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Same old, same old


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Online dating, again.

 

I have this guy I'm talking to who lives not far from where I do. He's been pushing to meet and I'm taking my time.

 

Says he's off to Mexico today. But every time I look he's still online. In fact, he's always online. Then he tells me not to get swept off my feet when he sees me online, because he wants to be the one to do that.

 

My question is if he's hoping for this... who is he chatting with all the time? It's not me.

 

I suppose this is more of rant. This is why I hate online dating. What is he pushing me to meet him for if he's chatting up someone else? What is he hoping to accomplish besides getting hooked on someone else before we have our first date?

 

This is why online dating doesn't work.

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I wish men would think about what they're doing online. Want to meet a girl? Quit letting her see you're online chatting up someone else until Midnight every night. Good grief, what do you really think is going to come of it if you don't look at what you're doing?

 

It's no different than meeting a girl in a bar, asking her out and then going to another table to talk with another girl all night.... do you really think you're going to get a date with the first girl? Just because it's online doesn't mean certain rules of conduct shouldn't apply.

 

 

When I meet someone I like online, I don't want to keep talking to everybody else. I guess he's not that interested in me.

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When you meet a guy online, If he is interested in you he will wanna meet & not play any games with you...

 

You will know when he is interested

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I'veseenbetterlol

Online dating does work, I am soon to marry the my fiancé who I met online. Just like in normal dating, you are gonna get flakes. I got flakes meeting in real life and online. Start dating other guys, this one isn't interested. When a guy says "don't get too attached", he is telling you he doesn't want something serious. Also makes him super arrogant, thinking that you automatically like him. I had a guy tell me that and we did not meet online.

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He hasn't even met you yet. There is no reason for him to dive in headfirst with a girl he has yet to meet. In my experience, a lot of the ladies were vastly different than their pictures indicated, so until I got a real feel for someone, I would keep talking to others for sure. You could be a catfish for all he knows. Now, if you guys meet a couple times and you still see him chatting online all the time, then you know he isn't all that into you.

 

He's online all the time though. That makes me think there's someone else who's really caught his attention. It's not like he just checks in... he's glued to the site as far as I can tell.

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Online dating does work' date=' I am soon to marry the my fiancé who I met online. Just like in normal dating, you are gonna get flakes. I got flakes meeting in real life and online. Start dating other guys, this one isn't interested. When a guy says "don't get too attached", he is telling you he doesn't want something serious. Also makes him super arrogant, thinking that you automatically like him. I had a guy tell me that and we did not meet online.[/quote']

 

He meant he didn't want me getting swept off my feet by some other guy before we have a chance to meet because he wants to be the one to do that.

 

Meanwhile he's chatting up somebody else. Needless to say, I'm not flattered.

 

Congrats on your catch.

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It is possible that there is one woman he is really talking to on there but more likely he is just kinda addicted to the site if he is always on there. People scroll through OLD like they do social media sometimes, always looking at matches and pics. I wouldn't worry about it until you guys actually meet.

 

Yeah, I'm leaning toward thinking he's chatting with another woman non stop.

 

I'll meet him but I'm not going to put much into it.

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Expecting men to refrain from being on dating websites before you have even agreed to meet is unreasonable.

 

It ain’t gonna happen and you will be perpetually disappointed.

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I wish people would read things like this and learn something about online dating. See how striking out works? This guy has already pretty much blown it with me. That fast and that easy.

 

I feel like telling him to go fly a kite. I won't. But I feel like it.

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He meant he didn't want me getting swept off my feet by some other guy before we have a chance to meet because he wants to be the one to do that.

 

Until you meet in person and he demonstrates to you that he is sincere and worthy of your trust... you would be wise to take anything a man says with a grain of salt - especially if you meet online.

 

This kind of talk is way too insincere to be taken serious by me... Life is not a fairy tale and it’s a little presumptuous of any man to think he is going to be “the one” to sweep me off my feet. My feet are firmly planted on the ground, that you very much! This kind of talk would make me end all communication...

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Expecting men to refrain from being on dating websites before you have even agreed to meet is unreasonable.

 

It ain’t gonna happen and you will be perpetually disappointed.

 

I'm not expecting him not to be on the site. But from what I've observed he's already met someone he's way more interested in than me since he's online ALL the time. NOT talking to me. Let's not pretend we don't see what we see...

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Until you meet in person and he demonstrates to you that he is sincere and worthy of your trust... you would be wise to take anything a man says with a grain of salt - especially if you meet online.

 

This kind of talk is way too insincere to be taken serious by me... Life is not a fairy tale and it’s a little presumptuous of any man to think he is going to be “the one” to sweep me off my feet. My feet are firmly planted on the ground, that you very much! This kind of talk would make me end all communication...

 

Yes, I feel this way, too. I wasn't flattered, I felt he was being fake.

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You assume that he is talking to someone specific.

 

But honestly you don’t know. Does this site show something different when logged in vs. actively chatting?

 

Honestly, just cancel. You are already negative about him, I don’t things will improve from here.

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Yes, I feel this way, too. I wasn't flattered, I felt he was being fake.

 

I agree.. I am put off when they say big romantic phrases such as these. And you're right, his actions do not match.

 

I'm fine with chatting to multiple people online but don't BS and say 'oh I can't wait to sweep you off your feet' if you're saying that to 10 other women.

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You assume that he is talking to someone specific.

 

But honestly you don’t know. Does this site show something different when logged in vs. actively chatting?

 

Honestly, just cancel. You are already negative about him, I don’t things will improve from here.

 

I don't think they will, either. But I don't call it being 'negative' about him. I'm just observing him and he keeps missing the ball.

 

People overlook too much online, I think. We wouldn't be half as tolerant if people were doing or saying these things right in front of us in real life.

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People overlook too much online, I think. We wouldn't be half as tolerant if people were doing or saying these things right in front of us in real life.

 

Agreed! It seems a bit impatient and possessive to me, even if I try to give him benefit of the doubt and say he was joking or being light hearted about it (or he is 'online' because he is sitting behind a screen waiting specifically for you, and not 10 other women), it would put me off, the fact that he even said that.

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What does "online all the time" mean exactly? I left myself logged in to Discord for three days last week. Anyone looking at my status would have seen me online for that entire time.

 

Even if he is online chatting with other women, he owes you nothing at this point. He's shown interest in meeting, but you have chosen to delay that. Why should he show a level of commitment to you when you aren't even willing to meet him?

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People overlook too much online, I think. We wouldn't be half as tolerant if people were doing or saying these things right in front of us in real life.
This isn't a valid comparison. You haven't met yet. Obviously, if someone were doing this right in front of you, then it means you've already met.
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Excuse moi? You think a man you haven’t even met yet shouldn’t be online cruising for other dates? Why? Sorry to put it bluntly but that’s a 100% unrealistic and may I say a tad delusional.

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Yeah l dunno , l'm thinking the crack was just lighthearted , bit of a joke, l wouldn't even worry about it.

The online thing, l found the same when l was on one , someone you were suppose to be meeting was still on it all the time the women do the same. Some of them were on it 24 7 who knows what they're doing maybe things were just left on god only knows but really if your meeting someone it doesn't really matter until after the fact.

And even then only if it turns out to be someone special.

l'd take it all with a grain of salt if you like him and he wants to meet meet first worry about the rest later.

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Excuse moi? You think a man you haven’t even met yet shouldn’t be online cruising for other dates? Why? Sorry to put it bluntly but that’s a 100% unrealistic and may I say a tad delusional.

 

Omg now I'm 'delusional'.

 

I didn't SAY he shouldn't be online at all or that he owes me anything, but you can gage someone's level of interest online just like you can anywhere else.

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Yeah l dunno , l'm thinking the crack was just lighthearted , bit of a joke, l wouldn't even worry about it.

The online thing, l found the same when l was on one , someone you were suppose to be meeting was still on it all the time the women do the same. Some of them were on it 24 7 who knows what they're doing maybe things were just left on god only knows but really if your meeting someone it doesn't really matter until after the fact.

And even then only if it turns out to be someone special.

l'd take it all with a grain of salt if you like him and he wants to meet meet first worry about the rest later.

 

I don't know, maybe I am being too hypervigilant. One just wants to save oneself time and headache. The older I get the less time I want to waste on people. I don't like dating and sometimes feel unless the next one is the last one I don't want to do it anymore. Maybe I don't believe in anyone, anymore, either. If I ever did.

 

 

On the other hand every time I decide not to trust my instincts I live to regret it because they're ALWAYS right.

 

 

My last boyfriend was someone I was already suspicious about before we met... I was right to be. :(

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He probably does want to meet you, along with other women before or after you too. That's how it works. The "sweeping you off your feet" line was pretty lame. Anyways, just meet up with him and decide afterwards.

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which site? How do you know he's "online" and active vs just having left a browser window or app open?

 

I'm sure there's times he might have left it open. However... that he's always leaving it on is probably doubtful. I can check in at almost any time of the day or night and there he is... he doesn't talk to me when I come online, but if I send him a hello he'll respond right back.

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