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Never adds our photos to social media


confused83

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As the title says nothing ever gets added. She is even refusing to add a relationship status as says its private. It didnt bother me at first as she did say when weve been on a nice trip she'll add something... Well its now been 3 months. We have been on multiple trips and days out yet still nothing. If she meets her friends she'll upload photos of their day out, photos of the coffees theyve bought etc. When we go out she'll say 'arent photos of food and drink pointless' when she sees someone dping it yet she'll do it with friends.

 

Ive brought it up 2 or 3 times and everytime she just says its private, she doesnt like posting private photos and that i shouldnt worry. It annoys me that she knows id like it but is still refusing. Shes also said 'people dont need to know were going out'. But, why would certain people not need to know? Ivw met her friends and family so i dont get who these 'people' are she doesnt want to know.

 

Shes said i can add stuff if i Like but then it looks silly me just adding things and her not. Its making me feel like shes embarrassed to be seen with me or something, its ts really odd.

 

I must add when we're together its great and she suggests meeting and seems keen but this lack of social media bothers me a lot as an ex i had who did the same thing was talking To other men i found out. My current partner knows this and still refuses. I hate bringing it up but i dont know whether to keep waiting or say enoughs enough.

Edited by confused83
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I was the girl in this situation once. Wanna know why i never advertised my relationship?

 

*Because I wasn't proud of it*

 

I didnt want to settle down with this guy, or introduce him to family or friends. For me, the relationship was just something private I was doing for ME, it wasn't anything I wanted longterm. So to start 'planting' it in my life, which at the time included social media, was pointless. Plus I wasnt proud of him. He wasnt good looking at all, and he was just for fun for me. I didnt realize it at the time, but I was rebounding and lonely. Of course I didnt want to advertise a relationship that was entirely for selfish reasons that i didnt want anyone to know. Plus, I knew my future husband was (is) still out there, didnt want to discourage him into thinking I already "had" someone. I was being young and free, didnt want to cut myself off because some guy wanted me to advertise that I was taken. I think on some level he knew I didnt want him for permanent, which is why he pushed for permanent. Honestly guys, stop pushing us. Even if we post sh*t everywhere , it wont make the relationship any more real or authentic.

 

It bothered him so much that I had to deactivate my accounts so he would stfu about it. Ended up being the best relationship i ever had, and I didnt need to advertise it on FB for it to be of value or meaningful.

 

But I still ended it 2 years later. You cant change how you feel about someone. Even when i grew to love him, he was still unattractive and not what I wanted for longterm.

Edited by Hopeful30
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I was the girl in this situation once. Wanna know why i never advertised my relationship?

 

*Because I wasn't proud of it*

 

I didnt want to settle down with this guy, or introduce him to family or friends. For me, the relationship was just something private I was doing for ME, it wasn't anything I wanted longterm. So to start 'planting' it in my life, which at the time included social media, was pointless. Plus I wasnt proud of him. He wasnt good looking at all, and he was just for fun for me. I didnt realize it at the time, but I was rebounding and lonely. Of course I didnt want to advertise a relationship that was entirely for selfish reasons that i didnt want anyone to know. Plus, I knew my future husband was (is) still out there, didnt want to discourage him into thinking I already "had" someone. I was being young and free, didnt want to cut myself off because some guy wanted me to advertise that I was taken. I think on some level he knew I didnt want him for permanent, which is why he pushed for permanent. Honestly guys, stop pushing us. Even if we post sh*t everywhere , it wont make the relationship any more real or authentic.

 

It bothered him so much that I had to deactivate my accounts so he would stfu about it. Ended up being the best relationship i ever had, and I didnt need to advertise it on FB for it to be of value or meaningful.

 

But I still ended it 2 years later. You cant change how you feel about someone. Even when i grew to love him, he was still unattractive and not what I wanted for longterm.

 

It's good to be honest, but how was the "best relationship you ever had" with someone you "weren't proud of"?

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Personally, I think people post things on Facebook to brag. It bothers me when people are on vacation and post stuff every day. Hello, ENJOY YOUR VACATION!

 

Your gf posting on FB or not posting on FB means nothing. Maybe when she's with you, she's actually trying to enjoy her time out with you, not posting it on meaningless social media and waiting to see how many people "like" it.

 

I do agree with Hopeful that sometimes people don't want to post things because they may not want to show the person off, but hello, you have already been on trips together and know her family and friends, so who gives a damn about posting on social media?! Maybe she feels like she'll jinx it if she starts posting stuff, so she doesn't. Just go with it and stop worrying about such a small problem.

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It's good to be honest, but how was the "best relationship you ever had" with someone you "weren't proud of"?

 

Great question. The fact that I didnt bother trying to be a "better" person for him (because i knew this was temporary anyways) means i was myself 100%. I didnt even bother trying to hide my bad qualities, like being extremely stubborn for example. He loved me anyways, and when he fell inlove with me I finally understood that true love can exist, and that I was worthy of being loved even with all my 'ugly' showing.

 

This man changed me as a person. I became more compassionate, more kind. I started to work on myself and tey to become a better person. The relationship really opened my eyes and I grew as a person. I learned who he was and he was a beautiful person, but I still knew in my heart that he wasnt my longterm partner. (I was right btw, everything I foresaw as a longterm circumstance with him that I didnt want, is exactly how it turned out with him and his new girl later on.)

 

I wasnt proud of him because (dont hate me) I could do much better, and i have been doing much better, but if he was all over my media and facebook at the time, i would have cut off the opportunity to meet more suitable men.

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Personally, I think people post things on Facebook to brag. It bothers me when people are on vacation and post stuff every day. Hello, ENJOY YOUR VACATION!

 

Your gf posting on FB or not posting on FB means nothing. Maybe when she's with you, she's actually trying to enjoy her time out with you, not posting it on meaningless social media and waiting to see how many people "like" it.

 

I do agree with Hopeful that sometimes people don't want to post things because they may not want to show the person off, but hello, you have already been on trips together and know her family and friends, so who gives a damn about posting on social media?! Maybe she feels like she'll jinx it if she starts posting stuff, so she doesn't. Just go with it and stop worrying about such a small problem.

 

I agree its not very relevant, its an internet page for goodness sake! But the fact that she is still refusing to post despite that it would make her bf happy makes me wonder. If my bfs ask for something that means nothing to me, I do it! Its nothing for me but makes my bf happy, easy peasy! If I refuse, then its not just nothing. Especially if I know it would make my man happy. Theres an obvious hesitation there.

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I agree its not very relevant, its an internet page for goodness sake! But the fact that she is still refusing to post despite that it would make her bf happy makes me wonder. If my bfs ask for something that means nothing to me, I do it! Its nothing for me but makes my bf happy, easy peasy! If I refuse, then its not just nothing. Especially if I know it would make my man happy. Theres an obvious hesitation there.

 

This is what worries me. At 1st i dropped it into conversation lightly but over these 3 months weve actually had 1 argument over it where it ended with me saying 'if you dont want to do it dont then'. And, nothings ever been added. As i say shes happy for me to meet friends and family but i dont get why she then needs instagram, Facebook etc to show nothing of us. Im the same that if she asked me todo something or said its something shed like id have no issues doing it as her excuse for not doing it is 'its not important' if its not important why would it matter so much to do it

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This is what worries me. At 1st i dropped it into conversation lightly but over these 3 months weve actually had 1 argument over it where it ended with me saying 'if you dont want to do it dont then'. And, nothings ever been added. As i say shes happy for me to meet friends and family but i dont get why she then needs instagram, Facebook etc to show nothing of us. Im the same that if she asked me todo something or said its something shed like id have no issues doing it as her excuse for not doing it is 'its not important' if its not important why would it matter so much to do it

 

This is my guidance for you, brother. Tell her this in your own words, and take some space so she can reflect on it.

 

If you asked the same of me, I would do it because your happiness is a priority. What hurts me most is that mine doesnt seem a priority to you, at least beyond social media.

 

If I may ask, what are your ages?

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I find this kinda weird because if you say she does use Instagram to post photos of her friends and all that and she refuses to upload photos with you then it means she isn't comfortable stating she isn't single anymore or worse, that she is dating you. All my female friends that use Instagram a lot post pictures with their partners from time to time, not weekly but at least monthly.

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I understand that there’s a rule of thumb about making sure your relationship will go the distance before plastering it all over Facebook. She probably wants to avoid the whole in a relationship with - not in a relationship - in a relationship with - not in a relationship Updates as she dates. Likewise, the friends she posts about being with......if she hasn’t seen a friend for a while - or they fall out with each other, it doesn’t need a FB correction.

 

It’s only been three months. If she still feels the same in 8 months of being exclusive, then you might want to ask again.

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I wouldn't and didn't post photos of me and my BF on FB for almost 7 months and I've only done it once (hiking photos that he was in so no selfies of us even though we've taken lots of them). I don't feel the need to advertise the relationship on FB, even though I'm extremely happy with my BF. There is no way I would have posted photos at 3 months.

 

In my last relationship, there was FB drama like you are describing. I feel stupid about that now. In my current relationship we haven't even friended each other because few times I thought about adding him, I remember the crap about social media in my previous relationship and decided not to. My BF said he's tried to look at my page and it is totally locked down so he couldn't see anything. He is thinking of deleting FB anyway because he hardly ever uses it so it was not a big deal between us. I actually really like that the almighty Facebook doesn't know we are in a relationship.

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I'm looking back at your history with this woman. A week ago she was distancing herself and had then gone AWOL. And just before that you were feeling insecure because you felt you couldn't compete with her travel history.

 

Given how tenuous this relationships sounds at present, she's wise to not put it on FB.

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As the title says nothing ever gets added. She is even refusing to add a relationship status as says its private. It didnt bother me at first as she did say when weve been on a nice trip she'll add something... Well its now been 3 months. We have been on multiple trips and days out yet still nothing. If she meets her friends she'll upload photos of their day out, photos of the coffees theyve bought etc. When we go out she'll say 'arent photos of food and drink pointless' when she sees someone dping it yet she'll do it with friends.

 

Ive brought it up 2 or 3 times and everytime she just says its private, she doesnt like posting private photos and that i shouldnt worry. It annoys me that she knows id like it but is still refusing. Shes also said 'people dont need to know were going out'. But, why would certain people not need to know? Ivw met her friends and family so i dont get who these 'people' are she doesnt want to know.

 

Shes said i can add stuff if i Like but then it looks silly me just adding things and her not. Its making me feel like shes embarrassed to be seen with me or something, its ts really odd.

 

I must add when we're together its great and she suggests meeting and seems keen but this lack of social media bothers me a lot as an ex i had who did the same thing was talking To other men i found out. My current partner knows this and still refuses. I hate bringing it up but i dont know whether to keep waiting or say enoughs enough.

 

Trust me as man who been there and she who your with is right do not post your life on face book. Others do not need to know your together. Also you both married or just seeing each other? Okay two are in a relationship if something happens and she has posted things with you she'll silly OH everyone "tom and I didn't work out so I got to remove all pictures of him and me" Why would she put you on her page. It's her page. If you two were married then I would agree with you but you have to keep what you want out of this. This his her face book page. She wants it private. FB can be seen buy everyone when pictures goes up on it guess what it's public. So if I was you forget it and asking her about it. Like our taking out ad about your life with her. She's with you right so what else do you want. She wants you private and that's that. Until you get married...

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I don't agree with "not proud of "reason.

 

I think it's too early to upload photos of you two being together.

 

Also, some people have the fear of losing a relationship or good things if they shared it with the word. They either believe it will be jinxed or have religious traditional reasons.

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Social media is a complete waste of time. It is none of big data's business who I date, where I am, or who I am with. I never even changed my relationship status the last time I was in a relationship.

 

Social media is used as a comparison tool, so you can show off to others just how perfect and great your life is, which are the lies that the platform wants you to perpetuate.

 

Add to this, the fact that when the relationship ends that you ultimately unfriend and possibly block your significant other and remove all the pictures of both of you so there is no point.

 

The people I admire most are those who have solid relationships and are not so insecure that they have to advertise it all over social media.

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I'm going against what people are saying here, and I think she is being inconsiderate not evening adding 1 photo of you two together on social media! You mean, you guys aren't pictured together not even as a group? So I'm sure she posts pictures of her guy friends on there.

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