Should I dump her?

[grazyexes]

I have been friends with this girl for two years. We have been very flirty and touchy all that time. Earlier this year it escalated and we had sex. I started to like her little bit and asked her out. She agreed and we spent few nights together during next month.

 

I liked her but I noticed she wasnt 100% there all the time. One day she just didnt text me good morning/night anymore and soon I saw her spending time with my friend.

 

I didnt say anything and acted like it was all good. She was with him month or two until he told her that he doesnt want anything serious.

 

One month after that I ended up having sex with her again for some reason. She started to text me once a day. We slept together again. She started to text me more. We had more sex. And now shes blowing up my phone every day with texts and when we are together I can tell that she has feelings for me.

Her behavior is completely different this time.

 

But should I dump her? Sometimes I feel sick when I think about all what has happened.

 

1. I feel like 2nd option

2. She was with my friend.

3. I feel like I stole her from my friend.

4. I feel anxious when im with her and my friend comes there.

5. I feel like others think that she left him because of me.

 

I like her alot.

[Highndry]

It sounds to me like she's more of a f**k buddy that relationship material. I certainly wouldn't date a woman who slept with me, then my friend, then came back to me. You've gone a step further than I would have by sleeping with her again, but I've never been big on sloppy seconds.

[act00]

I think you never had any type of defined courtship. You slept with her, but you never dated or courted. It was friends, loose, casual, flirting. You were "pals" for a couple of years, flirting, fell into bed, and then you state AFTER you slept with her, this is when you STARTED to like her A LITTLE BIT.

 

A little bit?

 

Well, blow off my panties on that proclamation of love...<sarcasm>

 

She moved on, and then is back with you. You have been aloof, and SORT OF like her A LITTLE BIT.

 

I don't know if it's too late for this girl because she moved on to your friend and back to you, but whether it's this girl or someone else, I think that if you're interested in pursuing a relationship with someone, you need to have some defined steps and defined goals...dates...DATE HER. Take her out. Spend time with her alone. Be a gentleman. Woo her.

 

Don't continue on with this flirt here and there at parties and fall into bed and no one knows what the other is thinking or doing and being all flirty, yet nothing happens...until it does...and everyone is confused, and it's just a mess.

 

Be her boyfriend...her potential boyfriend...date her. Ask her out. Define the relationship in actions...words will come later on exclusive, etc., but if you want this girl to be your girlfriend, DATE her. Be defined on what this relationship is.

[coolheadal]

I have been friends with this girl for two years. We have been very flirty and touchy all that time. Earlier this year it escalated and we had sex. I started to like her little bit and asked her out. She agreed and we spent few nights together during next month.

 

I liked her but I noticed she wasnt 100% there all the time. One day she just didnt text me good morning/night anymore and soon I saw her spending time with my friend.

 

I didnt say anything and acted like it was all good. She was with him month or two until he told her that he doesnt want anything serious.

 

One month after that I ended up having sex with her again for some reason. She started to text me once a day. We slept together again. She started to text me more. We had more sex. And now shes blowing up my phone every day with texts and when we are together I can tell that she has feelings for me.

Her behavior is completely different this time.

 

But should I dump her? Sometimes I feel sick when I think about all what has happened.

 

1. I feel like 2nd option

2. She was with my friend.

3. I feel like I stole her from my friend.

4. I feel anxious when im with her and my friend comes there.

5. I feel like others think that she left him because of me.

 

I like her alot.

 

You like her a lot because of the sex as you never dated her. When you want sex she's there for you. Your friend isn't engage or married to her so she's wide open to be with whoever she wants, but kinda makes you think what sort of girl is she? She dates your friend and fornicate on a regular bases with you too. Is that all you want from your sex concubine?

[Echo74]

I have been friends with this girl for two years. We have been very flirty and touchy all that time. Earlier this year it escalated and we had sex. I started to like her little bit and asked her out. She agreed and we spent few nights together during next month.

 

I liked her but I noticed she wasnt 100% there all the time. One day she just didnt text me good morning/night anymore and soon I saw her spending time with my friend.

 

I didnt say anything and acted like it was all good. She was with him month or two until he told her that he doesnt want anything serious.

 

One month after that I ended up having sex with her again for some reason. She started to text me once a day. We slept together again. She started to text me more. We had more sex. And now shes blowing up my phone every day with texts and when we are together I can tell that she has feelings for me.

Her behavior is completely different this time.

 

But should I dump her? Sometimes I feel sick when I think about all what has happened.

 

1. I feel like 2nd option

2. She was with my friend.

3. I feel like I stole her from my friend.

4. I feel anxious when im with her and my friend comes there.

5. I feel like others think that she left him because of me.

 

I like her alot.

 

1. Could be, but she's not gf material anyway.

2. Yep. Your juices, his juices and back to your juices. ICK

3. He dumped her, probably because she's so easy.

4. Yep, I'd be embarrassed to be with someone like that.

5. Or others think/know she's easy and think you're nuts.

 

Maybe you should be more discriminating. Maybe you're thinking with the wrong "head".

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Look at the facts.

 

You were casually seeing/sleeping with a girl. It wasn't getting serious so she starts seeing another guy (your friend).

You said nothing and acted like you didn't care.

The friend showed as little interest in getting serious with her as you did.

She started spending time with you again.

Now she is showing more interest and giving you more attention this time.

Now you are freaking out and want to dump her, why? Out of insecurity and ego?

 

It seems pretty clear that she is looking for a partner and doesn't want to settle for being a casual hookup so she keeping her options open. Bad form to pick someone close to you, but perhaps that was the point?

 

I don't understand why you would feel bad if people think she left him for you? He did the same thing to you and clearly he doesn't care about her anyway. This is a non issue.

 

If you want to know her motives and feelings, just ask. Communicate with her and see if you are on the same page and want the same things.

[Doost]

You’re not dating her so no need to dump her. If she’s hot just keep having sex with her and feel free to stop worrying so much. Obviously don’t make her your gf if that is something you were going to do just so you could dump her.

[grazyexes]

Yeah I was pretty much cold fish and acted like a player before she started to hang out with my friend. She often called me "dickhead" etc.

 

Right now I show more of my real feelings and I am more myself than before. She seems to like me more and more when I am just myself. No hiding behind the shell or anything.

 

I dont know... Only time will tell how this is going to go

[kendahke]

I have been friends with this girl for two years. We have been very flirty and touchy all that time. Earlier this year it escalated and we had sex. I started to like her little bit and asked her out. She agreed and we spent few nights together during next month.

 

I liked her but I noticed she wasnt 100% there all the time. One day she just didnt text me good morning/night anymore and soon I saw her spending time with my friend.

 

I didnt say anything and acted like it was all good. She was with him month or two until he told her that he doesnt want anything serious.

 

One month after that I ended up having sex with her again for some reason. She started to text me once a day. We slept together again. She started to text me more. We had more sex. And now shes blowing up my phone every day with texts and when we are together I can tell that she has feelings for me.

Her behavior is completely different this time.

 

But should I dump her? Sometimes I feel sick when I think about all what has happened.

 

1. I feel like 2nd option

 

yet you dropped the ball by being slow on the asking her to be your girlfriend.

 

2. She was with my friend.

 

That's not a contract for anything. She still is your friend---that you've had sex with yet again, so she must not be all that bad if you're doing that.

 

3. I feel like I stole her from my friend.

 

Your friend said he didn't want anything serious with her, but you do.

 

4. I feel anxious when im with her and my friend comes there.

 

That's what you're going to have to handle if you elect to be with her.

 

5. I feel like others think that she left him because of me.

 

I like her alot.

 

People are going to think whatever the hell they want to think and there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot control what/how people think. If it bothers you that much, you shouldn't go out of the house until you get to the point where what other people think is none of your business. Seriously. Who cares what they think? They don't pay your bills, do they?

Edited July 17, 2018 by kendahke

[smackie9]

Who really gives a rat's butt about her dating yer friend. You like her, and things are looking serious, so wtf, just go for it. Not everyone makes the best choices/decisions, that's just life. This time around have the talk so she knows what direction you want things to go...just so you both are on the same page. If not, then ditch her. You didn't waste your time then. Communicating your expectations is key.

[Sunlight72]

I dont know... Only time will tell how this is going to go

For crying out loud, what is with you?

 

Choose something. Consider if you like her and want to get more serious, or, if you don't really like her and don't want more time / seriousness with her. Then act to make it happen.

 

Be the man. Decide what you want, and get it.

 

If you don't know what you want, and don't drive toward something, then what time will tell is that two marshmallows squished next to each other for a little while and then sort of flopped off. Good lord.