Emmafive Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 So we hit a rough patch. A few days before I said I wanted to breakup but wasn’t sure, h what got upset and just ended things altogether. I tried to fix things and that’s when he said he wanted to decide what he wanted to do with our relationship. That was two weeks ago. During that time I expressed how I was worried I was pregnant and he asked why I was worried. Um because you came in me a handful of times, the hell? I told him my body had been feeling off. Fast forward he was pulling power plays with his decision. “Oh I’ll let you know in a few days”. Would call but then do the same thing again. I put my foot down and said I was tired of the game playing. He said okay I’ll dedinjtelu let you know on Monday (this past Monday). Over the weekend my best friend kept pushing me to take the test, but I was too afraid. Finally did it on on Monday and it was positive. I wanted to tell him when he called. I didn’t hear from him. Tuesday I still hadn’t heard so I took that as my answer. I said to myself whatever I decide to do about my pregnancy I can’t sit here and wallow that he’s not around since I had something really important to think about. Seeing him on social media constantly posting just hurt, so I unfollowed him. Of course later on at 10 PM he texted me saying he was sorry he hadn’t reached out he had just been in pain and was in a weird space and that he would give me a call after work tomorrow. Then about 10 minutes later he sent me this long text. He said , “oh you unfollowed me? Scratched what I said you’re just childish and I can’t do this” and that I put the nail in the coffin. Then a whole bunch or other stuff in between and then ended it with I swear on everything I’m going to ignore any text or call so don’t even try and this wished me luck with my life. I started calling and texting him and telling him I wasn’t being childish self preservation kicked in. There’s a lot more to my messages but you all get the gist. I figured he just thought I was pulling the pregnancy card. So yesterday I sent him the picture of the positive test with the background of my bathroom countertop so he didn’t think I just pulled a picture off the internet or did something crazy. Nothing. I thought maybe he just blocked me, so I sent it to his DM on instagram. Didn’t even open it. I’m just beyond hurt and scared. I can’t believe he’s doing this. This hurts a lot more than I imagined. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Before you get all in about it with him, go to a doctor and have a proper test done and and exam to be sure. Then get some counseling at a family planning clinic. I'm sure when some time passes, he will come around. He needs time to think too. there are times when people need to just stop being mad at each other, kool off and regroup to talk. Give it time. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 You both are being childish How could you have unprotected sex with a man who acts like this? You haven't mentioned one word about how this is going to effect your child should you chose to have it Neither of you have a right to be concerned about your feelings. What matters now is doing what's best for the soon to be baby, whether that's terminating the pregnancy or keeping it. The second you had unprotected sex you made a decision to possibly have a child and now...shocker, you're pregnant. If you do decide to go through with the pregnancy this poor kid will have a most likely absentee father and a mom who doesn't sound like she's ready. The challenges this kid will face are sad to think about People getting pregnant when they're not ready and when they're not in a stable relationship is the epitome of selfish, reckless behavior Call him and tell him you're pregnant and do some thinking about what you're going to do, as in, not what's best for you, but what's best for the kid if you go through with the pregnancy or if you don't. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Leojax Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 You both are being childish How could you have unprotected sex with a man who acts like this? You haven't mentioned one word about how this is going to effect your child should you chose to have it Neither of you have a right to be concerned about your feelings. What matters now is doing what's best for the soon to be baby, whether that's terminating the pregnancy or keeping it. The second you had unprotected sex you made a decision to possibly have a child and now...shocker, you're pregnant. If you do decide to go through with the pregnancy this poor kid will have a most likely absentee father and a mom who doesn't sound like she's ready. The challenges this kid will face are sad to think about People getting pregnant when they're not ready and when they're not in a stable relationship is the epitome of selfish, reckless behavior Call him and tell him you're pregnant and do some thinking about what you're going to do, as in, not what's best for you, but what's best for the kid if you go through with the pregnancy or if you don't. Ah yes, let’s blame the woman for this. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t acting like this when things were fine. When crap hits the fan people’s true colors come out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 A few days before I said I wanted to breakup but wasn’t sure, h what got upset and just ended things altogether. I tried to fix things and that’s when he said he wanted to decide what he wanted to do with our relationship. That was two weeks ago. It sounds like he's doing exactly what he said he was going to do and he's not changing his mind on it. Telling him you wanted to break up when you weren't firm on sticking to that path was not wise. You give up a lot of ground when you do that because it comes across as manipulative. Changing your mind after the fact as if he would unhear what you said? That got you caught out. I think you need to tell him to his face that you are pregnant.. sending something like that as a text message isn't cool. You need to read his reaction and his expression and demeanor--that cannot be conveyed in a text message or over the phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 I think you need to tell him to his face that you are pregnant.. sending something like that as a text message isn't cool. You need to read his reaction and his expression and demeanor--that cannot be conveyed in a text message or over the phone. I agree, this is too big a deal to just leave it to silly texts that can be easily misinterpreted or even ignored. You need to sit down as adults and discuss this properly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zawadi16 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 I agree, this is too big a deal to just leave it to silly texts that can be easily misinterpreted or even ignored. You need to sit down as adults and discuss this properly. But if he’s ignoring OP doesn’t that tell her all that she needs to know? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Your first step is to go and see a doctor. When your pregnancy is confirmed by a doctor, you should try and have a discussion with the father in person. Sending a photo by text message is not acceptable. And then, you have some decisions to make. Don't assume that this man will be a part of your life or help you to raise a child - his behavior is not demonstrating that he has the interest or the maturity to do this. If you decide to keep the child, make the decision assuming that you will be raising this child on your own. How long have you been dating this guy OP? In the future, always practice safe sex. Pregnancy is always a risk, especially if you don't take appropriate precautions. It's a tough lesson to learn, the hard way... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 But if he’s ignoring OP doesn’t that tell her all that she needs to know? Not really. She really has no real proof that he is even aware of the pregnancy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zawadi16 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Not really. She really has no real proof that he is even aware of the pregnancy. Even though she texted it to him and sent it to him in a message online? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Even though she texted it to him and sent it to him in a message online? The man just said "... I swear on everything I’m going to ignore any text or call so don’t even try" and this wished me luck with my life." before she sent the "proof" so we don't know if he has seen it or not, or if he still thinks she is a drama queen trying to emotionally blackmail him with a false pregnancy scare. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 The man just said "... I swear on everything I’m going to ignore any text or call so don’t even try" and this wished me luck with my life." before she sent the "proof" so we don't know if he has seen it or not, or if he still thinks she is a drama queen trying to emotionally blackmail him with a false pregnancy scare. Yep, it's entirely possible she's been blocked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emmafive Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 The man just said "... I swear on everything I’m going to ignore any text or call so don’t even try" and this wished me luck with my life." before she sent the "proof" so we don't know if he has seen it or not, or if he still thinks she is a drama queen trying to emotionally blackmail him with a false pregnancy scare. Yea but I brought up that I was worried weeks ago. I sent him the picture of the test since he wasn't picking up my calls. In the picture, I made sure to include my jewelry box that's on my bathroom countertop with the test so that he didn't think it was fabricated. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Yea but I brought up that I was worried weeks ago. I sent him the picture of the test since he wasn't picking up my calls. In the picture, I made sure to include my jewelry box that's on my bathroom countertop with the test so that he didn't think it was fabricated. Why don't you just go and see him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emmafive Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 Why don't you just go and see him? He lives in a different state. I didn't think it would have to resort to this. I never thought he would ignore me telling him this. If he's ignoring all of my communication to me it's clear he wants nothing to do with this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 He lives in a different state. I didn't think it would have to resort to this. I never thought he would ignore me telling him this. If he's ignoring all of my communication to me it's clear he wants nothing to do with this situation. It's still possible he thinks you're lying, and trying to bait him into coming back to you. It doesn't matter how you staged the photo. Go get a doctor's report, and send it to him via certified mail (if you're indeed pregnant). Do you have people around you for support? Have you told anyone else? But, first, get to a doctor for confirmation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 It sounds like he's doing exactly what he said he was going to do and he's not changing his mind on it. Telling him you wanted to break up when you weren't firm on sticking to that path was not wise. You give up a lot of ground when you do that because it comes across as manipulative. Changing your mind after the fact as if he would unhear what you said? That got you caught out. I think you need to tell him to his face that you are pregnant.. sending something like that as a text message isn't cool. You need to read his reaction and his expression and demeanor--that cannot be conveyed in a text message or over the phone. I’ve always found it to be a good idea to be sure before you breakup with someone as it is usually irreversible. Even if they come back, things are rarely the same. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leojax Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 It's still possible he thinks you're lying, and trying to bait him into coming back to you. It doesn't matter how you staged the photo. Go get a doctor's report, and send it to him via certified mail (if you're indeed pregnant). Do you have people around you for support? Have you told anyone else? But, first, get to a doctor for confirmation. He could but a real man wouldn't ignore. If this is someone that I had a relationship with and unprotected sex, even if I didn't want to be with them, the adult and manly thing to do is to step up. At least ask what she plans to do. Even if I thought you were crazy I would still want to know just in case. It's not like this guy had protected sex with OP. There's always a chance. Nope, he's not a man in my book. This 'man' is a whimp. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Ah yes, let’s blame the woman for this. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t acting like this when things were fine. When crap hits the fan people’s true colors come out. YOUR reproductive health is YOUR responsibility Why didn't you tell him to use a condom? I suggest you stop the blame game. It's not about you anymore. It's about the choice you need to make for the well being of your child or your health should you chose to terminate. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 He could but a real man wouldn't ignore. If this is someone that I had a relationship with and unprotected sex, even if I didn't want to be with them, the adult and manly thing to do is to step up. At least ask what she plans to do. Even if I thought you were crazy I would still want to know just in case. It's not like this guy had protected sex with OP. There's always a chance. Nope, he's not a man in my book. This 'man' is a whimp. It seems so So why have unprotected sex with him? Why not protect yourself from getting pregnant by a man like this? Why not prevent bringing a kid into the world who's father doesn't seem to care? How would that effect a kid, to have a dad who doesn't care about them or isn't ready to raise him/her? You seem to think that just because you're dating him he's going to miraculously step up to be the father of your kid...because it's the right thing to do. Doesn't work that way. Very sad situation 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 It seems so So why have unprotected sex with him? Why not protect yourself from getting pregnant by a man like this? Why not prevent bringing a kid into the world who's father doesn't seem to care? How would that effect a kid, to have a dad who doesn't care about them or isn't ready to raise him/her? You seem to think that just because you're dating him he's going to miraculously step up to be the father of your kid...because it's the right thing to do. Doesn't work that way. Very sad situation Dis - you talking to the OP? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 are you still in the window to take Plan B? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 are you still in the window to take Plan B? She's far along enough to test positive, so nope. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Dis - you talking to the OP? Lmao! I thought I was I can't keep these pregnant threads straight anymore 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Lmao! I thought I was I can't keep these pregnant threads straight anymore Scattered thoughts. Have you peed on a stick lately? Link to post Share on other sites
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