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Does my gf consider me to be a 'trophy boyfriend', and is that bad?


ironpony

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I feel like my gf invites me to way too many events she wants me to go to, like dinners with parents and family, and relatives, and things like that, as well as work events.

 

We first start seeing each other in April, but I feel that maybe she considers me to be a boyfriend to show off sometimes, cause if I don't want to, she will say things like everyone wants to meet me, family and a couple of co-workers so far. Why? Is going out since April long enough for the everyone wants to meet me stage?

 

She wants me to go to Christmas dinner for her work and told me to book off a couple of days, cause apparently Christmas dinner for work, is a three or more hour drive away in another city, and I have to stay overnight in a hotel.

 

Now maybe if she were to have asked me, I would have responded more positively, but she sends me a text saying book it off cause we are staying over night, at a hotel, and everything is paid for, without even asking, like as if she expected to me say yes, and get right on it, especially when I have a new job, and not much days off yet.

 

So I dunno, do you think that maybe she likes showing me off, or am I just making too big a deal out of this perhaps?

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CautiouslyOptimistic

I think she just likes being with you, has expectations of what being boyfriend/girlfriend looks like in terms of attending events together, and is perhaps a little bossy ;).

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I feel like my gf invites me to way too many events she wants me to go to, like dinners with parents and family, and relatives, and things like that, as well as work events.

 

We first start seeing each other in April, but I feel that maybe she considers me to be a boyfriend to show off sometimes, cause if I don't want to, she will say things like everyone wants to meet me, family and a couple of co-workers so far. Why? Is going out since April long enough for the everyone wants to meet me stage?

April is about 5 months ago, for some couples that's long enough. If it's not long enough for you, then you should tell her honestly that you're not quite at that stage of the relationship yet. But I wouldn't assume that she's "trying to show you off", don't you think that's a rather egotistical assumption to jump to? ;)

 

Most long-term couples do attend a lot of "plus one invited" events together.

She wants me to go to Christmas dinner for her work and told me to book off a couple of days, cause apparently Christmas dinner for work, is a three or more hour drive away in another city, and I have to stay overnight in a hotel.

 

Now maybe if she were to have asked me, I would have responded more positively, but she sends me a text saying book it off cause we are staying over night, at a hotel, and everything is paid for, without even asking, like as if she expected to me say yes, and get right on it, especially when I have a new job, and not much days off yet.

What is her response if you tell her you can't take those days off?

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I think she just likes being with you, has expectations of what being boyfriend/girlfriend looks like in terms of attending events together, and is perhaps a little bossy ;).

 

I agree. Revised to say "a lot bossy" haha. I wouldn't like it either, OP. And unless you want to end up with someone who is always wearing the pants, tell her she needs to ASK you out of respect. Good luck

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40somethingGuy
I feel like my gf invites me to way too many events she wants me to go to, like dinners with parents and family, and relatives, and things like that, as well as work events.

 

We first start seeing each other in April, but I feel that maybe she considers me to be a boyfriend to show off sometimes, cause if I don't want to, she will say things like everyone wants to meet me, family and a couple of co-workers so far. Why? Is going out since April long enough for the everyone wants to meet me stage?

 

She wants me to go to Christmas dinner for her work and told me to book off a couple of days, cause apparently Christmas dinner for work, is a three or more hour drive away in another city, and I have to stay overnight in a hotel.

 

Now maybe if she were to have asked me, I would have responded more positively, but she sends me a text saying book it off cause we are staying over night, at a hotel, and everything is paid for, without even asking, like as if she expected to me say yes, and get right on it, especially when I have a new job, and not much days off yet.

 

So I dunno, do you think that maybe she likes showing me off, or am I just making too big a deal out of this perhaps?

 

She is proud to have you by her side. God forbid she wants to show you off because she is proud to have you. Some day when you don't have that you will kick yourself for not appreciating having someone like her that genuinely wants to be with you. And staying in a free hotel will give you some nice together time. Just go with it. Unless you are not into her.

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She wants someone to go with. She doesn't want to go to this stuff alone. I don't know if she's trying to show you off as well but mainly she doesn't want to go to this stuff alone and wants company. she wants a mate who is a companion. That's what having a partner is about.

 

I suggest you go to the any overnight or company parties with her because those things are notorious for getting out of hand. You get close to people you work with and then something like that throws you into a party environment. Pack your bags. if you don't want to participate in her life you need to let her know that so she can find someone who does. You don't have to go to every little thing with her, but you certainly have to participate in family stuff on special occasions and make an appearance in her life on a regular basis.

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thefooloftheyear

When someone says "trophy" that makes me think that the person has some physical characteristics that really stand out enough to make other people take notice...Women-slim, nice ass/large breasts...great hair...Men-Great physique, broad shoulders, chiseled facial features, etc...

 

And generally speaking, they will make sure to tell you to dress in such a way that those features are more prominently noticed/displayed when out at functions....

 

If you are just a regular guy, then it's probably not a trophy thing...but who knows..

 

TFY

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