Purrrfect Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 (edited) Yep it’s me posting on a guy I met Thur night for the first time face to face in a brief meet n greet. He messaged me on FB about 10 days ago after he saw me post on our high school alumni board on the death of a classmate. I noticed his FB pic he’s super cute about 8 years younger so I think he’s 38. Never married no kids. We had a couple days of decent conversation then he started asked me to come over to my house and it was always when my kids were there. Like there’s some excitement in being snuck in. Well this guy is super cute but I’m not letting a stranger over to my house esp when my kids are there. So I finally got him off of that or at least I thought. We had 2 brief conversations on phone and he seemed normal. Thur night I didn’t have my kids and went out to meet a friend. This guy was not far away so in a whim we decided to do a brief meet just to check each other out. He pulls up in an Audi ( I know he’s into cars) gave me a hug. Gorgeous. Great shape an absolute doll. He gives me a kiss and we hug and say goodbye. I tell my coworker about him. Turns out she met him 5 years ago on an online dating app. They went on 3 dates. No sex. No kiss and she said he was very good looking but there was somethIng off about him. So we texted a little Fri he was quiet. Sat night about 8 he texts and asks what I’m doing. I make it clear I am alone. I honestly would have been up for a hook up but he didn’t mention anything about coming over. He asks me kind of a sexual question. I answer. He sends a racy response and then goes quiet and then doesn’t sex me until 2 pm today. I asked him WTF is up with the sexual questions and then going silent? He claims he fell asleep. So he texts again at 6 tonight , I ask him how his day was. He knows I have my kids and starts with the “ are you going to sneak me in tonight”. Now I’m annoyed. But I told him If he wants to come over we do it tue so we can be alone. He then starts playing games and says “ nevermind you’ve blown me off enough times nice meeting you. Bye. “. I’m like WTF? I sent him a text that he’s being silly and I’ve made it clear I’d like to see him when kidless. No response. I’ve deleted his number. I texted my coworker who met him on this and she remembers him playing mind games and similar bs now that she remembers. I didn’t tell him I know someone who met him Weird. He is cute and I’m tired of being single after 4 years but I can’t settke for this nonsense. Edited July 16, 2018 by Purrrfect Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 what an ******* Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Sounds like you handled this well. Really bad social skills ... bizarre social ills ... no social skills ... no common sense ... something is off about his sexuality ... asking to come over way too soon ... There are so many things wrong ... in only just a few interactions. Your coworker was on the money--wasn't she? Stay far away. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Yes stay away. You were lucky that your coworker (and you are double lucky that your coworker is decent enough to tell you these things) gave you some insight. Don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it, just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 what an ******* Sounds like you handled this well. Stay far away. Yes stay away.. Masterful advice and I also note the operative phrase in the OP once again: Well this guy is super cuteHe is cute and I’m tired of being single after 4 yearsLooks get the interview and sometimes more Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 That just sounds frustrating. You set out your demands (come and visit when kids aren't around - a reasonable request) and it sounds like he just didn't care. I would have fobbed him off too. I can't answer your question in the thread title, but I honestly wouldn't care what the answer is. Don't contact him again (it's pretty pointless), go and find the next person Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 The only time he wanted to be with you was when your children were present in the home? He sounds like a predator to me. What emotionally/mentally healthy male would pass up alone time with a potential new partner and instead want to engage in behavior that could impact your children? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 He’s probably a pedofile and really wanted to get at your children. You were smart to keep him away but your first red flag was him inviting himself over to your place. Even if he was normal, that’s just bad manners. Especially when the two of you don’t even know one another. Handsome or not, he’s bad news all the way around. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 He sounds creepy. Maybe he's a ped 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purrrfect Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 As far as the pedo comments you never know. I did some digging on him and only found a marijuana charge from 8 years ago. Has a good job he’s not a sex offender and there’s really nothing much on him online has a small internet/ social media footprint. I found a screen name he uses when I found his Twitter and when I googled his phone number. He posts on cars he’s into bmws and Audi’s. That’s it. I do agree he’s an oddball and it’s best we stop contact now. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 As far as the pedo comments you never know. I did some digging on him and only found a marijuana charge from 8 years ago. Has a good job he’s not a sex offender and there’s really nothing much on him online has a small internet/ social media footprint. I found a screen name he uses when I found his Twitter and when I googled his phone number. He posts on cars he’s into bmws and Audi’s. That’s it. I do agree he’s an oddball and it’s best we stop contact now. Pedofilia is far more common than most of us realize. Most women can’t even conceive of this concept so it seems far-fetched to us. Guys like that can get away with it for many years. Some never get caught. All you need to know is that there’s something off here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 This is why you should never let a stranger know where you live or invite them over. You risk your safety. Even serial killers/rapists can be good looking and charming. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Purrrfect Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 As far as the pedo comments you never know. I did some digging on him and only found a marijuana charge from 8 years ago. Has a good job heÂ’s not a sex offender and thereÂ’s really nothing much on him online has a small internet/ social media footprint. I found a screen name he uses when I found his Twitter and when I googled his phone number. He posts on cars heÂ’s into bmws and AudiÂ’s. ThatÂ’s it. I do agree heÂ’s an oddball and itÂ’s best we stop contact now. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 he’s not a sex offender You don't know that. All you know is that he's not a registered sex offender--he might have been operating under the radar and hasn't been caught... ...yet because, like Ted Bundy, he's trading on his good looks to get him to where he wants to be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 All I know is you did the right thing because if I had kids and a guy only wanted to sneak over when they were home red flags, sky rockets and bombs would be going off in my head. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Well, your coworker was correct: there is something really off about this man. Not finding any record of a sex-related offense online does not mean this guy is not a predator or does not have a history of inappropriate behaviour. I am generally not quick to toss that term around, but if a grown man only wanted to come to my home when my children were there, I would slam that door shut immediately. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 He didn't write back after sexting because he fell asleep after getting himself off. he keeps wanting you to let him in when the kids are there so that's a huge red flag. He could be a pedophile. He didn't have sex with that other woman so that also fits that he could be a pedophile. If he's real real particular about times and he's not a pedophile, then he's got something going on with someone else and is trying to hit certain time windows. But it's super creepy. Yes it could be he just gets off on sneaking and having sneaky forbidden sex or something, but I would not take that chance with children in the house in case it's the other one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Yeah, first he wants to sneak into your house, then next thing you know he'll be sneaking out of your bedroom down the hall. Block him. I hope he doesn't have your address. Some peds prey on single mothers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ElKay Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 He either was a pedo or had a fetish about being caught which would get annoying long term anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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