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Date in hospital/after hospital


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Old 15th March 2019, 12:20 PM   #256
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There is a pub next to the hospital. I had my lunch in there. I feel guilty though had a glass of wine with lunch. I just wanted to do it for me. I do feel guilty though.
Great update on your husband. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I love your guilt, Shauna. It's so cute ... I've been urging you to let it go ... but it's part of you and what makes you wonderful. Sometime after this crisis ... you and Ms. Guilt can perhaps schedule a conversation. Tell her to ease up on Shauna.

Did you get those massages yet? Yes, you may feel guilty getting them, but please do it anyway.
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Old 15th March 2019, 3:19 PM   #257
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Why? He’s probably on some heavy meds himself.

The unwind is good for your nerves Shauna. And ‘tis St Pats after all.
I know, I hope the luck of the Irish is rubbing off on him. I've built a little Aer Lingus model and I've put my Aer Lingus teddy next to him. It smells of me (perfume etc) so hopefully he recognises it. Make it a bit Irish, I have a little Irish flag in my bag I might put it up. As for the wine, if this was any other St Patricks day at any other time. We would be drunk and not remembering anything!

I've got some snacks and some bottles of pop for the afternoon. His best friend is coming shortly so I can go eat.
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Old 15th March 2019, 3:21 PM   #258
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Great update on your husband. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I love your guilt, Shauna. It's so cute ... I've been urging you to let it go ... but it's part of you and what makes you wonderful. Sometime after this crisis ... you and Ms. Guilt can perhaps schedule a conversation. Tell her to ease up on Shauna.

Did you get those massages yet? Yes, you may feel guilty getting them, but please do it anyway.
I had some before the wedding and one Monday before the op. I have to admit they are amazing! I just can't justify leaving Ste for a while to go have one. Plus the guilt I'd have.
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Old 15th March 2019, 3:42 PM   #259
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Do you sleep and shower in the hospital? Have you heard from his friends/relatives about coming to visit him?
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Old 15th March 2019, 3:49 PM   #260
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Do you sleep and shower in the hospital? Have you heard from his friends/relatives about coming to visit him?
I sleep in the chair in his room and there is a shower the nurses kindly let me use.

His mum and dad and his best friend come daily. He has his friends from Holland checking in on him.
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Old 15th March 2019, 4:33 PM   #261
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I've eaten, Sitting in a hospital restaurant is actually a nice change than the ward. Do you think I'm weird/crazy staying here constantly?

Ste keeps squeezing my hand when I talk to him. I hope its him saying he is there.
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Old 15th March 2019, 5:16 PM   #262
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He knows you’re there. He hears your voice and so he definitely knows. Our sense of sound is really quite remarkable.
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Old 15th March 2019, 5:35 PM   #263
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I've eaten, Sitting in a hospital restaurant is actually a nice change than the ward. Do you think I'm weird/crazy staying here constantly?

Ste keeps squeezing my hand when I talk to him. I hope its him saying he is there.
I stayed the night the last few nights before my mom passed. Prior to that, I went home to sleep every night because staying over was not really sustainable long term. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. The last thing that I wanted was to get sick and not be able to visit at all...
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Old 15th March 2019, 5:49 PM   #264
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Shauna, there is no weird in your position ... You living at the hospital basically ... no not weird whatsoever ... a student of mine told me her little sister had cancer ... and mom basically moved into the hospital room. Now that's mom and child ... still of course, you are going to basically be at the hospital all the time.

But you can give yourself a break ... go home and sleep ... and get another massage! ....

Maybe there's a way we make you feel guilty for NOT having a massage. Glad you liked them. Have a drink and a massage! ... That should be one of your next goals... a drink and a massage on the same day.
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Old 16th March 2019, 4:21 AM   #265
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One of the reasons I don't want to leave him was something he actually said when we worked together. Its a belief of his. Some back story. On a Friday afternoon, if we had finished out jobs, we could leave at 2pm. We'd be on call but can work remotely. Everyone had finished but me as I was struggling that week, so I couldn't leave early. He was getting up to go and everyone was going for a few drinks.

He turns to me and asks me if I was coming. I said no because I still have a few jobs left to do (This was before we started dating). He put his stuff down. Sits back down and starts helping me finish my jobs. We get them fairly quickly. He turns to me and says "You've not eaten today. You need to eat. I insist I will take you for some food".

We end up in some greasy kebab/chicken place near work. He bought me something to eat and we talked. I asked him why he stayed when he could have left. He replied "We are a unit, a team. If one of us is struggling I see it as the teams job to stay and help. Leave no one behind". It really stuck with me. I offered to repay him for staying and for the food. He said "Just pay it forward to someone else". He even walked me to my car to make sure I got back on. Now he could have left hours ago. He could have gone I'm done I'm off. He didn't he stayed with me until the end. I see it as me doing the same here, if you get me?

What he didn't know was I had hardly ate that week because I was stressed, my ex in Ireland was having a go. I suppose we could class that as our first date, but it was more the humanity he had shown.

So until he is out of danger I'm going to try and stay. I hear him say "Leave no one behind". When he is out of danger and on the road to recovery then I can go back to the old routine where I slept at home and went in to see him.

If I was going to have another drink it would be tomorrow. A pint of Guinness. Its tradition in our family that we have one either Sunday before or if it falls on a Sunday as many as we want. So if his parents come at lunch I can grab some lunch and try and keep the tradition. If not. no worries. I can wait for massages and such. He is more important.

I was looking for after hospital. A mini city break when Ste is up to it. A honeymoon so to speak. I saw some amazing deals. I then remembered travel insurance and travel insurance for Ste is 4 times the cost of the break. So we might need to wait for a while, take a break to York or similar.

Ste did well again last night. Doctors seem really happy. I didn't sleep at all.
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Old 16th March 2019, 4:53 AM   #266
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I've also not kissed him from before the op. I miss doing that. I don't want to do anything whilst he is hooked up to the machines and such. I don't know what pain he is in, so wouldn't want to hurt him more.

I do feel guilty for not kissing but I don't want to hurt him.

Have to say the nurse we've become friendly with has been amazing, she brought me in a full breakfast this morning
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Old 16th March 2019, 6:55 AM   #267
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Hey Shauna,
regarding the kissing, I have no experience what to do or not to do in this situation. But kissing his hand for example should be fine I would imagine? (i know it’s not the same as a “real” kiss)
Talk to him so he can hear your voice, or play him some music that means something to the both of you.

I am glad the nurses are taking some care of you too. Please don’t feel so guilty, you are doing more than a lot of people would have done in your situation. Sending you lots of strength.
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Old 16th March 2019, 9:24 AM   #268
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Hey Shauna,
regarding the kissing, I have no experience what to do or not to do in this situation. But kissing his hand for example should be fine I would imagine? (i know it’s not the same as a “real” kiss)
Talk to him so he can hear your voice, or play him some music that means something to the both of you.

I am glad the nurses are taking some care of you too. Please don’t feel so guilty, you are doing more than a lot of people would have done in your situation. Sending you lots of strength.
I've been told its ok to kiss. I just don't want to hurt him.

Today, Ste's best friend came, said she'd sit with him for a bit, So I've popped home to change the clothes I brought, pick the post up and I've ended up in a take away eating.

Apparently I forgot to pay a bill, now I've been charged £12 Not sure if I can ring up and ask them to remove it. I owed £8.50 on a credit card. One I used to pay for the parking when he was rushed to hospital.
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Old 16th March 2019, 10:34 AM   #269
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I've just read this whole thread and I'm so sorry that you and your husband are going through so much.

You really must sleep. I went through a loved one passing several years ago and I came down with the flu which turned into pneumonia. I hadn't slept or ate properly for weeks and I really think that's why I got so severely I'll. Can you have a doctor prescribe a mild sedative for you just to make sure you're getting some sleep every night? Also it's pretty hard to sleep well in a chair. Are you at least able to use a second chair as a sort of foot rest so that you can kind of recline. Some hospitals have fold away cots that loved ones can use when they stay overnight. I guess if they had anything like that they would have already offered but it never hurts to ask.

I'm really hoping for the best for you both.
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Old 16th March 2019, 11:39 AM   #270
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I've just read this whole thread and I'm so sorry that you and your husband are going through so much.

You really must sleep. I went through a loved one passing several years ago and I came down with the flu which turned into pneumonia. I hadn't slept or ate properly for weeks and I really think that's why I got so severely I'll. Can you have a doctor prescribe a mild sedative for you just to make sure you're getting some sleep every night? Also it's pretty hard to sleep well in a chair. Are you at least able to use a second chair as a sort of foot rest so that you can kind of recline. Some hospitals have fold away cots that loved ones can use when they stay overnight. I guess if they had anything like that they would have already offered but it never hurts to ask.

I'm really hoping for the best for you both.
I do have another chair I can pop my feet on. The doctors here have been really good. The nurses get them to check me regularly. I don't want sedatives. I want to be alert if something happens.

I've got the 6 nations rugby on, being a bit selfish but I'm sure Ste won't mind.
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