me understand

[Hojashojas]

I have a fixation with a girl I used to date. Long story short she dumped me twice but now she wants me back. In summary:

Pros

• I really really like her
  
• She is a lawyer
  
• She does charity work
  
• She ran a marathon
  

The cons:

• She admits she has a problem with cocaine. Even though she said she has not done in 3 months. Last time was at her brother's wedding. Isn't doing a family ocassion a red flag?
  
• She also admitted she has once done it when she was sad
  
• When we first started dated she flaked on me because she had spent the whole night with her dealer snorting coke (probably ****ing him too? Idk)
  
• The is shabby. She always look untidy and does not take care of her appeareance
  

Is it possible I am exaggerating? She's 31 years old, not 21.

 

 

I know it might sound like a stupid message but I need your opinion.

 

 

Thanks

Edited July 16, 2018 by Hojashojas

[Mrin]

Life it too short to date flaky cokeheads

[Echo74]

So she's a 31 year old"'shabby" coke head and you like her? Sorry but being a lawyer and running a marathon are not "pros" in my book. Nice that she does charity work but she should work on her own issues first. You seriously need to look deeper into why you like her because most of those pros aren't really great reasons to be with someone. And to make matters worst, she dumped you TWICE!

[d0nnivain]

She's a drug addict. Lawyer & marathon runner or not, eventually it will all come crashing down on her. Read a book called A Girl Walks Out of A Bar by Lisa Smith. It's an amazing story but it should make you run away from this woman you are trying to save who prefers to be addicted. If you ask her, the lawyer will say the coke gives her an edge & she "can handle it." ha

[kendahke]

[*]She admits she has a problem with cocaine. Even though she said she has not done in 3 months. Last time was at her brother's wedding. Isn't doing a family ocassion a red flag?

 

doing cocaine anytime/anywhere is a red flag.

 

I know it might sound like a stupid message but I need your opinion.

 

She's your ex. There's a reason why. Remember it and act like you know what it is. You're not that hapless.

[LifeBeginsAt40]

I love that - pros, she ran a marathon.

 

She sounds like a car crash. I was once in love with a girl like this in my 20's. She was with an on / off boyfriend who she lived with, and basically just used him to pay the bills / look after her child from another man whilst she was out partying.

 

Thing is, there was just something about her. She was irresistible - very very attractive brunette, everything in the right places, and she knew how to wrap men around her finger.

 

I realised quite soon after meeting her what she was like. She would do drugs, call me up and demand sex etc in the middle of the night, get upset if I didn't invite her round, all sorts of mental. It was fun for a few months, but I knew not to get attached - I would take her out to a bar and she would start snogging other people (men or women) whilst I was stood next to her!!

 

I think this girl is from a similar ilk from what you are describing. Head all sorts of messed up, doesn't know what she wants, but seeing as you are here you'll do for a bit of fun until the next drama. If you can just have casual sex with her then great, but I wouldn't go developing feelings!!

[smackie9]

Too many people who have high profile/high paying jobs, end up snaying their paycheck up their nose. It's considered a classy drug, great for losing weight, for getting pumped up before your presentation, etc. But a drug user is a loser. She gets busted, she loses everything, and if you are with her, you get busted too and pulled down with her...especially when she says it's yours. Don't be a damn fool...walk away.

[mortensorchid]

Run. Run away. And run fast.

[SevenCity]

I remember getting advice when I was a teen from my manager when I was faced with an interested coke using older girl.

 

He said:

 

“A woman will always love her drugs more than she loves you”

 

That was 30 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. I heeded that advice to this day.

[Hojashojas]

Thanks for the answers.

I am starting to believe she lied to me and she does way more drugs than she claims.

Who does coke at their brother's wedding?

I am too naive I think

[kendahke]

Who does coke at their brother's wedding?

 

People who want to toot up.

 

People do coke anywhere/everywhere.

 

I am too naive I think

 

Could be...