ZA Dater Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 I found myself on a "date" with someone impossibly beautiful, dynamic and with an amazing personality. I had met her a few times previously and she fell into the category of people who I could speak to about how bad dating was for me. Honestly she can get whoever she wants and has limitless choice but without asking she asked me if I wanted to go out with her to see how good a date can be. Normally I wouldn't have gone with but this time I decided to actually go and live out some vicarious fantasy. Walk into a restaurant and everyone head turns, quite a nice feeling. She models so is used to the attention, shy me not so much. She is intelligent and super perceptive so I get the challenge I like so much with her but she also gives me a good debate and she know me better than most. It was a great dinner and a good confidence booster. I wont ever be her sort of guy but I thought it was really nice of her to go with me, an amazing memory. Having to not think "well I am compromising on this and that" was very nice, in a different world she would be exactly what I would want. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 I'm glad you had fun. I just wish that you didn't focus so much on the fact that she is a model and all the heads turned... Not saying that physical attractiveness is not important, but as we have discussed at length... you have a very distorted view of dating and what is important in a relationship. I am glad you enjoyed your evening though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted November 23, 2018 Author Share Posted November 23, 2018 I'm glad you had fun. I just wish that you didn't focus so much on the fact that she is a model and all the heads turned... Not saying that physical attractiveness is not important, but as we have discussed at length... you have a very distorted view of dating and what is important in a relationship. I am glad you enjoyed your evening though. At the moment I am more into being "wowed" I pretty much know no date is going to work with me beyond one date so I may has well make sure that the date is as "wow" as it can be. Honestly as I am unlikely to ever have a relationship the long term view doesn't really bother me too much. I'd rather enjoy the now than think about the tomorrow. She has an amazing personality, the key here was she was all I like, I didn't have to sit and "well this is a compromise" as I always seem to have to do. The conversation was interesting more so because she also used to suffer from a lack of confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 At the moment I am more into being "wowed" I pretty much know no date is going to work with me beyond one date so I may has well make sure that the date is as "wow" as it can be. Honestly as I am unlikely to ever have a relationship the long term view doesn't really bother me too much. I'd rather enjoy the now than think about the tomorrow. She has an amazing personality, the key here was she was all I like, I didn't have to sit and "well this is a compromise" as I always seem to have to do. The conversation was interesting more so because she also used to suffer from a lack of confidence. Again, a very distorted view of dating - unrealistic and very high expectations - that contributes to the fact that you find it difficult, if not impossible, to be successful with dating and relationships. To each their own. I wonder if she has done you a disservice, despite her best intentions, by reinforcing your unrealistic beliefs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted November 23, 2018 Author Share Posted November 23, 2018 Again, a very distorted view of dating - unrealistic and very high expectations - that contributes to the fact that you find it difficult, if not impossible, to be successful with dating and relationships. To each their own. I wonder if she has done you a disservice, despite her best intentions, by reinforcing your unrealistic beliefs. Well for me the experience trumps long term. I'd rather have 2 fantastic dates like this a year than 30 average ones which offer me nothing at all. Having said all of that she dates pretty much anyone she actually likes irrespective of looks to a degree, I however fall too far into the "need to teach" category. Nobody wants to do that which I accept. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 Well for me the experience trumps long term. I'd rather have 2 fantastic dates like this a year than 30 average ones which offer me nothing at all. Having said all of that she dates pretty much anyone she actually likes irrespective of looks to a degree, I however fall too far into the "need to teach" category. Nobody wants to do that which I accept. So what did you learn? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted November 23, 2018 Author Share Posted November 23, 2018 So what did you learn? That even the best looking most dynamic people don't always have as much confidence as it seems. I learnt I can be a lot better and I was freshly motivated to keep improving. It was just a nice evening, the way I see it I may as try and find the best experiences I can even if they seem impossible. The idea of impossible has always appealed to me much more than possible. Was also interesting hearing about her experiences, bad dates and some frankly guys with unfathomable bad manners. Also was nice that someone took an interest in me for the change. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 So.. Was it actually a date? Or a just friend teaching you? Will you ask her out? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 24, 2018 Share Posted November 24, 2018 dude all I wanna know is if you will sleep with her Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted November 24, 2018 Share Posted November 24, 2018 dude all I wanna know is if you will sleep with her I'm not sure if sex as a thing, is ever a consideration for ZA Dater? Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted November 24, 2018 Share Posted November 24, 2018 Sounds more like dinner with a friend than a date. Obsessing about looks is counterproductive. Link to post Share on other sites
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