dancingintherain12 Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 I want to build a relationship and get to know him more so how do I get more dates/ contact? Should I, as a woman, text him myself or will I look desperate? I texted him myself a few times. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 ONE of the guys you are dating? Are you seeing a few / multidating? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancingintherain12 Posted September 16, 2018 Author Share Posted September 16, 2018 ONE of the guys you are dating? Are you seeing a few / multidating? Only two at the moment. Details in previous threads Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 I want to build a relationship and get to know him more so how do I get more dates/ contact? Should I, as a woman, text him myself or will I look desperate? I texted him myself a few times. Let’s pretend that two people are dating and both are so afraid to look “desperate” that no one initiate contact - what would happen? Absolutely nothing. Here is an idea: You could invite him to do something..? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancingintherain12 Posted September 16, 2018 Author Share Posted September 16, 2018 Let’s pretend that two people are dating and both are so afraid to look “desperate” that no one initiate contact - what would happen? Absolutely nothing. Here is an idea: You could invite him to do something..? Ok so I need to post more details since I messed up on our last date and kind of turned him off but I dont have time right now. I just asked him out on another date and he sort of rejected me because he said he was busy and i said i'd like to see him again and no response :/ I have a lot of good things going for me and have a great heart, good looks, good personality etc... but I always scare guys away and it sucks. Idk how to deal with being rejected. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 Well lets see....the one guy you called him out on swiping right on a dating app that turned out to be your friend. Obviously he's going to carefully back off from you. Why? he got busted that he is still actively looking. That should tell you it's not going to happen with him...he's out. Like I tell everyone else, when they start making excuses like "oh ya I go this thing to go to, I'm not sure, I'll let you know, blah blah blah...he's done, and you better just drop him. Why you are getting rejected? Because to them, they don't feel a connection, or the attraction isn't strong enough, don't like your personality, etc etc. It's the same reason why you are not interested in a guy. You may look good on paper, but you are not right for everyone. This is why everyone dates, to see and feel if that person is right for them. You just have to keep looking that is all. Oh and you are not scaring them away, they are just not really that into you, or they don't like your laugh or have other prospects, or whatever. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 Sounds like he's not interested anymore and there's no point pushing it. You can't make someone like you. Next. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 Sounds like he's not interested anymore and there's no point pushing it. You can't make someone like you. Next. This^^^100% 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancingintherain12 Posted September 17, 2018 Author Share Posted September 17, 2018 Well lets see....the one guy you called him out on swiping right on a dating app that turned out to be your friend. Obviously he's going to carefully back off from you. Why? he got busted that he is still actively looking. That should tell you it's not going to happen with him...he's out. Like I tell everyone else, when they start making excuses like "oh ya I go this thing to go to, I'm not sure, I'll let you know, blah blah blah...he's done, and you better just drop him. Why you are getting rejected? Because to them, they don't feel a connection, or the attraction isn't strong enough, don't like your personality, etc etc. It's the same reason why you are not interested in a guy. You may look good on paper, but you are not right for everyone. This is why everyone dates, to see and feel if that person is right for them. You just have to keep looking that is all. Oh and you are not scaring them away, they are just not really that into you, or they don't like your laugh or have other prospects, or whatever. He just texted me today and chatted with me, let me know how his weekend was, asked about mine and that was it. Does that mean hes interested? Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Well what would you expect if he's "one" of the guys your dating. What you expect him to take you seriously or for anything more than a fling ? l wouldn't be contacting you at all , if you turned up on my door step l might spend some time with you if l had nothing else goin on that day but that'd be as far as l'd bother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 He just texted me today and chatted with me, let me know how his weekend was, asked about mine and that was it. Does that mean hes interested? He's still interested. If he wasn't he wouldn't have texted you. The level of interest is questionable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 He just texted me today and chatted with me, let me know how his weekend was, asked about mine and that was it. Does that mean hes interested? Has he asked to see you? Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 He just texted me today and chatted with me, let me know how his weekend was, asked about mine and that was it. Does that mean hes interested? If he hasn’t made it crystal clear he wants to see you again by actually asking you out, then no he isn’t interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 If he hasn’t made it crystal clear he wants to see you again by actually asking you out, then no he isn’t interested. To generalised of a statement. He is likely somewhat interested otherwise he wouldn’t have contacted at all. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 To generalised of a statement. He is likely somewhat interested otherwise he wouldn’t have contacted at all. It’s too low. Otherwise he’d actually want to SEE her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 It’s too low. Otherwise he’d actually want to SEE her. Maybe he want to see her but feels like it’s her turn to ask him out? Or maybe he don’t know his “options” yet and maintain some contact. Maybe he isn’t sure himself. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Ok so I need to post more details since I messed up on our last date and kind of turned him off but I dont have time right now. I just asked him out on another date and he sort of rejected me because he said he was busy and i said i'd like to see him again and no response :/ I have a lot of good things going for me and have a great heart, good looks, good personality etc... but I always scare guys away and it sucks. Idk how to deal with being rejected. So do a lot of other women. It's the emotional connection that pulls a man to you. I agree with Smackie you aren't scarring them away; it's either they want you or they don't. Obviously you should chose the other guy you're dating because this one isn't into you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Date those who treat you the way you want to be treated...if they don't they are not right for YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 It's the same for men as women - if we aren't attracted, that fact is never going to change. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Aleksj Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Well lets see....the one guy you called him out on swiping right on a dating app that turned out to be your friend. Obviously he's going to carefully back off from you. Why? he got busted that he is still actively looking. That should tell you it's not going to happen with him...he's out. Like I tell everyone else, when they start making excuses like "oh ya I go this thing to go to, I'm not sure, I'll let you know, blah blah blah...he's done, and you better just drop him. Why you are getting rejected? Because to them, they don't feel a connection, or the attraction isn't strong enough, don't like your personality, etc etc. It's the same reason why you are not interested in a guy. You may look good on paper, but you are not right for everyone. This is why everyone dates, to see and feel if that person is right for them. You just have to keep looking that is all. Oh and you are not scaring them away, they are just not really that into you, or they don't like your laugh or have other prospects, or whatever. Thank you for setting the record straight. So many girls tell themselves stories (and appear to believe them) about why a guy is not chasing them, when in most cases, it's incredibly simple: not interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 He just texted me today and chatted with me, let me know how his weekend was, asked about mine and that was it. Does that mean hes interested? Yes that is what it means. I'm just going to look at the original question,...the rest is just too much to digest. Once a week is perfectly fine. I go longer than that when they are NOT my girlfriend yet, particularly if I am also seeing others (which I should be, and so should you). If I date one this weekend and another one next weekend,...do the math,...it will be two weeks until I contact the first one again. You are both dating other people, so stop complaining if he is,...when you are doing it too. It is a competition,...so play to win. At this point you are not each other's boyfriend/girlfriend so stop expecting each other to act like you are. People who refuse to compete are people who refuse to win. Serial "dumpers" who dump someone at the drop of a hat never accomplish anything and spend the rest of their lives dumping guys over and over and over, and then run around saying "Why aren't there any good guys left out there any more?!?!". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Well what would you expect if he's "one" of the guys your dating. What you expect him to take you seriously or for anything more than a fling ? l wouldn't be contacting you at all , if you turned up on my door step l might spend some time with you if l had nothing else goin on that day but that'd be as far as l'd bother. Nothing wrong with multi-dating. The problem is when one expects the other to "act" as if they aren't,...which is the case here. The multi-dating drops off after one option stands out in the crowd from the others and you start to narrow down to one. Link to post Share on other sites
Rocker71 Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Thank you for setting the record straight. So many girls tell themselves stories (and appear to believe them) about why a guy is not chasing them, when in most cases, it's incredibly simple: not interested. He might be trying to follow one of many dating coaches out there that advocate reaching out to a woman only one time per week. But when reaching out he should make dates/arrange a get together. Maybe he's seeing other women too. That's what I'd do. I won't contact a woman I'm interested in more than once a week because maybe there's some other dude blowing up her phone and killing her attraction for him. Did you notice this guy stands out as different because he contacts once a week? But he's not making a date. Maybe he wants you to chase him. Suggest a date with him and see his reaction/if he keeps said date. I don't chase women any more. The last 2 women I really liked got turned off when I called 2 or 3 times a week wanting to see them. Now I don't chase. I figure if their interest is high they will contact me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 He might be trying to follow one of many dating coaches out there that advocate reaching out to a woman only one time per week. But when reaching out he should make dates/arrange a get together. Maybe he's seeing other women too. That's what I'd do. I won't contact a woman I'm interested in more than once a week because maybe there's some other dude blowing up her phone and killing her attraction for him. Did you notice this guy stands out as different because he contacts once a week? But he's not making a date. Maybe he wants you to chase him. Suggest a date with him and see his reaction/if he keeps said date. I don't chase women any more. The last 2 women I really liked got turned off when I called 2 or 3 times a week wanting to see them. Now I don't chase. I figure if their interest is high they will contact me. This is good advice for men who are looking my for a gf. It weeds out the ones who have low interest. If a girl likes you enough, she will reach out to you. If the guy is interested, he will setup a date to see you again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancingintherain12 Posted September 17, 2018 Author Share Posted September 17, 2018 It’s too low. Otherwise he’d actually want to SEE her. He just asked to see me Link to post Share on other sites
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