LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Did i ruin it or he ghosted me ?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree55Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 16th January 2019, 4:26 AM   #46
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 283
I haven't dated recently, nor have I read all the posts but most.

Text him and say you'd like to meet him in one of his free days and ask him to let you know. Pass the ball to his court.

Then set your expectations low and keep dating other men.
__________________
Never wish sun and moon in the same sky, your whole world will get burnt!
kamani is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2019, 9:15 AM   #47
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 32,661
Quote:
Originally Posted by toomanyquestions123 View Post
Sorry to bother you LS community again, but i do not want to "ruin" this again and i want to know what to do; So yesterday at nine, he texted me saying he just finished work and he's in bed, we chatted briefly and asked me about my day, he then sent me a picture of a burger, i told him order it, he said he doesnt like to eat alone, i told him we can order one day together so u wont eat alone, he told me are u asking me out to my place? i told him not necessarily but possible someday he was like LOL. Does this guy sole purpose is to bring me to his place ? plus he told me on FRIDAY AND WEEKEND he is off and work free, i expect him to ask me out on one of these days right? since the last date was 10 days before. ANY FEEDBACK AND HELP IS APPRECIATED. thank you
Do you want to date him? Are you prepared for his differences?

If you want to date him, reach out & ask him on a date to get burgers out on Friday. Do not order in. If you go to each other's houses he will think you are "on the menu". Given how unsteady you feel as you navigate your way with this guy who is not chasing you the way you prefer, adding sex to this mix right now will only make you bonkers. Don't do that to yourself.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th January 2019, 3:46 AM   #48
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: \
Posts: 406
I dont want to ask him out, I want him to ask me out, i already hinted it out that I'm free this weekend and should chill also and take a break from work. That's what i can do, but i dont want to ask him out because he is the one who was busy for the last 2 weeks. But it would be really weird if he doesnt ask me out this weekend and he is free, i will reconsider things in my mind. I hope he does...lets see if he will...

As for the differences, I need a little bit time to know if i can accept them or no, im still in a dilemma concerning this.

Last edited by toomanyquestions123; 17th January 2019 at 4:24 AM..
toomanyquestions123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th January 2019, 10:12 AM   #49
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 9,138
". . . but i dont have anxiety DISORDER and social anxiety that makes you take pills and act weird in society"

OP, if anxiety is interfering with one or more aspects of a person's life, i.e. relationships or jobs, etc., technically, it would be classified to the level of disordered . . .

Everyone has periods of anxiety, stress, etc. but if the person is otherwise emotionally healthy and it doesn't destroy, interfere with or otherwise cause problems between significant others or jobs, etc., it's just plain old anxiety.

Your anxiety has reached a higher plain.
Redhead14 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th January 2019, 12:30 PM   #50
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 32,661
Quote:
Originally Posted by toomanyquestions123 View Post
I dont want to ask him out, I want him to ask me out, i already hinted it out that I'm free this weekend

In light of the fact that you sent that break up text, I think the ball is in your court. I also think you are being too passive in your own life. You can't sit in your hands & hope that somebody else picks up on your hints especially when you have delivered decidedly mixed messages. Do it your way if you like but I expect you will be dateless. Then again I certainly would not have predicted that he would gloss over the break up so easily, so what do I know?
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th January 2019, 1:02 PM   #51
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: \
Posts: 406
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
In light of the fact that you sent that break up text, I think the ball is in your court. I also think you are being too passive in your own life. You can't sit in your hands & hope that somebody else picks up on your hints especially when you have delivered decidedly mixed messages. Do it your way if you like but I expect you will be dateless. Then again I certainly would not have predicted that he would gloss over the break up so easily, so what do I know?
He just asked me what my plans are for this weekend, i told him will see my parents on Saturday, free for tomorrow. He then changed the subject ... i think i have to do it 😂 maybe tell him in a funny way if he is going to ask me out anytime soon ?
toomanyquestions123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th January 2019, 3:40 AM   #52
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: \
Posts: 406
i finally had the balls and asked him out, i just said wanna do something soon ? he just said: "yes". END OF CONVERSATION lol
toomanyquestions123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th January 2019, 7:42 AM   #53
Established Member
 
Interstellar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 245
You’re insecure. The guy told you everything up front. Heck, he was open and honest to you about his issues and he missed one day and you’re dumping him. I thought women want honesty, this is why men are confuse and give up on dating. Man, you should apologize to him and cook him a nice meal. Sheesh, or just give up on dating altogether. You don’t want someone to play with your feelings? Let me give you some truth medicine, Women do this all the time with men, they play games, they go out with guys they have no interest in, make out with them even though they have boyfriends. Guys don’t know how to play games.

Last edited by Interstellar; 18th January 2019 at 7:47 AM..
Interstellar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th January 2019, 8:20 AM   #54
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: \
Posts: 406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Interstellar View Post
You’re insecure. The guy told you everything up front. Heck, he was open and honest to you about his issues and he missed one day and you’re dumping him. I thought women want honesty, this is why men are confuse and give up on dating. Man, you should apologize to him and cook him a nice meal. Sheesh, or just give up on dating altogether. You don’t want someone to play with your feelings? Let me give you some truth medicine, Women do this all the time with men, they play games, they go out with guys they have no interest in, make out with them even though they have boyfriends. Guys don’t know how to play games.
I already admitted i did a mistake, please read full thread. We re talking again but I am trying to go out on a date with him now. Yesterday, we talked about why i "dumped him", he told me that he was furious from the message and told me that as a part of his anxiety disorder treatment, he tends to give full focus on one thing at a time especially when it comes to his work, he then asked me what if i had an accident ? wouldnt you want to make sure first that im okay before such a message. He is honest and straightforward, i dont think he is a liar at all.

Last edited by toomanyquestions123; 18th January 2019 at 8:30 AM..
toomanyquestions123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th January 2019, 9:31 AM   #55
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 32,661
All this beating around the bush is clearly getting you no where. I genuinely think he still doesn't know where he stands in light of the break up misunderstanding.

It's already Friday. By now you probably missed your window for tonight as he most likely already has plans.

I just don't understand what harm will come from saying "hey you wanna grab a burger with me at Burger Place on Main?" It's 2019. The 1950s are over. A woman is allowed to set up the date.

Even if he says no, then you can write him off knowing you tried. If he says yes, because you set the boundaries, burger out in public rather than take out or delivery to his place he will get the message that you are not "easy." Where is the downside? Why are you so loathe to take responsibility for your own social life?
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th January 2019, 10:35 AM   #56
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: \
Posts: 406
dOnnivain i already asked him yesterday night if he wants to do something soon and he said yes and that was it...Today, he called me, we were talking and i told him how his lazy day is going, he told me its amazing, i told him if it will keep being lazy till the evening he was like i guess yes, he has no plans and he didnt make plans with me either. I already asked him out yesterday but i cant remind him again.... this will sound needy no ?

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 18th January 2019 at 8:39 PM..
toomanyquestions123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th January 2019, 10:52 AM   #57
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: \
Posts: 406
HELP HELP HELP HELP: he just asked me to come to his place to get wine and watch netflix !!! what's the best answer should be, is it wrong to go to his place on a third date ???
toomanyquestions123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th January 2019, 11:46 AM   #58
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 32,661
Quote:
Originally Posted by toomanyquestions123 View Post
HELP HELP HELP HELP: he just asked me to come to his place to get wine and watch netflix !!! what's the best answer should be, is it wrong to go to his place on a third date ???
Do you want to do something soon is vague. It's a start but not specific.

This is the 3rd time he has tried to get you to come over. The late night movie invite that started all of this. The burger comment & now this.

Netflix & chill is code for sex. Understand that before you decide. If you are OK with sex from this lazy guy go. If you want respect & exclusivity, your response needs to be "I'd love to see you but I'd rather go out. How do you feel about meeting me at ____ ?"
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th January 2019, 11:55 AM   #59
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: \
Posts: 406
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Do you want to do something soon is vague. It's a start but not specific.

This is the 3rd time he has tried to get you to come over. The late night movie invite that started all of this. The burger comment & now this.

Netflix & chill is code for sex. Understand that before you decide. If you are OK with sex from this lazy guy go. If you want respect & exclusivity, your response needs to be "I'd love to see you but I'd rather go out. How do you feel about meeting me at ____ ?"
Yes, i responded exactly the same. He was like i am really tired today and i u understand if you want to go out, letís postpone it then, no worries. I jockingly asked him if i come by will be a gentle, he said u re acting as if i even tried to do something in our early dates. ( he didnt even try to even hold my hands ), then said i promise we will just chill and watch a movie, iím really tired to go out but i really wanna see you. I told him i will think about it then.
toomanyquestions123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th January 2019, 12:01 PM   #60
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 32,661
He's lying. He is just not into you enough to make an effort. Factor that into you're decision. If you want to be respected -- which is what I interpret from your desire to have him ask you out -- do not go over there. Tell him you're happy to wait until he is feeling energized enough for a date out. Don't hold your breath. Plenty of women are happy to be a delivery service for sex. He will quickly find one them & not bother with a woman like you with self respect who actually expects effort from the man she dates. All in all this guy is not worth the trouble you are going through.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
He ghosted... Or did he jennj2481 Dating 12 10th May 2017 8:56 PM
Did he just want to Netflix and chill? Was I ghosted? ToBePampered Dating 40 27th December 2016 3:52 PM
Briefly 'ghosted' someone I was talking to.. did I mess it up for good? sparkle222 Dating 23 24th July 2016 3:56 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:25 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.