If a guy never texts you first, is that definite sign he’s not interested?

[firestar]

Would you say that if a guy never texts you first except to talk about stuff that he has to talk to you about then that means he has no interest in you?

Edited July 2, 2018 by firestar

[BoxNSox]

I had a brief relationship with a girl who never texted first. She was interested enough to go on multiple dates and we always had great conversations with a lot of laughs, but between all of that she never once took the initiative to contact me. In fact, I was so certain that she would never text me unless I texted her that I decided to not contact her for an entire week. I didn't hear from her a single time.

 

After that I told her how her lack of initiative made her seem disinterested and we parted ways amicably. I lost interest due to her lack of initiative. Take what you will from my story.

[firestar]

I had a brief relationship with a girl who never texted first. She was interested enough to go on multiple dates and we always had great conversations with a lot of laughs, but between all of that she never once took the initiative to contact me. In fact, I was so certain that she would never text me unless I texted her that I decided to not contact her for an entire week. I didn't hear from her a single time.

 

After that I told her how her lack of initiative made her seem disinterested and we parted ways amicably. I lost interest due to her lack of initiative. Take what you will from my story.

 

Your situation was a little different. She never once texted first after you took the initiative multiple times. This guy has never texted me even once just to say hi. So, it’s looking like he’s not interested.

[BoxNSox]

Your situation was a little different. She never once texted first after you took the initiative multiple times. This guy has never texted me even once just to say hi. So, it’s looking like he’s not interested.

 

Oh, I thought your OP said he did text first, but only when it came to stuff he had to talk to you about. Did I get that wrong?

[firestar]

Oh, I thought your OP said he did text first, but only when it came to stuff he had to talk to you about. Did I get that wrong?

 

No, you’re right. It was only about stuff we had to talk about and definitely never to ask me out on a date. He has never texted me once just to say hi (I have).

[geckojohn]

He is not interested.

 

Save your energy for someone that appreciates you and that is interested in you.

[GoreSP]

Some people don’t consider texts to be useful for conversations and only use it for stuff like confirming plans, asking for info etc.

[snowboy91]

To answer your question, it's likely, though not definite. Either way, it sounds like you need to have him make the initial contact/plan dates some of the time, and that's OK. It's draining when you're the one making all the effort.

 

I'd find someone who is willing to put in that effort.

[Zippy2000]

In my experience this person isn't interested in you. Out of all the girls Ive dated. I always had people who were interested in me would call or text me or make any excuse to get me out and meet them.

 

 

If a person is interested in you. Its to do with their actions. A person would call, text, buy you flowers or chocolates. Ok that's maybe a bit too much but humans like other animals do things/actions to get the other person interested.

 

 

Why don't you do a test? For example since you've read my post. Why not wait a FULL 7 days or 2 weeks to see if he will message you. Yes that's 7 or 14 days from when you read this post.

 

 

If he hasn't messaged to see how you are what happened to you then you know your answer. I mean you could of died and he wouldn't know.

[heavenonearth]

My boyfriend barely ever texts me unless I initiate.

 

I think it really depends on the person.

 

It's hard to say what's going on here without knowing more about the relationship.

[kendahke]

Would you say that if a guy never texts you first except to talk about stuff that he has to talk to you about then that means he has no interest in you?

 

Yes.

 

That is the most basic measurement of interest---how willing are they to reach out to you without you first prompting them in some way.

 

Right now, I'm on a dating app and so far, I've had one first meeting and I'm talking to another gentleman. The guy I met did not ask one question about me when we talking face to face--I knew halfway through the meet that he was going to be cut off that day. The man I'm chatting with right now asks A LOT of questions, which indicates to me that he has a healthy interest.

 

I also was chatting with a guy I'd met while in the UK about 2 years ago during my vacation as I was on my way to Mont St Michel in Normandy, France... about a year after I'd been back, he stopped initiating conversation and his replies to my texts were all one word answers. Before, he would initiate conversation, send pics of him and his family (who I'd met while over there), but yeah... he dropped off the face of the earth.

 

All this to say: if a man is interested, it's very obvious. A long time ago I stopped investing in "what if" and "what about" scenarios to try to explain away the fact that they weren't interested.

[lurker74]

Would you say that if a guy never texts you first except to talk about stuff that he has to talk to you about then that means he has no interest in you?

 

Yes, that is what it means.

[smackie9]

OK this is what I tell everyone...date those who treat you the way you expect/want to be treated. If they don't, then you are not compatible simple as that, there is no need to go any further. Stop wasting your time complaining about it, and next them.

[damni]

Yeah I am afraid so. Try not initiating and see if he steps up then you have your answer.

[Gaeta]

If a man likes you he will communicate with you whether it's by text, call, messenger, email or Morse codes if he has to. If he does not communicate with you it's because you're not on his mind.

 

 

 

My BF doesn't text and he rarely did when we started dating but he called! He'd call to say hello and to set up dates. He called at least every second day. His mission was to 'win me over'. How will a man win you over if he doesn't communicate with you or invite you on dates?

[Rocker71]

I had a brief relationship with a girl who never texted first. She was interested enough to go on multiple dates and we always had great conversations with a lot of laughs, but between all of that she never once took the initiative to contact me. In fact, I was so certain that she would never text me unless I texted her that I decided to not contact her for an entire week. I didn't hear from her a single time.

 

After that I told her how her lack of initiative made her seem disinterested and we parted ways amicably. I lost interest due to her lack of initiative. Take what you will from my story.

 

Same here. The woman I was seeing initiated a text maybe 3 times and 1 phone call in the span of about 10 months.

I'd text her and she'd text me back. If I called her she sounded happy. I tried to maybe call her once about every 2 weeks and send her a text once or twice a week starting out. Then when I noticed I was doing 90% initiating I thinned out my communications.

 

It's been about 3 months since I texted her. i guess she lost interest. Meanwhile I'm seeing 2 other women.

 

I'm guessing someone gave her 'advice' to be careful not to be the first to text or she'd look desperate. Or maybe she's busy seeing other dudes.

[Rocker71]

Your situation was a little different. She never once texted first after you took the initiative multiple times. This guy has never texted me even once just to say hi. So, it’s looking like he’s not interested.

 

I'd say he's not interested or he's keeping you for a rainy day. Move on.

[guest569]

Oh come on, how often are we talking? How often does he text or call? Is he setting up dates with you? How often? So many factors than who texts first.

[act00]

I'm going to lean in the direction of not really interested. There has to be a balance of someone's communication style and acceptance thereof...not that there is any immediate communication, but when it comes to online, I find that men will communicate more because of the "hot and heavy" factor of a new relationship, and the excitement, and not wanting to lose the momentum in a new relationship when you first meet..if they don't feel the need to check in, or want to make sure you don't stray, they pop in and say "Hi" or "How was your day." My personal experience is that men reach out when they're really, really interested, and let bygones be bygones if they're not. If you're not getting texts, are you getting anything else? A phone call? An email?

 

In quite a lot of my dating situations, I have found that if they aren't reaching out, they're not really interested. I'm in my 40s and grew up in a land without technology; a lot of men despising and avoiding texting like the plague, while I have embraced this wonderful communication enhancer. I don't expect a lot of texting, but I do expect a promised phone call. If you get nothing, it's time to drop the rope. If you're the only one reaching out first? Time to drop the rope.

 

As women, I think there is a lot of "training" to be coy and hard to get, make him chase you, which may hold some validity, but you've got to give this guy a clear indication you're interested, so extend yourself...and when you're the only one putting yourself out there? Drop the rope. Accept the "hint." Move on. If he's into you in any small fashion, he won't risk you wandering off...he'll want to keep that foot in the door, and he'll reach out.