Puzzle11 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 This guy and I have been in contact for over a year. Sometimes, he initiates a conversation, sometimes he just sends cute/funny pics. Few months ago, we kissed at the club (I was drunk) and took a taxi together on our way home, but he walked me to my apartment and then went home. Few months ago, he started his own business, and I helped him with certain programs (mostly giving him advice and explaining how things work). Then, I asked him if we were to do strictly business from now on and forget everything (the fact that we kissed, flirting, texting everyday). He said yes, only business. However, he kept texting me. Recently, he thanked me for helping him with his business and asked if I wanted anything (he wanted to show his gratitude). I said "I want to go swim with sharks and I want you to come with me." He agreed. Few days ago, he texted me a meme, something like "if this text makes you smile, know that I like your smile." After that we haven't spoke in more than a week. Yesterday, I sent him a text, asking about his business. He replied and then asked when we were going to swim with sharks. I finally asked him what he wanted. I reminded him of what he said and let him know that was sending mix signals. He replied: "Business is always a priority, but there should be some fun, too. We should go swim with sharks, anything after that will be easier." Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 He enjoys your company but has zero interest in dating you. The door to ask you out has been open at least since you kissed. He's done nothing to move in that direction & has verbalized the desire not to get involved. Give up hope. Go swim with the sharks with him if you like but find somebody else to date, somebody who is actually into you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 I think he is holding his cards close to his chest to avoid rejection. Already you have been putting on the breaks, so he's kinda unsure or doesn't want to be so pushy to scare you away. If you want a man to be receptive, you have to be receptive and put yourself out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Puzzle11 Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 I think he is holding his cards close to his chest to avoid rejection. Already you have been putting on the breaks, so he's kinda unsure or doesn't want to be so pushy to scare you away. If you want a man to be receptive, you have to be receptive and put yourself out there. What do you mean "I have been putting on the breaks"? Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 The way I read your post, he proposed going with you to swim with the sharks and you sent a reply asking about his business. That's putting on the breaks. A guy gets a response like that, and he feels his overture has been very much ignored--therefore shot down. In fact, that's a response that someone definitely NOT interested and who is telling the person," don't talk to me about anything person. Talk to me only about business." BTW: that phrase "swimming with the sharks"--I couldn't tell if he was being literal or figurative. One way to show interest is to ask him what he means. You mean literally swim with the sharks? ... or you mean do something fun and wild? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Puzzle11 Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 The way I read your post, he proposed going with you to swim with the sharks and you sent a reply asking about his business. That's putting on the breaks. A guy gets a response like that, and he feels his overture has been very much ignored--therefore shot down. In fact, that's a response that someone definitely NOT interested and who is telling the person," don't talk to me about anything person. Talk to me only about business." BTW: that phrase "swimming with the sharks"--I couldn't tell if he was being literal or figurative. One way to show interest is to ask him what he means. You mean literally swim with the sharks? ... or you mean do something fun and wild? Let me clarify. We haven't spoken in 10 days, so I reached out and asked how he was doing, and how is his new business. He replied it was going well. Then he asked me about "my proposition" to go swim with the sharks. I told him that i was free next month (because we don't live in the area, we would have to go on a trip). He agreed (though nothing specific). Then, I remembered that he said we should forget everything we had so far. I also remembered how we have been going in circles for a year... so I asked him what he wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 He's being nice, but he doesn't see you as his girlfriend and he doesn't want to give you any illusions or hope that that is on the table with him right now--because it's not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 It sounds like he has SOME kind of interest in you beyond just business, but not enough to do anything definite about it right now. Maybe he's seeing someone else but is keeping his options open. Unfortunately you'll probably just have to let time reveal if there's anything else there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 If he hasn't said "I like you other than things now" then he doesn't mean he likes you in that way. I think, anyway. Keep your options open. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 The guy sounds like he's waffling between pursuing a dating relationship with you, and not mixing up business with pleasure in your professional relationship. I'm sure you're feeling the same insecurities. He keeps bringing up the "swimming with the sharks," and to me that suggests he is open to exploring dating you, but he has his reservations and he's waiting on you to give him the green light. You are putting on the brakes and also sending mixed signals. When he asked if you needed anything or what he could do for you, which you express was a professional courtesy, your response was a little silly and flirty about the sharks. I think you are both in this situation where you'd like to pursue more, but you work professionally and it's maybe not the best idea. He's following your lead with questioning professional vs. personal, yet it seems he'd like some more; otherwise, why bring up the shark swimming? So my thought is to pick and stick...keep it strictly professional and behave in such a manner, or let him know that maybe shark swimming isn't on the books immediately, but you'd wouldn't mind a cup of coffee or a drink one of these days until shark swimming (were you serious about this?) is a possibility. What is it that you want to do with him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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