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Lying About Interest


Isaac99

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I'm of the belief that I have a moral responsibility to be honest and direct when I'm not interested in a woman. I don't think anyone would debate that. I have no problem telling her upfront.

 

However when it comes to having high interest in a woman and lying about it by faking a low interest level it's ok to lie since I wouldn't be wasting her time. The only person I'm hurting is myself. I have not cheated her out of anything by hiding my feelings and attraction.

 

Of course I am talking about a woman who genuinely digs me. I don't have an obligation morally to reveal to her that I dig her too. As for the ones who don't dig me then it's a no brainer to hide my high interest level. It's just as well to fake a low interest level. Untill I know for a fact that she digs me then my feelings are none of her business.

 

What are your thoughts? I don't care about hurting myself and wasting my own time as long as I don't waste her time.

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Forget about time wasting and let's talk about why you wish to play games. I don't see any point in what you're doing.

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Forget about time wasting and let's talk about why you wish to play games. I don't see any point in what you're doing.

 

Because it is better to get rejected for being too emotionally aloof than for being too emotionally needy. It's better to error on the side of overdoing emotional aloofness.

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It's still playing games and that means you are very likely to miss out on something that might be good while guarding yourself against rejection.

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What are your thoughts? I don't care about hurting myself and wasting my own time as long as I don't waste her time.

 

Your approach is going to backfire.

 

She will assume you are not interested and move along to someone who isn't too afraid to be open with her.

 

Not a good plan, OP.

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MaleIntuition

Or you could simply date her without behaving needy.

 

There is a big difference between wanting someone and needing someone. I think a lot of women find it sexy when you are fairly upfront with what you want.

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I personally think it's okay to down play your level of interest a little bit. But only because if a guy told me how much he liked me and I was not quite there I would get scared and run away.

 

Play it cool but definitely let her know you are interested. My 2 cents.

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This is a problem I have. If I really like a girl I try to hide it - and I do a terrible job of it. I'm still contacting her all the time I just try not to directly tell her I like her. Maybe the difference is showing versus talking about something? I really don't know but I think this troll is hitting on a good issue.

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By trying to conceal your feelings you come off as disingenuine. Try being true to yourself without making a pest of yourself.

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But you say she digs you so why are you afraid of rejection?

If a guy you're not into comes on strong that can be off-putting, but if you like a guy there's nothing better than him letting you know he likes you too.

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This is a problem I have. If I really like a girl I try to hide it - and I do a terrible job of it. I'm still contacting her all the time I just try not to directly tell her I like her. Maybe the difference is showing versus talking about something? I really don't know but I think this troll is hitting on a good issue.

 

Yeah well I don't contact my crush all the time. If anything I have reduced contact on purpose. If I'm looking for an excuse to contact her all the time then that would be doing a terrible job of hiding my feelings. I know better than that. I don't even look at her when she's in the room. Of course I am still polite and I look at her when I talk to her like I would with anyone else. 90% of contact on my side is sticking to business related stuff.

 

If you really want to do a good job hiding your interest then don't interact with her beyond the call of duty and what is necessary for being polite.

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But you say she digs you so why are you afraid of rejection?

If a guy you're not into comes on strong that can be off-putting, but if you like a guy there's nothing better than him letting you know he likes you too.

 

I am afraid of the rejection that will come down the road. Keeping a woman's interest is harder than the initial interest. I think 90% of men can get a girlfriend but keeping her in love over the long haul is more challenging.

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Stop hiding your interest & ask the crush on a date. Asking to spend time together is the proper way to express interest without being annoying. It's also better then making some sort of announcement. It implies that you like the crush

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However when it comes to having high interest in a woman and lying about it by faking a low interest level it's ok to lie since I wouldn't be wasting her time. The only person I'm hurting is myself. I have not cheated her out of anything by hiding my feelings and attraction.

 

That is too extreme of an interpretation.

 

What you should be considering is just nothing more then self discipline. By exercising self discipline you keep yourself in balance emotionally and you won't rush into to something faster than should should. But when you finally get there the foundation is more solidly built and everything is more stable.

 

However what you are describing is just starving the relationship and being somewhat dishonest.

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Stop hiding your interest & ask the crush on a date. Asking to spend time together is the proper way to express interest without being annoying. It's also better then making some sort of announcement. It implies that you like the crush

 

I haven't made any announcements. I don't get where all that is coming from.

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What are you doing vis-a-vie this crush? Have you actually gone on a date with this person? If not, when will you ask?

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What are you doing vis-a-vie this crush? Have you actually gone on a date with this person? If not, when will you ask?

 

No I haven't gone out on a date. I'm not ready for all that at this point in time. I'm slowly coming around to it. When will I ask? I don't know. Perhaps in another 6 months.

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