foisting on you.
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Old 12th March 2019, 1:14 PM   #55
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Yes, I guess since it's an incompatibility, one of you will have to decide.

It's one of those 'love doesn't conquer all' situations where neither of you will get what you want if you can't reach a compromise that works for both.

Sorry you're both finding yourselves in this situation.
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Old 12th March 2019, 1:17 PM   #56
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You have a brain tumor, but you want to get married? Pot isn't going to make it go away. Is it not operable?
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Old 12th March 2019, 1:58 PM   #57
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I'm having more and more trouble following this thread...
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Old 12th March 2019, 2:09 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by Coup La-La View Post
There have been many instances in my life where I was told "one or the other" i.e. "play baseball or play soccer" "go to college or get a [white collar] job" "work in finance, or be a creative type" ..... and in all instances I had both. Asking me to pick one is like being as which child I want to survive, this isn't Sophie's Choice I believe all of us can make it out of the camp alive.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084707/
You are missing the point here that SHE has a choice here also. You may want BOTH but it sounds as though she does not. You cannot MAKE her accept you smoking pot. It could and may very well be a deal breaker for her. You need to come to terms with this.
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Old 12th March 2019, 2:52 PM   #59
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You have a brain tumor, but you want to get married? Pot isn't going to make it go away. Is it not operable?
Seriously??? You're suggesting that he undergoes an invasive and dangerous surgery just because his gf doesn't like that he smokes pot? Dumbest idea I've ever heard.

And yes, cannabis has shown to shrink tumours of all sorts, including 'deactivating' the overgrowth that causes tumours in the first place.

Last edited by Hopeful30; 12th March 2019 at 2:55 PM..
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Old 12th March 2019, 3:01 PM   #60
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I actually was sort of wondering if it was meaner then that. the GF may be picking on the pot smoking to not have to deal with the brain tumor. It sounds way more socially acceptable to say I broke up with you because you smoke pot rather then I'm dumping you because you have a medical problem.
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