Tagalz Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) Hi I'm new here. I have known this girl for 1 year now. Before that we were just friends but it was not until the start of 2018 that we started seeing and talking to each other more. Most of my friends give me hate because she is 17. She will be 18 years old in 3 weeks. While I'm 22 years old. All I want is some advice, no hate. Right now I have taken her out on dates without me realizing it. We have been in the movies, amusement park and at a gaming event. What I'm thinking is to wait for her to be 18 and then take her out on a proper date. After a few months have past by I ask her to be my girlfriend. Do you think I should go for that? or what could I do? Edited October 17, 2018 by Tagalz Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Right now I have taken her out on dates without me realizing it. We have been in the movies, amusement park and at a gaming event. What I'm thinking is to wait for her to be 18 and then take her out on a proper date. After a few months have past by I ask her to be my girlfriend. Do you think I should go for that? or what could I do? What do you mean, you have taken her out without realizing it? How does one do that - as friends? There is five years age difference. No big deal - except for the fact that she is under 18. Your plan to wait until after she is 18 years old, certainly before having sex, is wise. Otherwise, the age difference is not a problem. We are older, but my boyfriend is four years older than me. It has never bothered us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) What do you mean, you have taken her out without realizing it? How does one do that - as friends? Yes, because I was thinking I could not date a girl who is under 18 so I just took it as "my friend". Looking back at it, I was so dumb not to realize it The worse thing that could happend is that she rejects me and that is what I'm afraid of. Like imagine spending so much time and effort in to her and then she hits me with "I'm seeing another guy" Edited October 17, 2018 by Tagalz Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Just date her like she's a normal person. I dated a 17 year old when I was 23, it was no big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
sabaton Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Hi Hello. Most of my friends give me hate because she is 17. She will be 18 years old in 3 weeks. While I'm 22 years old. All I want is some advice, no hate. Are you sexually active with her? Your friends might be giving you hate because it's illegal for an adult person to sleep with someone who is underage, maybe they're worried that sleeping with her might come with negative consequences for you. And even if it wasn't illegal, people as young as your girlfriend is, many times they aren't emotionally ready to have sex. Right now I have taken her out on dates without me realizing it. We have been in the movies, amusement park and at a gaming event. You have been taking her out on dates without realizing that you are having a date? If you are just hanging out with this girl with nothing sexually happening, that's fine. What I'm thinking is to wait for her to be 18 and then take her out on a proper date. After a few months have past by I ask her to be my girlfriend. What do you perceive to be a proper date? If months from now you are still interested in dating her, and she's interested in dating her - nothing wrong with asking her to be your girlfriend and to become exclusive. Do you think I should go for that? or what could I do? Sure, you could go for it, but take into consideration that 17 year old girls(and boys) aren't really keen on being in a committed relationship, at least many, many of them aren't, and it might just happen that this girl will end up dating someone closer to her age. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LockyCaps Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Absolutely agree. 2018 is now. It is ok to date even when you are 15 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Hi I'm new here. I have known this girl for 1 year now. Before that we were just friends but it was not until the start of 2018 that we started seeing and talking to each other more. Most of my friends give me hate because she is 17. She will be 18 years old in 3 weeks. While I'm 22 years old. All I want is some advice, no hate. Right now I have taken her out on dates without me realizing it. We have been in the movies, amusement park and at a gaming event. What I'm thinking is to wait for her to be 18 and then take her out on a proper date. After a few months have past by I ask her to be my girlfriend. Do you think I should go for that? or what could I do? I dated my first serious boyfriend at 17 and he was 22. We had a nice relationship while I was in college. But once I graduated he was ready to marry me and I was ready to explore the world so I broke up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Yes, because I was thinking I could not date a girl who is under 18 so I just took it as "my friend". Looking back at it, I was so dumb not to realize it The worse thing that could happend is that she rejects me and that is what I'm afraid of. Like imagine spending so much time and effort in to her and then she hits me with "I'm seeing another guy" As the others have said, there is nothing stopping you from dating a woman who is under 18 years old... You just can't not legally, have sex with her. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 If you live in Oslo "What is the Norway Age of Consent? The Age of Consent in Norway is 16 years old. The age of consent is the minimum age at which an individual is considered legally old enough to consent to participation in sexual activity. Individuals aged 15 or younger in Norway are not legally able to consent to sexual activity, and such activity may result in prosecution for statutory rape or the equivalent local law.!" Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Same as in the UK. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 If you are more comfortable waiting until she is 18 then wait. Ask her to have dinner with you to celebrate her birthday. Pick a romantic place & during the dinner talk to her. See if she is open to officially dating you. Just be aware of the fact that you are at different life stages. She may be getting ready to start uni while you are off to adulthood. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 Hello. Are you sexually active with her? What do you perceive to be a proper date? If months from now you are still interested in dating her, and she's interested in dating her - nothing wrong with asking her to be your girlfriend and to become exclusive. . No I'm not sexually active with her. By a proper date I mean to take her out to a restaurant and having a romantic dinner. I'm not going to carry this on, I got all the advice I needed and I will stick to my plan. Thanks to you and everyone here for help! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 If you live in Oslo "What is the Norway Age of Consent? The Age of Consent in Norway is 16 years old. The age of consent is the minimum age at which an individual is considered legally old enough to consent to participation in sexual activity. Individuals aged 15 or younger in Norway are not legally able to consent to sexual activity, and such activity may result in prosecution for statutory rape or the equivalent local law.!" Really? That I didn't know But you know even tho the age consent is 16 here in Norway, most girls have sex with a guy who is either 16 or 17. Which in most cases is seen as legal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 Ask her to have dinner with you to celebrate her birthday. Pick a romantic place & during the dinner talk to her. See if she is open to officially dating you. . Exactly what I was thinking! You read my mind Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Really? That I didn't know But you know even tho the age consent is 16 here in Norway, most girls have sex with a guy who is either 16 or 17. Which in most cases is seen as legal. I think that statutory rape laws have a not added about both kids being under 18 (like no more than two years apart or something like that) but I'm not sure this applies to Norway as well. Anyhow, not sure why you are scratching your head over this. If you're so worried, don't have sex with her until she is actually 18 (you only have to wait three weeks...). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted October 21, 2018 Author Share Posted October 21, 2018 (edited) Hey! It's me again. I met her today, but to make it easy for me so I don't have to write a lot I just call her Kriss. Kriss and I was going to an gaming event and everything went well until she asked if she could bring a friend. (Of course I said yes to that) her friend Julia had another friend with her named Øyvind (We were 4 people). I've met Julia just once before so this was the second time and her attitude was just all over the place. I felt like she was not nice at all. Julia and Kriss went off without saying anything and left me with Øyvind. When they came back after like 10 min Julia took Øyvind for herself and said this: "We just need some fresh air" What does that have to do to with anything? let me tell you. there is more to that. Julia and my last girlfriend knows each other well. So I'm thinking that at the same time that they went off, Julia might as well told Kriss what happened to me and my last girlfriend. And Julia might have told Øyvind too. It just seems to make sense like why would Julia take Kriss alone and then Øyvind? (It is just a thought I could never be sure) I am ignoring it, but I'm just afraid that if that is the case why would someone ruin it for me? I had barely known Julia so I don't really see the reason. Edited October 21, 2018 by Tagalz Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 You are making assumptions. Yes, Kriss & Julia may have talked but it could have been to Kriss could gush about how much she likes you. When they came back, Julia probably took A away so you & Kriss could be alone. Focus on how you treat Kriss & don't worry so much about the past or your EX. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 (edited) Hi! so this is just an update on how the situation between me and Kriss is now. We were planning to meet this saturday at my house to watch movies. On the event we were on three days ago I asked her what movies she wanted to see (I know too soon lol), and she suddenly replied "I have to attend a friends party that day" Which indicates that she put her friends priorities before mine. I don't think much about it because she cannot always be with me. (Meaning that she also needs time with her friends too.) Also when I said we could go out on halloween she was like no I had plans with my friends. And on snapchat when I write long text, she just replies with a short answer. That might be because she's busy tho. BUT This is something I have to be aware of because she might continue to make excuses to not meet me OR she is trying to cut off all communication without warning. If that keeps happening I'm deleting her on snapchat and letting her go. Edited October 23, 2018 by Tagalz Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 (edited) She's a 17 year-old girl. She's acting like one. A girl who wants to spend time with friends at a party. She's too young to be tied down and doesn't want to be it seems. You're 22. An independent, single guy with a little more experience and expectation under your belt. Don't assume she's ghosting you though. And, if she does cut off all communication, it won't be without warning, necessarily, she's already showing you what her 17 year girl priorities are. Don't set a trap for her. Have a conversation about how you see her and what you would like with her and let her talk too. Communicate. Just because you guys started dating, it doesn't mean she understands what you think she understands or wants what you want. Edited October 23, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact full quote of starting post 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 (edited) How long have you been dating? You're probably moving too fast for her. Just keep going out and don't worry about movies and halloween. Those are more couple activities. I've made this mistake before, so take it from me. You have to keep your emotions in check. If you delete her, you'll confirm her fears that you can't control your emotions. You're too into her, too fast. Some women are really paranoid about this (especially if they have an avoidant attachment style). Edited October 23, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact full quote of starting post Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 she suddenly replied "I have to attend a friends party that day" Which indicates that she put her friends priorities before mine. It could also indicate: 1- the party was an important event for her friend and she didn't want to miss it, not necessarily because the friend is more important but that particular event was 2- it could have been an excuse because she didn't want to see you not a matter of level of priority 3- it could have been an outright lie because she didn't want you to know where she was really going and who she was going with (if you get my drift) It definitely indicates you: 1- jump to conclusions that may be wrong 2- don't consider other options 3- have at least a touch of insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness which is NOT attractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Tagalz, that isnt ghosting. Shes still speaking to you and replying. Ghosting is when they have disappeared off the face of the earth but you can still see them online. When they were on FB or messenger of WhatsApp but they choose not to reply to you. She isnt interested in you. If she was she wouldnt be so disrepectful of your time which is valuable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted October 24, 2018 Author Share Posted October 24, 2018 It could also indicate: 3- it could have been an outright lie because she didn't want you to know where she was really going and who she was going with (if you get my drift) No she will not hook up with another guy. I trust her that much to know she would not. If she does it hurts my feelings Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tagalz Posted October 24, 2018 Author Share Posted October 24, 2018 How long have you been dating? You're probably moving too fast for her. Just keep going out and don't worry about movies and halloween. Those are more couple activities. I've made this mistake before, so take it from me. You have to keep your emotions in check. If you delete her, you'll confirm her fears that you can't control your emotions. You're too into her, too fast. Some women are really paranoid about this (especially if they have an avoidant attachment style). 5 months have we been dating. Before that we were just friends. And yeah I totally agree that my emotions are taking over and I have to be busy with other stuff too keep my mind off her... It's just that I want her to be mine and I've waited for so long. I haven't even asked her yet... as my plan is to wait for her to turn 18. I know it's only a couple of weeks but I feel like the time is really slow at this point Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 (edited) 5 months have we been dating. Before that we were just friends. And yeah I totally agree that my emotions are taking over and I have to be busy with other stuff too keep my mind off her... It's just that I want her to be mine and I've waited for so long. I haven't even asked her yet... as my plan is to wait for her to turn 18. You need to let her know what your intentions are. You can't expect her to act like your girlfriend if she doesn't even know that's how you view her. And, it's a two-way street. She may not want a "real" boyfriend. Communicate. Edited October 24, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix formatting in quote 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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