ladies only

[Chris516]

Sorry if I put this in the wrong forum.

 

Ladies, Would you allow a guy to sleep in your bedroom, but not in your bed. While you slept in your bed?

 

I will furnish further info, as to the individual answers

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to provide more information:

 

Who is the guy? Someone I'm dating, a friend, or..?

[Chris516]

You need to provide more information:

 

Who is the guy? Someone I'm dating, a friend, or..?

 

The guy could be anyone, who is a friend.

[basil67]

If I already have a boyfriend - No

If I don't have a boyfriend and he and I have no romantic interest on either side -Yes

If I don't have a boyfriend, he is interested in me but I'm not interested in him - No

If I don't have a boyfriend and I don't trust his behaviour - No

If he's been annoying me lately - No

If he's sick and needs someone to care for him - Yes

etc.

 

Honestly....there are far too many contingencies to give a straight answer.

[RandomPuzzle]

Would have to be some seriously weird circumstances where there is no space anywhere else and it is an actual logical situation for a guy friend to sleep on the floor...in my bedroom. I’ve never had this happen and don’t ever anticipate it happening by this point in my life. I would sooner call them an Uber, my treat, then have them sleep on my floor, which I think is kind of impolite if they are my friend/guest.

[LauraXX]

I wouldn't if the guy was interested in me and I didn't reciprocate these feelings. Might give him the wrong impression.

 

In any other situation - yes, I wouldn't mind letting a (male) friend sleep at my place. Happened several times actually. I live in the city center (most of my friends don't) and I'd rather have them crash at my place than drive back home in the middle of the night (especially after drinking).

 

I let them sleep on the sofa, not in my bed of course. But my place is basically one big open space so it's almost as if they were sleeping in my room

Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.

[PegNosePete]

No, we've got 3 spare bedrooms so he can have one of those.

 

More info needed if you want more useful answers.

[Chris516]

If I already have a boyfriend - No

If I don't have a boyfriend and he and I have no romantic interest on either side -Yes

If I don't have a boyfriend, he is interested in me but I'm not interested in him - No

If I don't have a boyfriend and I don't trust his behaviour - No

If he's been annoying me lately - No

If he's sick and needs someone to care for him - Yes

etc.

 

Honestly....there are far too many contingencies to give a straight answer.

 

You mentioned one that answers my question.

 

I am interested in her. But she said she is not ready to date(again).

 

I have visited her three times. Each time, I slept on a single mattress in her bedroom. When I mentioned about wanting to sleep in the living room. She objected. So, I slept on a mattress in her room.

[Chris516]

Would have to be some seriously weird circumstances where there is no space anywhere else and it is an actual logical situation for a guy friend to sleep on the floor...in my bedroom. I’ve never had this happen and don’t ever anticipate it happening by this point in my life. I would sooner call them an Uber, my treat, then have them sleep on my floor, which I think is kind of impolite if they are my friend/guest.

For the past couple of years, she has allowed a male friend, who she went to high school with, sleep in the living room. Since the second bedroom is full of 'stuff', and she told me tonight. That she has asked the guy to move out by the end of October. But, That second bedroom will still have 'stuff' in it. Since the second bedroom will still have 'stuff', in it. So, When do go out there again, sometime in the future. It will probably be the mattress on the floor in her room, again. Since I don't sleep well on a couch.

 

I wouldn't if the guy was interested in me and I didn't reciprocate these feelings. Might give him the wrong impression.

 

In any other situation - yes, I wouldn't mind letting a (male) friend sleep at my place. Happened several times actually. I live in the city center (most of my friends don't) and I'd rather have them crash at my place than drive back home in the middle of the night (especially after drinking).

 

I let them sleep on the sofa, not in my bed of course. But my place is basically one big open space so it's almost as if they were sleeping in my room

Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.

When I do make plans in the future to go out there. I have a feeling she will still want me on the mattress on the floor, in her room. Because I told her once, that I was going to sleep on the floor in the living room. She immediately told me to sleep on the mattress in her bedroom. Rather than argue about it. I slept in her room.

 

No, we've got 3 spare bedrooms so he can have one of those.

 

More info needed if you want more useful answers.

Your answer was good.

[d0nnivain]

During a natural disaster if there were no other safe options probably. Under other circumstances hell no. 1). I have a guest room. 2). I have couches

 

More importantly I'm not a tease. I don't have sleep overs with men I'm not intimate with.

 

This woman who is letting you sleep on a mattress in her room is playing some sort of head game. She doesn't know WTF she wants. Stop bothering with her until she gets her head out of her @$$

[BaileyB]

I don't have sleepovers with men that I am not intimate with either.

 

You have to ask yourself why she wants you there, but not enough to be in her bed. And then decide, is that acceptable to you.

[Kelliousme]

Circumstances where I'd allow a man to sleep in my bedroom but not on my bed while I'm sleeping in bed in the same room:

1. He's not my boyfriend (Duh, or else he'd be in bed with me), but I'm romantically interested in him.

2. He's a super close friend of mine and we have no choice but to share a room.

3. He's my brother.

[kendahke]

Sorry if I put this in the wrong forum.

 

Ladies, Would you allow a guy to sleep in your bedroom, but not in your bed. While you slept in your bed?

 

Why would I let a stranger sleep in my house, let alone my own bedroom?

 

No. He can go sleep in his own bed at his house.

[basil67]

You mentioned one that answers my question.

 

I am interested in her. But she said she is not ready to date(again).

 

I have visited her three times. Each time, I slept on a single mattress in her bedroom. When I mentioned about wanting to sleep in the living room. She objected. So, I slept on a mattress in her room.

 

You could have started the post with this information

 

Do you have a specific question about it?

[Chris516]

During a natural disaster if there were no other safe options probably. Under other circumstances hell no. 1). I have a guest room. 2). I have couches

 

More importantly I'm not a tease. I don't have sleep overs with men I'm not intimate with.

 

This woman who is letting you sleep on a mattress in her room is playing some sort of head game. She doesn't know WTF she wants. Stop bothering with her until she gets her head out of her @$$

She has a second bedroom full of 'stuff'. That will not be cleared out any time soon. The couch in the living room is hers. So, That would be available after the high school friend moves out in October.

I don't have sleepovers with men that I am not intimate with either.

 

You have to ask yourself why she wants you there, but not enough to be in her bed. And then decide, is that acceptable to you.

Agreed

Circumstances where I'd allow a man to sleep in my bedroom but not on my bed while I'm sleeping in bed in the same room:

1. He's not my boyfriend (Duh, or else he'd be in bed with me), but I'm romantically interested in him.

2. He's a super close friend of mine and we have no choice but to share a room.

3. He's my brother.

#2 is what the situation is, at present. She asked the guy she let live on her couch, to leave. He is moving out at the end of October. Her adult son has never liked the guy. She told me the second bedroom will not be free of 'stuff', after the guy leaves.

Why would I let a stranger sleep in my house, let alone my own bedroom?

 

No. He can go sleep in his own bed at his house.

I ask the question with a generic tone. But I should have mentioned, knowing the guy. Not a stranger. A stranger would be worse than bad.

You could have started the post with this information

 

Do you have a specific question about it?

[Chris516]

During a natural disaster if there were no other safe options probably. Under other circumstances hell no. 1). I have a guest room. 2). I have couches

 

More importantly I'm not a tease. I don't have sleep overs with men I'm not intimate with.

 

This woman who is letting you sleep on a mattress in her room is playing some sort of head game. She doesn't know WTF she wants. Stop bothering with her until she gets her head out of her @$$

She has a second bedroom full of 'stuff'. That will not be cleared out any time soon. The couch in the living room is hers. So, That would be available after the high school friend moves out in October.

I don't have sleepovers with men that I am not intimate with either.

 

You have to ask yourself why she wants you there, but not enough to be in her bed. And then decide, is that acceptable to you.

Agreed

Circumstances where I'd allow a man to sleep in my bedroom but not on my bed while I'm sleeping in bed in the same room:

1. He's not my boyfriend (Duh, or else he'd be in bed with me), but I'm romantically interested in him.

2. He's a super close friend of mine and we have no choice but to share a room.

3. He's my brother.

#2 is what the situation is, at present. She asked the guy she let live on her couch, to leave. He is moving out at the end of October. Her adult son has never liked the guy. She told me the second bedroom will not be free of 'stuff', after the guy leaves.

Why would I let a stranger sleep in my house, let alone my own bedroom?

 

No. He can go sleep in his own bed at his house.

I ask the question with a generic tone. But I should have mentioned, knowing the guy. Not a stranger. A stranger would be worse than bad.

You could have started the post with this information

 

Do you have a specific question about it?

Not really.

[d0nnivain]

If she has a 2nd bedroom this guy staying on her couch should be in the bedroom, especially if the stuff is his. It makes no sense that he sleeps in a public / shared space, taking her living room.

 

The more you post the more I Q whether this woman has any sense whatsoever.

[PRW]

If I already have a boyfriend - No

If I don't have a boyfriend and he and I have no romantic interest on either side -Yes

If I don't have a boyfriend, he is interested in me but I'm not interested in him - No

If I don't have a boyfriend and I don't trust his behaviour - No

If he's been annoying me lately - No

If he's sick and needs someone to care for him - Yes

etc.

 

Honestly....there are far too many contingencies to give a straight answer.

This is the best response. It doesn't need a straight answer.

 

 

 

I've been that guy in the past, but never again. If they don't have a spare bedroom or at least a sofa I won't stay. I might not even stay with a sofa,...I'm laying there on the sofa in my underwear under a blanket with kids, dogs, cats, and hamsters running through the house,...no thanks.

[kendahke]

I ask the question with a generic tone. But I should have mentioned, knowing the guy. Not a stranger. A stranger would be worse than bad.

 

Even knowing the guy--he can go home and sleep in his own bed unless he is my lover.

 

#2 is what the situation is, at present. She asked the guy she let live on her couch, to leave. He is moving out at the end of October. Her adult son has never liked the guy. She told me the second bedroom will not be free of 'stuff', after the guy leaves.

 

Ugh... messy

Edited September 20, 2018 by kendahke

[misspalmy]

pending who it was

[justwhoiam]

Would you allow a guy to sleep in your bedroom, but not in your bed. While you slept in your bed?

Maybe.

As the (moderate?) control freak I am, sleeping in the same room would allow him not to have any privacy or not to get nosy/go through my stuff.

 

 

She might just like company.

 

 

The point is, she sees you differently than the guy who was staying on her couch. Maybe it's that she's more comfortable with you, or maybe she hopes for some move from you.

[preraph]

If he was just a friend and I knew him and he wasn't some stranger. If there was dating going on or romantic interest on either side, I wouldn't. I'd at least put him out on the couch.

[preraph]

I will just cut to the chase and say she isn't interested in you romantically. She isn't afraid of you, probably because there's others in the house. You later mentioned she has a son in the house? So she may figure if she'd going to let some guy crash at her house, she better keep him right where she can see him at all times and also where he won't be underfoot of her son.

 

But she's not into you. She sounds overly tolerant.