lovesickcanuck Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 So, I had posted about being dumped by the woman who I was recently with. (see the thread, "can anyone relate") In a weird turn of events, just days ago, a woman I had been involved with over a year ago, contacted me out of the blue. Her and I had had a relationship. It started out as a long distance relationship and we never did get to spend a ton of time together. At the time, we both had lots of other stuff going on in our lives. Me, doing a custody battle for my daughter and her sorting through **** from her past with her dad. It never really worked, although we both seemed to have a fair amount of feelings for each other. While it's been nice having contact with her and I will admit it's a great lift to my ego and self esteem and even adds a little hope to my current situation, that I am not as forgettable as I may have thought, I am at odds with myself. We've been chatting back and forth through text. Reliving some of the old times and just reconnecting. I don't have any feelings for this woman anymore, but it has proven to be a decent distraction from my current feelings for the woman I am in love with, who is currently asking for time and space. Problem being, I have no intention of rekindling with the one who has recently gotten back in touch with me, but I'm getting the idea that she may be hopeful of that happening. She has invited me down to stay with her this Friday night and while I would love to go, purely for the physical aspect that I know will happen, I don't want to get her hopes up. I could use it as a way to start to move past my relationship that just ended, but am unsure as to whether or not this would be a wise idea. Please help. Not that I am confused, but I need a sane opinion from someone. Link to post Share on other sites
ppc Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 Please, don't use a woman just to get over anybody else. Especially if you think that she is interested in you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunlight72 Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 ^^^Perfect Point^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesickcanuck Posted August 9, 2018 Author Share Posted August 9, 2018 Point taken. One that I should have been able to draw myself, but my mind and heart have been a little clouded in the last few weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 9, 2018 Share Posted August 9, 2018 You need to be honest with her. Tell her you don't want to lead her on and that if you got together it would just be casual and not be going anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 while the quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else, be careful. You can hurt someone and feel even worse about yourself. You said you once had feelings; is there any chance being face to face may rekindle some of that? If not, why not? Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 Only you can decide if this is going to be a rebound or something else. But, as a rule of thumb, I give myself a bit to recoup emotionally after the end of a relationship before I start dating again. I spend time out with my friends or doing things alone to get back into the "bachelor groove" before I date again. I haven't done so in the past and have ignored many red flags women have thrown up because I was still bummed about the previous break up. I might have been "over" my previous SO but I needed time. Link to post Share on other sites
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