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What next with this girl?


mthpp

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Hello,

Met this girl a week ago. Spoke briefly and got her number. Exchanged a few messages the next day. I said I wanted to take her out for drinks and she said she was available on Tuesday. She responses did become slower after I asked.

 

 

We met and spoke for about 3 hours and I thought I liked her.

The situation where I live in the Netherlands is that guys are desperate, so she probably gets asked out all the time and is sick of it. I don't want to be another one of those guys.

But I also don't want to end up in the friend-zone.

So what's next? Would appreciate any advice?

Cheers

Edited by mthpp
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Go out Tuesday, look her int he eye, ask a lot of questions, break the touch barrier if appropriate, and if you like her, make it clear to her that you are interested. Who cares that there are a lot of guys. You're not a lot of guys...you're you. Be OK with who you are and you'll be surprised by how many women will be interested.

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We've already been out on Tuesday. That was my offer to take her out for drinks.

 

 

She probably gets asked out on dates by every guy that offered to hang out, so I'm a little reluctant ask her out on a date straight away.

 

 

I don't know in this case it might be better to try and see her a couple more times....

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It isn't just the Netherlands having that problem (although may be worse there), it is an epidemic over all western society,...Europe, Australia, Canada, and any large city areas in the US. The more sparsely populated areas of the US have it too but not as concentrated.

 

You are already pedestalizing her and viewing her as this high up mission to accomplish and that your life would never be the same if she rejected you. It is the "Please, please, like me!" thing. Which is what desperate is,...and this kind of attitude is what women are sick of.

 

You attitude should be that you are going on the date to see if she measures up to your standard,...that she has to worry if you will accept her. Until you can do that without it seeming fake and contrived, you are just another lost puppy following the girl home hoping she will let you in the house.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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She probably gets asked out on dates by every guy that offered to hang out,
So what? And every guy that does is just as bad as the one that was before him. The more guys she dates just keep making you look even better by contrast if you get your act together. The other guys are helping you.

 

so I'm a little reluctant ask her out on a date straight away.
And there's the rub. You're being guttless just like all the other guys she is tired of.

 

You don't ask for dates. You offer dates as an opportunity for her to spent time with you (not you spend time with her).

 

Get the book I mentioned in my other post.

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The situation where I live in the Netherlands is that guys are desperate, so she probably gets asked out all the time and is sick of it.

 

Don't project your intimidation onto her. You don't know her. You only just met her 7 days ago.

 

She may just be sick of guys who are asking to get sex and wanting her to fulfill their fantasy of who they think she is rather than getting to know her.

 

If she's not attracted to you, then you're going to end up in the friend zone. Nothing much you can do about that--everyone is entitled to their preferences in a romantic partner.

 

Might want to rein in your projections and invest more time getting to know her.

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haha I think I just screwed up texting her. Seriously texting a girl is like diffusing a nuclear bomb these days.

 

I said I really recommend this show. She asked if it was on Netflix. I said I don't think so but I can give it to you on a USB "later on", to which she didn't reply.

 

By "later on" I totally meant at a LATER DATE, i.e. not today, but at least a week later because I'm travelling tomorrow..... she might have understood it as I wanted to see her again.

 

Now I'll just give it a few days without texting her.

Edited by mthpp
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Text her Happy Valentine's Day. Had you asked before now, I would have suggested you get her a little something like a very small box of chocolate ( < $5)

 

instead call her tomorrow & set something up like brunch on Sunday. For now stop trying to create a relationship over text

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You need to ask her out again. I think waiting more than 24-48 hours after a date to ask for a second date is too long. It communicates that you aren't interested. Women like to know where they stand. Well, really anyone does.

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