Texting a person you're dating

[Alamo657]

Hello,

 

 

I have difficulty maintaining interest trough texting (i don't like it and i'm bad at it), and prefer to set up date/activities where magic can happen.

 

 

 

What's your take on texting while dating? Is it important ? Can it be avoided ? Is it a Darwinien scheme to rule out the weak from the dating world ?

 

 

Thanks !

[Gaeta]

From beginning my bf told me he hates texting so I was warned and didn't expect it from him. He kept in touch by calling a few minutes to touch base, at first I'd say every 2 days then every day. Here we are 3 years later going strong, and we did it without texting. I think you need to say it outloud from the start that you dislike texting so the person doesn't view it as a lack of interest. You also need to keep in touch in a way so you call or email, or whatever is your favorite mean of communicating.

[Cersei]

I admit to liking quick little texts throughout the day if it's an inside joke or a quick good morning, good luck at your appt type text.

 

But a texting misunderstanding almost stopped my relationship from getting off the ground. So I get way more phone calls now and I much prefer that to texting. It's nice to hear a voice.

[d0nnivain]

Texting is a modern thing. It's a good quick convenient supplement but it should not be the main means of communication. I also find the daily good mornings some people find so endearing smothering. I don't have all day to text back & forth with anybody.

 

As much as I don't like texting, sometimes in the middle of the day, it's the least intrusive way to communicate with DH. I still get a warm fuzzy feeling when DH texts me something silly like a love emoji randomly. If he did it every day it would lose the magic but every so often is truly sweet.

[Gretchen12]

Unless you're in a long distance relationship, you're not expected to maintain interest through texting. I've never heard of people who prefer to not see each other and just text. People text in addition to seeing each other. I don't think you have a problem unless the person is refusing to see you.

 

It doesn't replace anything so I see no problems except when people use it to gauge another's interest. It's not accurate. Also not good to fight over text. A lot of misunderstandings can happen because you don't know if the person is angry or just joking.

[Kelliousme]

It's not important at all. But it seems texting compatibility is a thing nowadays. If someone seems disinterested while texting, the other party automatically assumes they're not interested instead of thinking they're a bad texter.

 

I love little texts throughout the day. Fortunately I found someone who felt the same. I don't mind calls either. I've dated a guy years ago who didn't enjoy texting as much. His texts would consist of very simple responds like "ok.", "see you later", "yeah it was okay".. etc. Without emojis or anything like that. At first it was off-putting but when I eventually learned that he's just not a good texter and doesn't enjoy it. He'd rather call me and talk to me on the phone every now and then when he's free or on break.

 

So it varies from person to person.. just find someone who's compatible with you or find someone worth changing for.

[PRW]

I have difficulty maintaining interest trough texting (i don't like it and i'm bad at it), and prefer to set up date/activities where magic can happen.

 

You can't maintain interest via texting,...you can only destroy interest with texting. The phone is for setting dates. You maintain interest by being interesting.

 

Is it a Darwinien scheme to rule out the weak from the dating world ?

You may very well be on to something there. It is in fact the weak, insecure people that want constant affirmation from the other that they haven't been "forgotten" about are the ones that do all the texting. Sometimes I call it "teenager texting".

[smackie9]

It's a art form to be able to flirt and sent the right amount, and the timing through text. No different reading someones body language on a date, you need to follow their rhythm through their amount of texting and how they do it.