XForeverstardust Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 (edited) So I saw my ex a month ago, we gave each other awkward looks and I added him on facebook to show no hard feelings. Anyways, after awhile he saw me in uni and came up to me and started talking, than right after that he started texting me. We kept talking and it sounded as if we were flirting I told him my wallpaper is that of an angel and he said "must be you cause you said Angel". Later on I left and went to the library, he asked me if I was there (guess he saw me) and than came up to me and started talking in person. We started talking about Kim K and he mentioned her fake ass and pulled up a pic... Anyways after that, he started snapping me and would respond in a matter of seconds. So I snapped a picture of me sleeping with a caption relating to school. He responded "damn" to that while ignoring the chat part and I called him out for it and he's like "You look fine", I was like WDYM and he's like "hot is a better term." Anyways I noticed the girl he left me for removed posts of him on her instagram, so I assumed they broke up. I messaged him asking if he's trying to cheat or if he just recently got out of a relationship. Than he's like "don't get ur hopes up, we still together". And I got mad, I was like wtf you were the one flirting... and he says he didn't know what else to say (makes no sense, I was talking about school & NOBODY else responded to the picture snaps...). We got into a fight from there on and blocked each other. This is NOT the first time it happened. We were together in 2015, he left me for some other girl (still together with her). In 2016 he texted me out of the blue, I was still upset and hurt so I did get emotional, than we fought and he blocked. And we talked again randomly in 2017 but it was dismissed quickly. We KEEEP doing this again and again. He was my first true love... and at the time I was hurt. Anyways we always try to be friends or whatever, reconcile, fight, block each other. ALWAYS just him and I who keep doing this. The weird thing is I have never spoken or reconciled with any other ex. I don't understand why we need to establish any friendship between us, we were never friends. It was 4 god damn years ago, we were together for like 5 months & it wasn't even THAT serious. Yet there's something that just keeps making us try to reconcile: 2015,2016, 2017 & 2018..... Why do you think we do it all the time? Is there a deeper meaning to all this? Who TF needs to remain friends with an ex... especially after so long & not even being close friends. He replayed the snaps as well and I thought oh maybe, he didn't read it so wanted to. I asked him "did you not notice the spelling mistake?" Him: I was too distracted Edited December 15, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed photo links Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 You can't be friends because you still have feelings for him. It is best you block him and move on. He's in a relationship anyway so I would ignore him and leave him alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 You always do this because you have never made a clean break. It's OK to stay disconnected off social media. You don't need to give an EX continued insight into your life. Smile & be polite when you see each other in public but that is it. At some point you need to realize that you & he don't' work You gave it multiple tries; just give up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 Op, there is no mysterious "thing" behind your continuous reconciliation. This last reconciliation was incited by YOU. You added him on facebook after the "awkward look" incident. It's like you're also struggling to accept your current feelings as well. You say he was your first true love and then later you contradict yourself by saying your relationship with him wasn't serious. I'm going to guess that it wasn't serious to him because it was clearly a serious relationship for you. Op, there is nothing mysterious behind all this. You are just struggling to let go of him and based on the things he's said to you, i would say that he knows you are struggling to let go. It's unfortunate because it seems pretty clear to me that he doesn't care about you but it is not clear to you. He is using you for his entertainment and you are allowing it. His not so subtle flirtatious comments show that he has very little respect for his current gf. It's sad that you still have feelings for a guy like this. Op, YOU are the one holding on to this guy. Cut the cord and move on. Stop responding to his messages. No more friend requests. Cut the cord completely. If you see him in public, smile politely and continue on your way. Move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kelliousme Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 Yeah.. it keeps happening because you allow it to. I would not want to reconcile with an ex or even talk to him again if he behaves the way your ex does. He has a gf yet he's flirting with you? Come on.. why do you want to be "friends" with a guy like that. Also seems like you still have feelings for him. Those snaps you sent him, I see it as flirting. You flirted, so he flirted back. He probably thinks you want to be with him again lol, I don't blame him. Except here you are complaining that HE'S flirting with you and HE'S saying some BS afterwards like, "sorry don't get your hopes up". You can only blame yourself for being played by someone like him. Not worth it imo. Forget him, move on. Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 Also, i would advise you to stop using words like "we". There is no "we". There is no you and him. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can truly move on from him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 (edited) Yet there's something that just keeps making us try to reconcile: 2015,2016, 2017 & 2018..... Why do you think we do it all the time? Is there a deeper meaning to all this? Who TF needs to remain friends with an ex... especially after so long & not even being close friends. That "something" is not fate, kismet, or being soulmates. That "something" that keeps bringing you together is you fear of not finding someone better which keeps you from burning bridges which you have already crossed. You are each just being each other's fallback plan. You are not meeting enough other more interesting people and so you keep testing the waters. You both are better off severing ties cleanly and moving on. He wants to keep you on back burner, because he can, and to hedge his bets for when things end with his current GF (not surprising at all if he is seeing someone else besides his GF). You are worth more than that. Good luck. Edited December 14, 2018 by Orokotikki typo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 (edited) For some reason, you need validation from this guy. He only gives you sexual validation, but that's it. No validation of other things you have to offer. You want him to see you as more than that, since you gave him sex you want him to appreciate other things you have to offer. But he doesn't. Like you said, there was never a friendship. He's cool to play this game because he has nothing else going on and he gets validation knowing you can't get over him, even though he gave you nothing but sex. It makes him think he must have been so great at sex because that's all he gave you and you can't get past him. Edited December 15, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 Forget the past. What are you going to do going forward? He said "don't get your hopes up." What?! How can you have contact with him after he said that? Doesn't matter if he flirted or initiated. You don't need to respond to his wishes. He knows you desperately want him back. But he told you that's not gonna happen, and he knows he just has to snap his fingers and you're his. How convenient for him to access you for an ego boost when he needs it. Don't give him more access. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 He just likes keeping girls in his orbit, that is all. You keep getting sucked in every time...when are you going to learn? Block/delete/move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author XForeverstardust Posted December 14, 2018 Author Share Posted December 14, 2018 Op, there is no mysterious "thing" behind your continuous reconciliation. This last reconciliation was incited by YOU. You added him on facebook after the "awkward look" incident. It's like you're also struggling to accept your current feelings as well. You say he was your first true love and then later you contradict yourself by saying your relationship with him wasn't serious. I'm going to guess that it wasn't serious to him because it was clearly a serious relationship for you. Op, there is nothing mysterious behind all this. You are just struggling to let go of him and based on the things he's said to you, i would say that he knows you are struggling to let go. It's unfortunate because it seems pretty clear to me that he doesn't care about you but it is not clear to you. He is using you for his entertainment and you are allowing it. His not so subtle flirtatious comments show that he has very little respect for his current gf. It's sad that you still have feelings for a guy like this. Op, YOU are the one holding on to this guy. Cut the cord and move on. Stop responding to his messages. No more friend requests. Cut the cord completely. If you see him in public, smile politely and continue on your way. Move on. It wasn't serious as in it did not last long enough or wasn't like an engagement. He was my first true love meaning my first boyfriend. I have been with several guys later but looking back, I was (at the time) fond of him the most. Also this time, I blocked him. He hurt me so much in the past and tried to do it again. When we reconciled he told me he did care about me so much to the point where he didn't want to hurt me, hence why he had to end it. He told me he still cares and attempted to drag me back in, probably for an ego boost. But this time I never got emotional nor crazy, I liked the attention he gave me, made me feel empowered. It's toxic asf. I'm forever done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author XForeverstardust Posted December 14, 2018 Author Share Posted December 14, 2018 That "something" is not fate, kismet, or being soulmates. That "something" that keeps bringing you together is you fear of not finding someone better which keeps you from burning bridges which you have already crossed. You are each just being each other's fallback plan. You are not meeting enough other more interesting people and so you keep testing the waters. You both are better off severing ties cleanly and moving on. He wants to keep you on back burner, because he can, and to hedge his bets for when things end with his current GF (not surprising at all if he is seeing someone else besides his GF). You are worth more than that. Good luck. Ohh, I NEVER thought of it in that sense. When I say that "something" I mean as in are there still underlying feelings of guilt or hurt...? Funny thing is I sent that snap to everyone else on my friends list, it was a generic snap, not one targeted at him. But yeah I thought he was flirting he initiated with the whole "you're an angel" thing and I continued it. But I did not for a second thing we will date or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author XForeverstardust Posted December 14, 2018 Author Share Posted December 14, 2018 Forget the past. What are you going to do going forward? He said "don't get your hopes up." What?! How can you have contact with him after he said that? Doesn't matter if he flirted or initiated. You don't need to respond to his wishes. He knows you desperately want him back. But he told you that's not gonna happen, and he knows he just has to snap his fingers and you're his. How convenient for him to access you for an ego boost when he needs it. Don't give him more access. EXACTLY!! I even called him out for it. This time I told him "I was always to good for you. That is something you never noticed." He's blocked, for good. I'm NEVER going back ever again. Let him believe whatever he chooses to... He is NOTHING to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author XForeverstardust Posted December 14, 2018 Author Share Posted December 14, 2018 Yeah.. it keeps happening because you allow it to. I would not want to reconcile with an ex or even talk to him again if he behaves the way your ex does. He has a gf yet he's flirting with you? Come on.. why do you want to be "friends" with a guy like that. Also seems like you still have feelings for him. Those snaps you sent him, I see it as flirting. You flirted, so he flirted back. He probably thinks you want to be with him again lol, I don't blame him. Except here you are complaining that HE'S flirting with you and HE'S saying some BS afterwards like, "sorry don't get your hopes up". You can only blame yourself for being played by someone like him. Not worth it imo. Forget him, move on. Funny thing is I sent that snap to everyone else on my friends list, it was a generic snap, not one targeted at him. But yeah I thought he was flirting he initiated with the whole "you're an angel" thing and I continued it. But I did not for a second thing we will date or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 EXACTLY!! I even called him out for it. This time I told him "I was always to good for you. That is something you never noticed." He's blocked, for good. I'm NEVER going back ever again. Let him believe whatever he chooses to... He is NOTHING to me. Good girl! Link to post Share on other sites
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