Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Is it bad I asked him if he still wants to see me?

Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 13th October 2018, 5:54 PM   #1
Established Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 62
Is it bad I asked him if he still wants to see me?

Hey everyone,
I wrote on here last weekend because I had started seeing someone for a few weeks, we went on 4 dates and talked everyday for 3 weeks.Everything was going great. On our 4th date we slept together, everything seemed to be going well and then he started taking over 24 hours to respond to texts when before he was initiating everything. We had an already scheduled 5th date this past week and when I asked him if we were still on, he took another 24 hours to tell me he was sick. I said I hope you feel better and lets raincheck, with no response. I felt like he was doing the fade out. Over the course of 5 days I got 2 responses from him, when before he as texting and calling multiple times a day without me lifting a finger. Come on, the change was drastic

So finally Thursday, I straight up said I sense something has changed and a drop in our communication. I would appreciate some honesty on where you head is at and if you want to continue to see each other. To me this was giving him the option to say he's not feeling it but I have had a few friends tell me this is clingy behavior and he probably wasn't going to ghost and I should have never sent it because now I look like a stage 5 clinger. Needless to say I got no response and haven't heard a peep from him since. I've been ghosted for the first time and I really just didn't want anyone to waste my time or let me invest any energy into someone who doesn't want to see me.

Was I going to be ghosted regardless?
Ariesgirly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th October 2018, 6:13 PM   #2
Established Member
losangelena's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: L.A.
Posts: 4,322
I mean yes, probably, you were going to get ghosted either way.

You're fine for saying something. I don't think wanting clarity is tantamount to "stage five clinger" status. If you were blowing up his phone two dozen times a day demanding a response, that would be different. If you'd stayed silent, you probably wouldn't have heard from him anyway, so what's the difference?

I think the real question here is, do you really want to be with someone/be pursued by someone who is okay with fading out on you like this? If the answer is no, then you shouldn't overly concern yourself with how you come off. There's nothing wrong with have expectations on someone's behavior and there's nothing wrong with expressing those expectations. If that turns him off, that is HIS problem. As the saying goes, "those who matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter." Move on from this disappointment of a man and don't take to heart what your friends are saying.
losangelena is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th October 2018, 6:38 PM   #3
Established Member
Scarlett.O'hara's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,166
It certainly appears that is where it was heading. How disappointing.

I completely agree with losangelena that there was nothing wrong with what you said. It sounds like you tried your best, but he just wasn't willing to give you that clarity, which makes him a bit of a jerk.

There are few good reasons for ghosting someone. It shows a real lack of respect and empathy for the other person. It's sad that people tend to blame themselves when they are on the receiving end, even though it is more of a sign of the other person's cowardice and selfishness.

I know it probably hurts right now, but in time you will realize you dodged a bullet with this guy. He clearly doesn't have as much potential as you hoped.
Scarlett.O'hara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th October 2018, 6:39 PM   #4
Established Member
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 17,612
Yes he was definitely trying to ghost you and did. Don't feel bad because you wanted to know what was going on. Now, don't contact him again and just move on.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Girlfriend wants space, but still see's me, still has sex MrLover Breaks and Breaking Up 3 28th January 2015 1:21 PM
Dilemma: To see him or not to see him? J_L_C Breaks and Breaking Up 183 10th April 2013 8:06 AM
Was this a bad move? (asked her why she didn't respond when I asked her out) U1987 Dating 35 10th September 2010 4:45 AM
How often do you see him/her? (sorry if it's been asked recently!!) SophieA Long-Distance Relationships 7 3rd May 2009 2:26 AM
WE broke up, but he still loves me, says he needs time alone, still wants to see me brokenheartsad Breaks and Breaking Up 2 28th December 2004 11:30 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 8:29 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.