LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Asking fiancee why pics of her ex still on social media


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree70Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10th March 2019, 9:56 AM   #1
Established Member
 
Lobouspo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: somewhere in The Land of Enchantment
Posts: 942
Asking fiancee why pics of her ex still on social media

So last night my fiancee was ordering some stuff on Amazon and jokingly said she saw something pertaining to my ex on my phone. (Nothing of ex there btw)She then seriously said if something was there she would cancel the wedding. Ok whatever point taken. My ex lives in Europe and I'm in the U.S., but whatever. Backtrack a few months ago, I had a pic of me in front of Eiffel Tower and Big Ben. Just pics of me NOT WITH MY EX. She was upset about them because it was a trip where the pics were taken when I went to visit ex in Europe. She still has old pics of her wedding on public setting on FB. Couple of people have asked about them and it always bothered me but I did not want to come off as insecure or jealous about it. This morning I texted her why she still had pics of ex on FB. Nothing accusatoey. Just a simple question. Anyway she got really upset and accused me of pretending to care about her which is hurtful. Is this a double standard? Was I wrong to bring this up??
__________________
"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy
Lobouspo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 10:03 AM   #2
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 30,644
I knew there was going to be a double standard issue when I started to read.

IMO, if they have kids the pics of the ex with the kids should stay but if not then all pic should be scrubbed.

She might not realize the view it gives from the outside when people who are NOT on her friends list view her newsfeed... it only shows her public wedding pics.
So your friends don't see anything but her ex and their wedding when they look at her profile...

Stand your ground on this unless there are kids in the mix.
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 10:10 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Lobouspo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: somewhere in The Land of Enchantment
Posts: 942
Just for clarification, they have no kids together, and the pics arent profile pics, but they are public pics that anyone can see if they scroll down her profile
Lobouspo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 10:16 AM   #4
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 30,644
Yeah, she should archive those and get them off social media...
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 10:19 AM   #5
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 30,644
I'm kinda surprised she didn't scrub them before she starting dating you, generally speaking people clean that type of stuff up after the breakup.. certainly a marriage.
When you go thru a divorce your go thru everything and remove the past to get ready for the future...


She must have a reason to keep them up and public...
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 10:29 AM   #6
Established Member
 
Lobouspo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: somewhere in The Land of Enchantment
Posts: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
I'm kinda surprised she didn't scrub them before she starting dating you, generally speaking people clean that type of stuff up after the breakup.. certainly a marriage.
When you go thru a divorce your go thru everything and remove the past to get ready for the future...


She must have a reason to keep them up and public...
My thoughts exactly. I mean ive never suspected anything was going on still with them but it bothers me especially when other people bring it up
Lobouspo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 10:35 AM   #7
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 30,644
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lobouspo View Post
My thoughts exactly. I mean ive never suspected anything was going on still with them but it bothers me especially when other people bring it up
Her reasons could be anything from her grandma doesn't know she was divorced all the way to she doesn't want to admit that a part of her past is over and she helped make it that way...

The reason isn't all that important, but moving past it is...

Since you are talking about it then maybe this will get resolved..
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 10:58 AM   #8
Established Member
 
Lobouspo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: somewhere in The Land of Enchantment
Posts: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
I'm kinda surprised she didn't scrub them before she starting dating you, generally speaking people clean that type of stuff up after the breakup.. certainly a marriage.
When you go thru a divorce your go thru everything and remove the past to get ready for the future...


She must have a reason to keep them up and public...
Yes, why would she keep them up and be upset with me for something similar but minor in comparison?
Lobouspo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 12:23 PM   #9
Established Member
 
doyathinkso's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 567
Perhaps she has a nasty case of "Do as I say, not as I do".


Have you seen hints of this before?
Might want to pop a drag chute on that fiance thing. Caveat emptor and all that.
__________________
...... and I live in a van down by the river!!!!!
doyathinkso is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 12:30 PM   #10
Established Member
 
smackie9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Surrey BC Canada
Posts: 15,228
I thought you were to be married last summer and were to go on separate vacations a few months later?
__________________

You are a fool if you believe that having each others passwords = trust.
smackie9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 12:47 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Lobouspo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: somewhere in The Land of Enchantment
Posts: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
I thought you were to be married last summer and were to go on separate vacations a few months later?
No the wedding is scheduled for July 2019. We never did go on seperate vacations. It was just something she sorta talked about. Although she is going to a friends wedding in a couple of weeks alone. I'm actually ok with that, because of cost, taking time off work and keeping an eye on her mom while she is gone
Lobouspo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 12:51 PM   #12
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 30,644
If you are getting married in a few months then she would most likely post wedding photos on social media and it would look awkward having both sets out there so she probably has a time frame in her head to delete them, is she testing you ? does she do that to you ?
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 12:52 PM   #13
Established Member
 
smackie9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Surrey BC Canada
Posts: 15,228
She sounds like a free spirit.
smackie9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 1:30 PM   #14
Established Member
 
Lobouspo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: somewhere in The Land of Enchantment
Posts: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
If you are getting married in a few months then she would most likely post wedding photos on social media and it would look awkward having both sets out there so she probably has a time frame in her head to delete them, is she testing you ? does she do that to you ?
No I never have gotten that game playing vibe from her. She is someone that is very attuned to social media though. Meaning as a self expression thing. Like I said if I had any suspicion something was going on, I would be gone. No patience for that type of drama in my life anymore. The double standard issue upsets me. The issue of her having pics of her and her ex puzzles me more than anything I guess
Lobouspo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2019, 1:55 AM   #15
Established Member
 
Lobouspo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: somewhere in The Land of Enchantment
Posts: 942
Fiancee still has pics up of ex on FB...

So update to my prior thread. I texted fiancee a few days ago asking why she still had pics of them up. She got upset saying it was wrong time to bring up subject. Early in the morning before work. We talked about it that night and she said she would take them down. Guess what? They are still up. I guess I just dont understand why she would still have pics up of a guy who was supposedly very abusive toward her.. How should I handle this? Am I being too petty and insecure?
Lobouspo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Fiancee posting somewhat revealing pic on social media Lobouspo Dating 31 25th January 2019 2:14 AM
Liking pics of an ex on social media Lobouspo General Relationship Discussion 5 26th July 2018 11:19 AM
Ex's and social media pics - is there an etiquette? Trail Blazer Dating 25 15th June 2018 10:28 AM
First OLD experience / Do exes "like" pics on social media (IG/FB)? gkly Dating 3 19th June 2016 3:06 AM
When your ex disappears from posting pics in Social Media Gretzky99 Breaks and Breaking Up 7 4th November 2015 11:15 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:12 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.