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Dating after college


matty145

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Looking for advice for dating after college. Kinda freaked out over the idea of having to live in the real world and not being able to go to the bar with my buddies and meet girls that way. Seems like it will be almost impossible to meet girls in the real world especially if you live alone and travel for work a lot. Can you still go to the bar and meet girls that way?

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Seriously? Online dating. Adult ed classes. Work. The gym. Exploring hobbies.

 

The older you get, the less you're going to want to meet women at the bar, dude.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

Of course you can still do that. You may find yourself doing with new friends, but you can still have fun, even out of college believe it or not! ;)

 

I didn't meet my exH until after college. We met at a wedding we were both in. My sister met her husband in high school, but they didn't date until they were both graduated from college.....reconnected at a random party.

 

You never know where life will lead you and where love will find you.

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If you are going to go at it at a bar, go with a mixed group and don't be afraid to ask a lady to dance....dancing will get you laid.

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Having a job & living in the real world opens a host of opportunities, in part because you now have money.

 

 

Yes you can still go to bars. You do however need to change your mindset that the only place to meet people involves liquor.

 

You can meet people in your apartment building. Who is doing their laundry when you are? Same at the local laundry mat.

 

You can join meet-up groups that do things that interest you.

 

You can meet people in the gym or at Church.

 

You can meet people in your building, not necessarily your company but other offices or nearby offices. Who is around when you get your coffee or have lunch?

 

You can meet people at industry events. Go to conventions or trade shows. Go to chamber of commerce meetings & continuing education events.

 

Volunteer doing something you care about, feed animals, raise money to fight disease, support the arts. Get involved in a political campaign.

 

Join your alumni association & go to their events.

 

Do some sort of vacation share house -- either summer at the beach or winter skiing.

 

The world is your oyster. Act like it.

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OMG, you think there aren't any people your age in the workplace.

 

Tons of opportunity to date ... and join a fun hobby ... volleyball, baseball, whatever ... tons of social opportunity. In some ways, better than college because a lot of people really emerged after college. They gain confidence.

 

Find good people at work to hang with ... they have a network ... of people outside the workplace ... you can date at work (though others hesitate on this--I've been a places where lots of people date without problems) ... and the friends at work will have other friends ...

 

Join a gym ... lots of available young people in gyms ... but find a hobby: dance, sports ... lot of young people ... employed young people, open young people. Oh my God, my 20s were so much more fun for dating than my college years. Not even close!

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Happy Lemming
... Can you still go to the bar and meet girls that way?

 

Yes... I've been doing it for over 25 years.

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Happy Lemming
... And don't be afraid to ask a lady to dance....dancing will get you laid.

 

100% true!!

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In high school, dancing was my surefire way to meet women.

 

I love to dance and still do.

 

Try learning swing dancing, salsa, etc..

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mortensorchid

Life is hard after your "childhood" comes to an end. Get involved with your community in some way, join a gym, OLD, research. Whatever you do, two things: 1) Coworkers are not friends - DO NOT socialize / befriend a coworker, have friends platonic or otherwise outside of the workplace. 2) Keep it to yourself - Don't share much about yourself with others you work with other than basic information.

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Happy Lemming
Whatever you do, two things: 1) Coworkers are not friends - DO NOT socialize / befriend a coworker, have friends platonic or otherwise outside of the workplace. 2) Keep it to yourself - Don't share much about yourself with others you work with other than basic information.

 

Re-read this... 100% Agree. If you take nothing else from this forum, heed this advice.

 

Also if a co-worker asks for your help moving, say NO!! Do not assist them with anything outside of work either, home repair, car repair, etc. It will only come back to bite you in the butt.

 

At work, talk only about work-related duties, when 5:00 comes, leave. Do not go to "Happy Hour" or anything else with your co-workers.

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I disagree with the advice to be completely closed off from co-workers. If the WHOLE office is routinely going out, attend. You must show your face occasionally to be viewed as part of the team. Have a soft drink if you like & be the 1st to leave but go.

 

Also be prepared to selectively share with others in the office. They absolutely do not need your life story but it's fine to chime in about your favorite Super Bowl Commercial or the fact that you prefer Pespi to Coke or vice versa. You need to be human not hidden behind a wall of ice & completely stand-offish.

 

That said, there are lines that should not be crossed. Don't date co-workers. Don't spill your guts. You should be warm but mysterious. Unfortunately, matty145 based on your inability to not gush all over that girl from your original thread I fear you will be bad at maintaining boundaries with co-workers.

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So interesting the different perspectives on coworkers.

 

I've had mostly jobs where coworkers became super close friends ... I've been in the wedding of at least two coworkers. At another coworker's wedding, I walked her from her dressing room to the start of her walk down the aisle to meet her groom.

 

I recently had surgery and several of the closest people who checked on me were coworkers. And yes, a number of these are women coworkers. My mentor at work, now retired, is like a close aunt to me ... and yes, she asks me about my dating life and gives encouragement and tips and she LOOKS for women I can date.

 

But I respect that others haven't had the experience I've had at workplaces. I've been lucky to work at places that attracted really good people--often better than the companies deserved!

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