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He went from saying "I love you" on the first date to not saying much now


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Old 29th November 2018, 10:12 AM   #1
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He went from saying "I love you" on the first date to not saying much now

I met this guy online, we started chatting and felt there was a special connection there. We spoke and texted for over a week all day every day, and then went on our first date, which was beautiful and magical.

Afterwards he sent me these messages saying he feels that he loves me, that is true love he is feeling. I felt it was too much too soon and it scared me.

He apologized for that, saying he understands is too much to say too soon, that he will hold back on those messages, but that he was being truthful and that he really feels that way. He really did feel genuine.

We have been on more dates and I am falling in love with him too. But now, I don't know how he feels. He says he likes me, he misses me, etc, but is he still feeling the same as in our first date?

I don't know now if he's just being careful because he doesn't want to scare me, or he doesn't feel it anymore. Now I wish he would be expressing more how he feels, and he doesn't.

What can I do now?
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Old 29th November 2018, 10:25 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by Newheregirl View Post
I met this guy online, we started chatting and felt there was a special connection there. We spoke and texted for over a week all day every day, and then went on our first date, which was beautiful and magical.

Afterwards he sent me these messages saying he feels that he loves me, that is true love he is feeling. I felt it was too much too soon and it scared me.

He apologized for that, saying he understands is too much to say too soon, that he will hold back on those messages, but that he was being truthful and that he really feels that way. He really did feel genuine.

We have been on more dates and I am falling in love with him too. But now, I don't know how he feels. He says he likes me, he misses me, etc, but is he still feeling the same as in our first date?

I don't know now if he's just being careful because he doesn't want to scare me, or he doesn't feel it anymore. Now I wish he would be expressing more how he feels, and he doesn't.

What can I do now?

He can't possibly know that he loves you on the first date. He was blowing smoke or just caught up in the moment and maybe hoping to get laid and knows that some girls fall for that "line" fast. What are your ages?

When they come in hot like that, it usually blows out quickly (especially if intimacy was involved).

Were you intimate on that first date? If so, and you've had a few more dates but he's gone lukewarm/cold, I'd say you're just being strung along and/or being set up as a back burner girl.

Forget about what's in his head. Be in your own head -- recognize that this guy isn't making you feel good about the situation. I think you should stop responding to him and/or tell him you're moving on.
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Old 29th November 2018, 11:05 AM   #3
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He can't possibly know that he loves you on the first date. He was blowing smoke or just caught up in the moment and maybe hoping to get laid and knows that some girls fall for that "line" fast. What are your ages?

When they come in hot like that, it usually blows out quickly (especially if intimacy was involved).

Were you intimate on that first date? If so, and you've had a few more dates but he's gone lukewarm/cold, I'd say you're just being strung along and/or being set up as a back burner girl.

Forget about what's in his head. Be in your own head -- recognize that this guy isn't making you feel good about the situation. I think you should stop responding to him and/or tell him you're moving on.
There was no sex on the first date and it hasn't happened yet. We genuinely have a great time together on our dates.

He didn't say all those things on our first date to get laid, because he said them afterwards, through text messages when we were both back in our homes.

He's not gone lukewarm/cold, he's nice and normal, but I can feel he is holding back on saying how he feels, maybe not to scare me again.
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Old 29th November 2018, 12:04 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Newheregirl View Post
There was no sex on the first date and it hasn't happened yet. We genuinely have a great time together on our dates.

He didn't say all those things on our first date to get laid, because he said them afterwards, through text messages when we were both back in our homes.

He's not gone lukewarm/cold, he's nice and normal, but I can feel he is holding back on saying how he feels, maybe not to scare me again.

He could be inexperienced and when you told him he was being too forward you may have pushed him back into a shell. I wouldn't worry about it. Keep going on dates that alone will tell you if he still feels a certain way for you.

I mainly think he's unexperienced because you don't bring up the L word on the 1st or 2nd date. Hell you don't bring that up for a long time. People throw that word around very freely nowadays and it doesn't carry the same weight. My guess is he just really likes you and wants you to know it by over expressing himself. Like I said though you may have pushed him back.

You can even push the envelope too and bring up feelings that you have for him and see how he reacts.
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Old 29th November 2018, 1:38 PM   #5
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He probably mean he loves how he feels about himself when he is with you--because that's all he's got experience with in this situation... how he feels about himself. He can't possibly know you well enough to love you, but he knows himself to know when he feels better about who he is--it's just that articulation isn't his forte.

All you really can do, if you want this to progress, is to cool your jets and let things fall out in their own time--stop trying to rush him just because he rushed himself (and you) with his declaration.
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